Hardest part of the Doctrine

If I may be so mean, let me please use this opportunity to bump one of my own older threads about more or less the same thing:

https://www.templeofthejediorder.org/forum/open-discussions/113117-to-bend-or-to-be-bent?

I'm with you all the way. I grew up in a rough environment, and didn't receive (much more expect) mercy. Relearning forgiveness and deconstructing my me-against-the-world attitude takes constant work.

There are two parts that I find especially hard. Peace, and attachment.

When I say peace that is not to say that I do not desire peace, but that my understanding of peace is that I may have to become violent to bring peace back. I literally have trouble understanding the concepts of pacifism. I can't see it as anything other than weakness and giving up. I was raised to always fight back. I carry a gun, a knife, and have trained in martial arts my entire life. I live for peace, but I will not sit idly by while others disrupt it. This is what I mean when I say I have trouble with peace. I guess I just have issues with some people's definitions of peace and what it means to be an instrument of it.

Attachment is kind of obvious. I like stuff. My wall of KISS merchandise and my collection of comic books. I love them. I could learn to live without them, but it would be hard for me.