Dealing with laziness

I've been living the Jedi lifestyle for a while now. The more I experience, the more I seem to get disappointed. Not at the Jedi lifestyle or the code I choose to follow, but by the people around me.

I've come to realize how lazy people really are. Many seem to always be waiting for someone else to come along and clean up, deal, organize, or push their mess out of the way. I've been aware of all their laziness and selfishness, but it seems to be getting worse... or perhaps they take everything for granted, always thinking someone will do these things for them.

So I thought asking for advice would be a good place to go instead of getting frustrated or overwhelmed.

How do you all not let the laziness of others bring you down?

(I apologize if I am not making myself 100% clear)

This may sound like a cop out, but I always try to worry about myself first.

When I lived with roommates who would not clean up after themselves or help with chores, I used to get really angry and frustrated. Sometimes I would become apathetic and just say 'screw it'! We would all end up living in squalor.

Then I decided to try setting the example instead. I would wash my dishes and then I would wash everyone else's too. I started taking out the trash because it bothered ME, not for any other reason. I would clean the bathroom because I wanted to be comfortable using it. I don't know if it was inspiration or guilt, but slowly the rest of them started coming around and doing their share.

Sometimes people just need to see someone else stepping up and being successful doing it in order to get motivated themselves. Laziness breeds laziness, but hard workers have a way of making lazy people really uncomfortable.

And let's not forget about patience... emotion, yet peace.

Good advice and yes...patience. I try to remember that my anger or frustration with them will not change the situation. That does help.

What if the people don't care at all what you do or say though? The laziness I am talking about is seen more as a privilege than a problem.

Figment wrote: What if the people don't care at all what you do or say though? The laziness I am talking about is seen more as a privilege than a problem.

That's one of the problems, isn't it? You kind of hope for help, even when it is not guaranteed. It can be extremely frustrating. Going along with what Senan is getting at, I live in a module with 5 other guys, and none of them are willing to put a scrap of work into cleaning. However, I remember:

For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned...

As much as I would like them to step up to the plate (most of it is their mess after all), that can't be the motive behind our cleaning.

We should do what is right because it is right, not because we would like to make others realize the error of their ways. If they do end up seeing an error in something they do, then great! We will be there to help them! If not, well, we just have to keep going down the right path ourselves.

It's like the old saying goes: You can lead a horse to water, but that doesn't mean they'll drink it.

Laziness can also be a symptom of other deeper issues. It could be a result of upbringing, a lack of confidence, or the person may be just plain selfish.

I am currently struggling to help my youngest brother who the rest of the family has written off as "lazy". The more I explored the problems he has had keeping jobs or even doing the simplest of tasks, the more I have begun to see that his issues are rooted in anxiety which then spirals into depression. He has tried before and failed. He fears failing again and becomes overly anxious about being judged so he decides instead to stop trying. He is then seen as an even bigger failure for not trying, so he gives up again.

Don't get me wrong. I don't believe in making excuses for someone. I am willing to help him how I can, but he needs to put the effort in as well. And that means my parents need to stop enabling him and letting him skate by on their dime.

Sometimes we are just writing people off as "lazy" or "privileged" when there is more to the story. Or sometimes people are just lazy a-holes and we have to be content knowing that as Jedi, part of our purpose is to improve the world despite those who will gladly sit idly by and let us do it for them. It is a burden we as Jedi must learn to share with our brothers and sisters in the Force.

Senan wrote: Sometimes we are just writing people off as "lazy" or "privileged" when there is more to the story. Or sometimes people are just lazy a-holes and we have to be content knowing that as Jedi, part of our purpose is to improve the world despite those who will gladly sit idly by and let us do it for them. It is a burden we as Jedi must learn to share with our brothers and sisters in the Force.

Well put! Learning how to not be too quick to judge someone is one of life's most important lessons. It's a difficult lesson to learn, to be sure, but an essential one nonetheless. To quote Billy Connolly:

"Before you judge a man, walk a mile in their shoes. After that, who cares? You're a mile away from them and you have their shoes".

In all seriousness though, tolerance is crucial in life, and beneficial the second you begin to practice it.

P.S. The best of luck to your brother, Senan. The employment world is a difficult one!

Figment wrote: I've been living the Jedi lifestyle for a while now. The more I experience, the more I seem to get disappointed. Not at the Jedi lifestyle or the code I choose to follow, but by the people around me.

I've come to realize how lazy people really are. Many seem to always be waiting for someone else to come along and clean up, deal, organize, or push their mess out of the way. I've been aware of all their laziness and selfishness, but it seems to be getting worse... or perhaps they take everything for granted, always thinking someone will do these things for them.

So I thought asking for advice would be a good place to go instead of getting frustrated or overwhelmed.

How do you all not let the laziness of others bring you down?

(I apologize if I am not making myself 100% clear)

i deal with it by not being lazy myself , i try not to let it get to me , everybody has its own responsibilities

Figment wrote: Good advice and yes...patience. I try to remember that my anger or frustration with them will not change the situation. That does help.

What if the people don't care at all what you do or say though? The laziness I am talking about is seen more as a privilege than a problem.

Live your life the best you can. Be a good example to others. Some people need a gently reminder or two. They will only change when the see the error of their ways. If the never do, choose your friends and roommates carefully. Live your life the best you can...etc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXsQAXx_ao0

Sometimes the best thing to do is to accept that some people are better at some things than in others. Clean, sure. Maybe chill for things they would be willing to do for you?

Personally, I wouldn't clean after them. Sometimes tough love helps.