A taster to a novel

I have a strange request. I am planning in writing a novel, and I need opinions on my opening chapter on whether it would work.

The stars glimmered through the windows of a well lit room. Each had a story to tell, with secrets left to spill. The soft hum of the generators bled through the floor and walls of the office, whilst the computer console beeped soullessly. The lone occupant, a naval Captain, stood staring through the window, lost amongst the stars before him. Tell me your secrets he thought to himself. In the far distance glimmered a freight convoy, the bright rays of Sol, the systems star, shining softly off of their solar reflectors. The importance of his mission wasn’t lost on him. Patrol a desolate sector of space to protect the lives of many. Without this vital supply route, many colonists, he knew, would starve and die. Living on freshly built colonies was a danger in itself. Hostile environment, food and water shortages and dangerous living conditions prevented children from being brought to the colonies, causing the population to diminish. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of an opening door. He looked over to see a bridge officer step through the opening and salute him.
“Captain Seamus sir, we need you on the bridge.” He announced, remaining firmly to attention. Seamus nodded, a smile creeping across his face. He cast his mind back to previous ‘predicaments’ of their assignment.
“More rogue meteors to blast away?” he asked the bridge officer. His name was Marcus Shackleton, an Alliance Naval Ensign. Ensign Shackleton shook his head, his face serious. “It’s best if you just come onto the bridge sir.” He said before turning to leave. Seamus followed behind, leaving his thoughts behind in the office for another day, glancing back through the window before following the officer onto the bridge. As he stepped through the door he was met by the sound of computers and people, all chattering away, discussing something that was on the view screen at the front of the bridge. Seamus looked over to see a large vessel approaching at low speed, too far away to be identified. She was big, that much was obvious.
“Any comms traffic from her?” he asked Ensign Shackleton. Shackleton shook his head. Seamus took a deep breath before nodding to the comms Lieutenant, Eva Rattlie. She clicked a button on her panel and turned back to Seamus, giving him to go ahead.
“Unidentified vessel, this is Captain William Seamus of the Alliance Naval Ship Solidarity, please identify yourself.” He called over the channel. There was silence, but she continued moving towards them, slowly picking up speed. Seamus spoke up again, repeating the message. “Unidentified vessel, this is Captain William Seamus of the ANS Solidarity. You are entering restricted Alliance controlled space. Power down your engines and identify yourself.” The silence continued. By now she was close enough to be identified by visual scanners.
“Captain, I have a visual readout of her hull configuration. She’s Titan Class, a United Separatist Nations Battleship. She’s got hammers and stars on the side. I’ve run the inscription through the translation database. It says Separatist Naval Ship Vladivostok.” The Ops officer announced. Seamus looked to Eva. “Send this message across all comms frequencies, make sure they hear this” he ordered. “Yes sir”. With a few button presses, the comms array was ready.
“This is Captain William Seamus of the Alliance Naval Ship Solidarity, contacting SNS Vladivostok. You are trespassing in Alliance space and are ordered to shut down your engines and prepare your ship to be boarded. Any resistance will be met by force.” He stood staring at the ship, which continued to bear down on them. You have some secrets too he thought to himself. No response came from the large ship as it approached the port side of the Solidarity. He looked towards his tactical officer and nodded. The tactical officer glanced down and pressed a few buttons, raising the ships shields. The bridge turned red as the ship went to Red Alert. “Red Alert, all hands to battle stations” the computers voice came over the tannoy system. “I’m raising shields” the tactical officer announced.
“Belay that, wait for my command. Let them come closer. I want to be at point blank when we unleash our broadside.” Seamus ordered. Sam nodded, pulling his hand away from the console. The Vladivostok continued to close in on the Solidarity, her shields up, weapons charged. Seamus held his hand in the air, waiting for the right moment. “Mister Wielding, most Union ships have the majority of their weapons on the Port side, correct?” Sam nodded “So they’ll try to keep their Port side facing their enemy. When they pass us, they’ll pull hard to Port, I want you to pull hard to Starboard, bring our second broadside down on them, minimising our damage whilst maximising theirs.” Their adversaries approached them at a daunting pace, and at the last second, Seamus dropped his hand, whilst screaming his order “Now!” On his command, the Solidarities shields burst into life, and her guns opened fire on their much bigger enemy, their energy bolts tearing through shield and hull alike, sending metal, components and personnel into the vacuum of space, as the Vladivostok returned in kind, its huge broadside battering the Solidarity. Seamus collapsed where he stood, the shock of the impact buckling his knees. With his ears ringing, he struggled to his feet, alarms ringing, rattling his brain. He looked out the viewscreen, noting that his orders were followed. The Solidarity began rapidly turning to Starboard, the stars ahead flying left.
“Status report Shackleton.” He called out, glancing around the bridge, searching for his bridge officer. His head popped up from behind the captains chair as he moved towards his console.
“Reports of fires in decks 4,5 and 7, hull breach of deck 6, sections 2 through 15. FTL drive is offline, serious damage to number one engine. All in all, we're hit bad.” The look of dread on the young Ensigns face made Seamus feel unease. He moved to sit in his seat at the centre of the bridge. As he sat there, uneasy thoughts crept through his mind. Something isn't right about this he thought to himself. Before he could consider his next move, the ship rocked and jumped again with the shock of another volley from the Vladivostok, which was followed by the sounds of the ships alert system.
“Alert, Core Breach, recommend ship wide evacuation.” it called. The look of alarm came across Seamus' face. The bridge crew looked to him, waiting for him to tell them what they should do. He sat for a moment, thoughts flying through his head. That moment felt like an eternity. Before he could make his decision, another volley rocked the ship. Sparks flew across the bridge, screens shattered and the viewscreen cracked and shut down. Seamus clicked the panel on the arm of his chair.
“All hands, abandon ship. Set coordinates for the orbit of Sanctuary.” He announced. The bridge crew sprung to life, but only for a moment. There was a colossal crash, and the bridge heaved, more than it had before. The crack in the viewscreen shattered, opening up the bridge to the vacuum of space, and the crew, one by one, were blown into the darkness, flying off to find out the secrets of space. Seamus, clinging to his chair, closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and let go.