Upbringing

Prelalo wrote: Thank you everybody for your insights. I brought up this topic because I feel that I am different from the family and friends I was raised around, and drug free with no arrests despite the community I was raised in. I always felt we are who we want to be, we don't have to follow the "monkey see, monkey do" scenario, and sometimes it's not a bad thing to stray from the beaten path of your peers. After reading I realize our upbringing is what makes you either a fighter or a follower, I'm sure if I was raised in a different atmosphere I would be the one with negative influence on life and surroundings.

To many times in my own path I heard that monkey see monkey do... eventually thru trial and error , a lot of error, I learned I directly have control. That changed everything.
http://www.jamesallen.wwwhubs.com/think.htm
heres a great read if you have time right from our own library
https://www.templeofthejediorder.org/library

Prelalo wrote: We are not a product of our surroundings, we are who we want to be. Thoughts?

True.... if you are willing to move beyond the conditioning and beliefs that our surroundings and experiences create if we do not consciously shape them ourselves.

Not many people are.

I'd argue that we're not SIMPLY a product of our surroundings because we're truly PART of our surroundings (as we are likewise the 'surroundings' (of part of them) for other people) and so therefore we can't be simply be a product. I wish I could explain this better but I'm going to try using an example of Alan Watts to explain this...

There's a fence with a thin slate of wood missing. You've never seen a cat before. Through the missing gap you see for the first time its head which is then followed by its tail. It passes again by the gap and you once again see the head followed by its tail. You then reason that the tail is a product of the head.

However, we know otherwise don't we - because we know they (the tail and head) come together don't they? Likewise with we and our surroundings. Does that make sense?

In any case whether we are or not a product of our surroundings, I think believing that we are who we want to be is a pretty idea but it has some flaws; namely it'll probably set you up for either justifying every action you do as 'good' or set you up for a huge guilt trip when you do mess up and the action doesn't go well with who you want/think/feel you are. (Although I guess this all depends on whether you think your actions are who you are or vice versa. Do your actions show 'who you are' OR does 'who you are' decide your actions? I think it's a bit of them both, )

Nice question, Thanks!