Excuse vs explanation

A friend said to me, "An explanation is just an excuse until you use that information to change something."

What are your thoughts?

That's certainly an interesting way of putting it, albeit somewhat dismissive.

If I'm late for work because I was in an automobile wreck (heaven forbid), is that an excuse for my tardiness or an explanation of my tardiness? Maybe it's both. I'm not sure. However, there is no information in an event such as that, which can be conveyed, that can change anything about the situation.

Honestly, it kind of comes off to me as dismissive, and something someone would say who had no interest in hearing the details on why/why not. Maybe that's just me.

I don't know, I've warred with this for a while. When I was late (or if I did anything wrong), I had a supervisor who would ask why, then complain that I was offering excuses. I said I wasn't making excuses, I was explaining what happened.

But when I was offering explanations, I wasn't trying to get OUT of anything. I was willing to accept the consequences, just explaining what had happened. I feel like excuses are what you feed to people when you're trying to get out of things and are avoiding the consequences or even avoiding responsibility.

Which I guess is what your friend said in a way too.

There's a saying we have here "Excuses are like ***holes, everybody has them and they all stink." :lol:

Kamizu wrote: But when I was offering explanations, I wasn't trying to get OUT of anything. I was willing to accept the consequences, just explaining what had happened. I feel like excuses are what you feed to people when you're trying to get out of things and are avoiding the consequences or even avoiding responsibility.

This, exactly this.

i would day that an excuse is a story of being overcome by events and an explanation is a story about events that were overcome

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how we judge the difference in other people or how others will judge us is a matter of individuals

some people are highly commited to the thing at hand and some are just highly commited as a general rule and these people are willing to take a lot of measures to see that things turn out a specific way and if the measures dont work on some occasion they do whatever they can improvise and then they integrate that experience in to future measures - such people tend to see anything less than this as excuses and to a great degree they are right

also there are people who just demand to get their way without regard to anything other than what they expect and want and when such people make it to positions of authority they will usually label anything that doesnt live up to their demanda as failure and excuse making

OB1Shinobi wrote: i would day that an excuse is a story of being overcome by events and an explanation is a story about events that were overcome

This is extremely well put.

except for being the wrong "day" lol
thanks though
i always enjoyed good quotes so my mind just naturally makes thing into succint little clips

i should work for a fortune cookie company!

Kamizu wrote: I don't know, I've warred with this for a while. When I was late (or if I did anything wrong), I had a supervisor who would ask why, then complain that I was offering excuses. I said I wasn't making excuses, I was explaining what happened.

But when I was offering explanations, I wasn't trying to get OUT of anything. I was willing to accept the consequences, just explaining what had happened. I feel like excuses are what you feed to people when you're trying to get out of things and are avoiding the consequences or even avoiding responsibility.

Which I guess is what your friend said in a way too.

There's a saying we have here "Excuses are like ***holes, everybody has them and they all stink." :lol:

my last supervisor was like that...i had a customer shoplift, i didn't see it happen because i had 13 customers in line and it occurred out of my line of site..there were no security mirrors for me to use.

he saw it on the security camera, and asked me why i didn't do anything? i told him i didn't know it happened because i didn't see it. i pointed out that from where i have to stand to serve the customers had too many blindspots in the store, and that at the time it happened i had too many customers in line to just walk away and watch another customer walking around. his reply was "ackk, stop making excuses"

my thought was "well if you saw it happening on the camera why didn't you come out of the office and stop it?"

i've known this guy for 17years and every time i ever went into the store i told him he has too many security issues and too many blind spots...one of my many collateral duties in the navy was security/counter security...to this day i still do evaluations everywhere i go...it's just a force of habit...almost ocd...

That is a wonderful question.


That is like saying SORRY is simply saying "i will do it again".

I get it. I see it. I would not hold to it in every situation, but I do get how people can use justification and explanation to support negative patterns. "I do this because....".

I support the spirit of the explanation. How does it feel? What is the spirit of the matter?

I would let my intuition guide me around the validity of the explanation. If it feels like an excuse to continue doing something that is "out of pattern", then question it.

"Never ruin an apology with an excuse" - Benjamin Franklin

Following up an apology with an explanation is often helpful though. I find that explanations tend to implicate me and involve reasons whereas excuses try to absolve me, and require imagination!