Sentimentality

While I was away getting married I lost a necklace that I've worn pretty much every day for two years, and owned it longer than that. It had immense sentimental value and a month and a half later I'm still feeling its loss.

Then, yesterday, after 7 years of driving an old a car, I bought a new one. The old car was dirty, rusty, the windscreen washer didn't work, the inside light didn't work, the screen heater didn't work.. the seats were stained, the paint was scratched and scraped, there were dents where people kept hitting my car with their car doors.. in short, its only value was in the fact I could drive it from A to B (it certainly weren't worth anything monetarily!). And yet that car had a sort of sentimental value, having been the car I drove to (and through) many experiences.

What is sentimentality? Is it attachment? Fear of change? Is the projection of experience onto an inanimate object?
Why do I care about a car that I couldn't wait to be shot of? Questions, people!

Not sure if this will answer in part your question, but here it goes.

When something becomes a part of you, letting go can be difficult. I think even an object can become an extension of self especially if it has been with you for a long time. That said, it is an aspect of change which for most of us is difficult. I drove a pickup for many years. Loved just driving around in it. Then I had a child and for safety reasons, had to give it up. I was a little resistant but saw the logic behind it. I now drive an Outback and I like it. Change is constant yet there are those times we act like a rock trying to hold back the stream.

I think it's a little bit of all of those things you listed.

I have a few very small things that if I lost them, it would hurt: a ring my daughter bought for me, a tiny stuffed eeyore that traveled around the country with me when I was running away from myself, little pins that were given to me to recognize this and that, a few holiday ornaments, my black belt, and very soon a unique sticker on my name tag at work to show that I can use the forklift (it means much more than that to me, but you get the idea).

But like I've told my kid many times: they're just things. The memory that they represent is always yours. So we write it down, keep a journal, talk to other people about it to keep whatever it was close to our experience when we need to recall times of strength and inspiration. Those things, the important parts of those objects, can't be lost.

I agree with Snowy Aftermath. It's not the object themselves that we're attached to, it's the memory(or memories) that comes with them, the feeling(or feelings) that they can bring back into our lives.

I've almost always been a minimalist/a utilitarian, but I will admit that I do have a small stone box (about as big as my hand) with silly little things that bring back those good memories- a necklace (probably not unlike yours), a few movie/travel tickets, a couple of old keys, a golf-ball (I don't play), etc. Each one of those things holds a special memory for me, and yes, if I lost them, I would be sad; but then again, it's the memory that I love, not the objects themselves.

I've begun contemplating/meditating on the idea of attachment (and especially over attachment) because I recently moved in with a young woman that is in the beginning stages of hoarding (clothes and household items mostly). I've known this woman for years, (she is as close to me as a sister, though we lived far apart for a while), but from what I know, it began when she insisted upon keeping boxes upon boxes of her childhood toys and clothes and things. (I ran into a large container filled to the brim with fading My Little Ponies yesterday.) She just couldn't (and still can't) let them go. And now it has begun to progress to collecting new clothes and 'fun household things' (like cute or funny pot holders, silly oven gloves, cute tea towels, etc.), which are never used. (In fact, she has stacks of unopened parcels containing these things, and a few of them date back to almost three years ago.)

Yoda once said (and yes, I know there's some dislike of Star Wars references here, but I feel that it is apt for the occasion), 'Attachment leads to jealousy.' Jealousy here is not envy (wanting what you don't have), but is the extreme care in protecting something that has already been obtained (e.g. jealously guarded). Needing to have physical things leads to the inability to let go. And unfortunately, my friend is a good example of this.

What is it; a type of embodied memory perhaps?
I'd suggest what made it your car was not that you owned it, but that it became a part of you in some way - a form of attachment perhaps, or maybe better considered an adhesion. I think attachment incurs a significant symbolic attribute, while adhesion is more just blending together because of circumstance. Since you bought up cars.... I had an awesome sports car for awhile, and then after that I had a $200 clunker which was solid but well.... $200. I really had a connection with both of them, but I'm only sentimental about the sports car even if there remains some sentiment to the experience of the clunker. And yes I am attached to the sports car, I still look through used car sales for it to appear on the market
:blush: