living in peace and meditation.

decided to start a thread about living in peace and meditation. mainly because i find myself living in a situation which is NOT peaceful or good for meditation. having to live with family, i am surrounded by conflict. people full of hate and anger and at times it threatens to drag me down with it. i use to live like that, angry and full of hate. led to a place i do not wish to return. being as old as i am, i know this sounds bad but i have come to the point where i find myself locking myself in my room just to try and avoid all the negativity. at times it feels like i am a rock in the middle of a violent river, waters beating at me from all sides, trying their best to wear me down. eventually even the hardest rocks can be worn away by even the calmest of waters.

I completely understand your situation. I have found myself that it is not childish for you lock yourself away if something good is produced from it. It is not good to be a recluse when times get hard, but rather, seek time to be alone to meditate and find your own strength in the silence; clearing your head and eliminating your frustration.

i try not to be a recluse but at times it just feels like avoiding all the stress would be better than confronting it. that's wrong i know. i need to find a way to address the problem without serious confrontation. but at the same time i know the road that trying to talk calmly to them will lead. it's hard to talk reason to the unreasonable. but i do try. i look for opportunities to talk and take them when i can. sometimes i feel like im doing some good, but most of the time i have to walk away to keep the peace.

sorry if i sound cynical or unappreciative of your advice. it's just ive been in this situation for over three years now and it gets hard to see the simple way to help myself. i do appreciate what you said. thank you.

We're only just getting to know you, so it would be difficult to give any specific counsel. Support, however we can supply limitlessly ... We do not know what sort of negativity you are confronting, but family matters seem to be a rich source of stress for many. It could be that confrontation is not the best strategy ; explaining "reason" (which, often "reason" is only our personal reasons for things and not "Reason" at all) is perceived as opposition, thus feeding the conflict. It could very easily be that by not resisting, the negativity loses its strength.

You need know some basic things :

What is the source of the "negativity" ? Just saying that someone is negative doesn't make it so.

Whose expectations are based on what ? How much can be given ? Who has what responsibility ? Has it been done ?

What can make it better ?

The problem with being the "rock" in the stream, is -- well, being a "rock". Rocks get worn down because they resist the current. It is better to be a leaf in the stream. One gets farther and doesn't get pulverised ...

Locking oneself away in a 'sacred place' is the right thing to do only if one is not bringing a lot of poison into that place. If one is in there to get away, yet ruminates about that which is outside, then the 'sacred place' gets desecrated.

Search the centre, not the "good" ...

as for the source of the negativity, it is that my beliefs and way of life completely contradict with theirs. i used to think like they do and have the beliefs that they do. which is to say not to believe in anything. i respect their feelings and thoughts. i ended up in a place about six years ago that made me to confront my own "demons" and thoughts. i ended up changing my life. i dont expect them to understand. like i said i have been where they are. i didnt start this a cry for help needing a solution really but support i can use. i think i started this just to have some people to listen without criticizing. believe me i get plenty of that around here. thanks for listening and for the support.

I understand knowing these things and being able to do them are two completely different things. Sometimes the noise in our minds and the noise in our ears make it seem nearly impossible.
I have experienced a bit of what you're explaining here and will keep you in my thoughts.

May the Force be with you, always.

Our situation sounds similar. But my room has become my sanctuary. It is the only place I have to get away from the negativity of it all. I wish you the best.

Quinn Stratoborn wrote: decided to start a thread about living in peace and meditation. mainly because i find myself living in a situation which is NOT peaceful or good for meditation. having to live with family, i am surrounded by conflict. people full of hate and anger and at times it threatens to drag me down with it. i use to live like that, angry and full of hate. led to a place i do not wish to return. being as old as i am, i know this sounds bad but i have come to the point where i find myself locking myself in my room just to try and avoid all the negativity. at times it feels like i am a rock in the middle of a violent river, waters beating at me from all sides, trying their best to wear me down. eventually even the hardest rocks can be worn away by even the calmest of waters.

You've got to do whatever you need to protect you own mental health. If it's your room great. I found excape in my room reading and buried in books. All types; fiction, nonfiction, self help, biographies.

Especially biographies, I find reading how other people, some famous, delt with their life challanges gives me strength to deal mine.

When I find myself in situations that are not healthy and I can't physically remove myself from it/them, reading helps feed my mind the good stuff I need for mental health and emothional strength that I need to offset a toxic situation. If that made me look reclusive so be it.

i didnt start this a cry for help needing a solution really but support i can use. i think i started this just to have some people to listen without criticizing. believe me i get plenty of that around here. thanks for listening and for the support.

Sorry if it sounds like advise but I feel for you and needed to reach out. Hang in there.

Quinn Stratoborn wrote: decided to start a thread about living in peace and meditation. mainly because i find myself living in a situation which is NOT peaceful or good for meditation. having to live with family, i am surrounded by conflict. people full of hate and anger and at times it threatens to drag me down with it. i use to live like that, angry and full of hate. led to a place i do not wish to return. being as old as i am, i know this sounds bad but i have come to the point where i find myself locking myself in my room just to try and avoid all the negativity. at times it feels like i am a rock in the middle of a violent river, waters beating at me from all sides, trying their best to wear me down. eventually even the hardest rocks can be worn away by even the calmest of waters.

LOL welcome to life my friend!!!

Sitting meditations are wonderful tools however not always effective tools for everyone. I personally find peace when hitting the weights at the gym, in Taekwondo class, or practicing martial art skills at home.