Fighting the Inner Self

This has been re-posted in the general forum for those who might wish to comment.

This is a post from my Law of Attraction Blog that I started. The first entry was on February 6, 2012. So it has been close to three years now from the time I started my blog. What is interesting about this is that is the same year I joined TOTJO. I Registered: Wednesday, 04 July 2012. I still had a job at that time and was doing really good, then I lost my truck to a mistake and lost my job. Then I let the circumstance of not having job or truck just simply drag me down. I still have no job or not truck but I am taking steps now to get out of the hole. Anyways read on if you wish.

Fighting The Inner Self

So It has been quite some time sense I last wrote on my blog. My absence was due to allowing myself to enter a state of deep depression. Still there, but I am trying to fight my way out of all the negative states that I have allowed myself to drop into. That is why I am writing this first new entry after over a year of being away from this blog.

So what has changed in my life, you may wonder what has motivated me to write this. Well for one thing I am currently working on day 11 without smoking cigarettes. I still have a bit of a smokers cough, but I am breathing so much better now. I am starting to feel better. I have noticed that I can hardly sit still, and that I am always wanting to find something to do with my hands and fingers. But, what about the inner-self you may ask. Why the title for this post. Your talking about outer things. Yes, that is true. But you must realize that both the outer and inner world of humankind is important.

So I write this due to a dream I had while sleeping. In the dream I was being constantly barraged with the offer to have a cigarette. It was a strange dream, because it is very much like my waking self. At strange and odd times and instances I will get the urge to just go smoke a cigarette. I even begin to justify that just one cigarette won't hurt. It's only one cigarette by the way. One cigarette is not going to kill you or hurt you. But I know myself well enough to know that if I let myself fall and smoke that one cigarette it will only make it easier to justify smoking another cigarette say the next day, like I have done some many other times that I tried to stop smoking and eventually went back to smoking. I went back to smoking because I justified that one cigarette.

So back to the inner self. This decision was not just some all of a sudden decision. I had been building this decision in my mind for over a month. Sometime after Thanksgiving last year I started to tell myself, "Come January 5th I am quitting." At first it wasn't all that serious, January 5th was a long way off and you know what I could always change the day as I got closer. Then it was December. The first week passed then the second, third and fourth. During the last week of December I told a family what I was about to do. I could see the, "Yeah Right!" within their eyes. It was that day in December that the day became "LOCKED" in my mind. I said it out loud, I had given it the decision a form of life. I was now committed.

Each night as I laid down before and after that I was saying to myself that phrase over and over until I fell asleep. I made it part of what I wanted to achieve and I started to believe that I could. Then January 1st came and fear arose within me. O my I only have four days I can smoke, then it was three, two and then finally the last day. I laugh because the last day I smoked six cigarettes in a row before midnight. Yes, I stopped before 12 am or 00:00 so that I could count the days from the start of the day. At the stroke of midnight another day is completed. Today is January 15. So I have completed all the 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th, 12th, 13th, and 14th. That is 10 days.

Yes, I had to type out each one of them it made me feel good. Feeling good is important when you are undertaking any major life changing action. I have read on my websites that to establish a new habit the minimum number of days it takes is 21 days. I only have 11 days to make the beginning mark of forming a new habit. What habit some may ask, well the habit of NOT SMOKING of course. See all habits have two poles to them, you are either doing said habit or not doing said habit. For example, I have the habit of not singing. But I know that I cannot hold a tune, nor do I really even want to try to learn how to sing.

I had an art teacher when I was in the sixth grade that said, "Anyone can learn to draw, all you have to do is do what I say and you will be able to." It is the same with everything, there are steps to take. I don't know anything about singing, but I will hazard a guess that good singers don't smoke and that good singers sing something everyday. That is what you have to do to make something a habit the doing or not doing in the case of smoking and singing for me.

Now I am working on building within my inner-self the desire to write on my blog on a regular basis. Last night I started to brainstorm some ideas for my blog. One thing I noticed is that there are a lot of people who are really interested in the History of the Law of Attraction or also known as The Secret. I have many ideas floating around in my head all the time. Ideas are not my problem, sitting down and the writing out the ideas I have is my problem.

As I write other posts, please understand that I am going to be using each post as a place to celebrate. I am going to continue to talk about how I am doing with my goal of not smoking. This seems to me to be the first real goal that I have set for myself in years, it was a goal that has meaning, and has feeling behind it. It is a goal that is serious to me, and that I intend on keeping.

Well to next time, have a wonderful day.


Main Site: Law of Attraction Class 101
Source for this post: Fighting The Inner Self