"Do I care about you?"

"The meaning of caring I want to suggest is not to be confused with such meanings as wishing well, liking, comforting and maintaining, or simply having an interest in what happens to another.

Caring, as helping another grow and actualize himself, is a process, a way of relating to someone that involves development, in the same way that friendship can only emerge in time through mutual trust and a deepening and qualitative transformation of the relationship."

- Mayeroff

I have read recently how the word "care" has been used, and am concerned as this is a powerful word which is all too often misunderstood in a way which leaves someone alone in their own misery buried beneath a pile of false hopes.

We can say we "care" about many things and persons: we "care" whether our favorite team wins or not, we "care" about what happens to our parents, we "care" for our dog, we "care" whether or not we put on weight. "Caring" is an active word as opposed to a passive form which merely reflects ineffective passion or interest. In "caring" for someone or something, we are actually saying that we are doing something (ACTING) so that persons or things are aided in their developmental process.


"Caring" for someone and emotional involvement with someone are not the same thing. Caring does not require emotional involvement or love, but rather identification with the other as a valued subject being who is important to us.

To "care" is to value the other, for example to care for your neighbor is to per se value that person as a human being.

If our neighbor is valued as an object rather than as a subject there can be no "caring". A person cannot heal if there is no "caring".

If there is no need for "care" to be seen then there can be no "caring", otherwise any attempt to care for that person is nothing other than autonomy.

"Caring" involves strength, investing energy or oneself in the other.

"Caring" respects the authenticity of the other, rather than imposing a personal view of what the other should be like.

"Caring" is self sufficient, not expecting any reward.

"Caring" involves self knowledge of the self as well as of the other, not what I imagine myself to be or what I would like the other to be.

"Caring" reaches out to everyone without exception.

"Caring" does not presume that the other will be helped.

The "caring" person does not restrict him or herself by any personal consequences.

"Caring" is that part of us which allows us to interact with the world outside ourselves.

"Caring" assumes a predisposition or availability for the other.

OK Jon...

Thank you...

Maybe I missed it, whatvis your concern? What are you trying to say?

I picked up on a topic from recent posts which I considered important. Is this a problem? If so then feel free to delete the post. Otherwise I think the post in an english which is quite understandable.

lol, come one Jon, dont be defensive...

I can recall few problems you might have cause, and none in our most recent times...

I was working to engage you to make sure I understood the point you were making...

You know how words are...

"I never said she stole my money." Can be read 7 different ways....

So, to be clear, I was making sure I understood...

When I read this, I thought of my sermon entitled, "Duty" http://www.templeofthejediorder.org/sermons/1907-sermon-072411

I know the post you refer to...

Where was the misunderstanding that you were pointing out, with the speaker, or the one being spoken too...

I guess I need to go find the other thread...

Where am I being defensive? If you wish to drag up my "evil" past for present discussion be my guest, what ever makes you happy. Are you looking for a fight? I am certainly not. But do and continue as you wish. I will continue to engage in topics which interest and move me. What your reaction does do is suggest that a nerve has been touched. May be you should ask yourself why. Since when do we have to justify what we write? What I also see is how your imput is tearing up what could become an interesting discussion about caring.

What sparked off me starting this thread was the Mortose issue: what he said and the replies given. I do not wish to refer to anyone in particular because this for me is a general issue. We use words light heartedly, very often without fully realizing what their consequences may be.

I took your "it can be deleted" comment to be a bit defensive...

I'm irritable Jon, not at you... At myself...

You were not evil, I was trying to say, and not to effectively I guess, that you have caused few problems period... And of the few, none recently...

I've caused a few too in my time...

I was trying to get out of my irritable mood, and change my gears by talking about caring as well, and asking a question or two to engage a conversation...

Maybe its me you don't want to discuss with, OK, cool. I'll remove myself from your thread...

Sometimes in Apple is just an apple. Unless of course it's got worms but then the only way to find out is it take a bite. Hope it doesn't get read wrong way, wait a minute maybe I shouldn't even be in this thread, hope no one thinks I have alternative motives cause I don't think that far ahead...... :dry:
Hahahahahahahaha :woohoo:

That would be a shame if you were to remove yourself. You have always something valuable to say, as it always gives me something to think about. In light of the topic I will not say I care for you, or I love you, but I appreciate and respect you.

The topic of "caring" is of particular interest to me as in my job I have charge of 50 people. I am trained also to not just consider what I say or how I say it but how we touch people in order not to provoke false hopes and make matters worse. Even a well ment hug can proke hopes in a person who will be left to find out later that you have no time for them.