A sense of disconnection.

Its true that I've received a lot of good advice, appreciated a lot of good examples, had some nice conversation and generally feel my spirituality and knowledge have been uplifted here. I will say, though, that the overall effect is still that of a cherished message board. Perhaps my own expectations are affecting my judgement, but I would like to know people here a little deeper than what they've wrote, their handle and a sometimes not very telling at all avatar. One of the things I really liked about church growing up was the familiar faces and fun activities. I no longer prescribe to my previous denomination, however, I have chosen to prescribe to this one. Perhaps one day there will be enough of us I can do a sock hop or a movie night or even just a library day. Until then, though, I wonder if I will continue to feel like a two dimensional character writing back and forth with other two dimensional characters about what its like to see the world in 3D.

And I apologies if thats insulting. That wasn't my intent.

rugadd wrote: Perhaps my own expectations are affecting my judgement, but I would like to know people here a little deeper than what they've wrote, their handle and a sometimes not very telling at all avatar.

this is one reason i would like to see more offline activities.

We probably all would, Des ...

... and that would lend itself to some 'other' complexities which would be good for us.


And what are you growling at me about, Zenchi ? What BS am I smiling on ? And me being a Knight certainly doesn't mean that I'm right about anything in general or particular. I don't have a point to prove, except perhaps the futility of proving points. None of us have cornered the serenity market and many of us seem to have some very different uptakes on the Code, the Creed and the Teachings. We have a new version of the Doctrine now - based on various contributions apparently - yet we are far from a 'spiritually homogeneous' circus. This is probably also for the better ; it keeps us from being dogmatic.

Furthermore, I do appreciate you, whether you want it or not. It is my appreciation and I'll put it where I like. I do not necessarily wish for you to be less loud. When I mentioned "screaming", it meant anyone's - not yours. Things do change, and then they change again, and then that changes ... But at the same time, it is dishonest to say that we do not have attachments to things. And we may as well have a rant when they change, for ranting doesn't change the change nor does it pretend to be serenity. We should just probably beware of getting attached to the rant.

I'm trying to work some of this up into a sermon - about as close as Jedi come to "hell-fire and brimstone" sermons - about the sincerity which we put into our "on-line" activities as opposed to the off-line ones, in-line or 'out-of-line' on whatever line we're chalking to walk or talk ...

So sorry I didn't sugar coat the bs for you Alex, you stepped up and opened your mouth, and the only time you bother is when I'm voicing my distaste. So sorry I don't have Skype to tell it to your face. You preach of change in the TOTJO, you weren't so keen on it when you were drunk in the shoutbox threatening to leave. I'm done wasting my time and energy on people who look both ways and insist on ignoring the obvious. It doesn't matter, none of it matters...

Wow...

Really?

Someone show me where being honest requires no manners?

When being an asshole to a friend in such a public manner is "just keeping it real"?

Hmmm....

Im writing up another PM, cause you just aint getting it...

I apologize for my personal issues causing some drama here. I had no intentions of that.

I also did not mean to make TOTJO seem like it wasn't my "real-life". I take this seriously as it is a very important thing in my life right now and I most definitely don't think of it as role-playing. I simply couldn't find the correct phrasing for what I would really like to say. As Alex said it is a feeling, and feelings lose meaning when you try and put words to them.

I am wholly sincere when I come on to TOTJO and speak(type). I do not become another person and I am most definitely not putting on some kind of act. That isn't what this is about. I'm fairly certain that most of the others I've spoken to here, with a few exceptions, are the same way and are very sincere with their thoughts and opinions on here. There is a reason however that so many others like myself don't feel complete when simply being online. There is something about actually being with another human being that cannot be replaced. Long distance relationships seldom work, and that isn't just for romantic relationships either. People need face to face contact to feel fulfilled. I personally do not want to delve into why or how because that isn't what this is about. I just feel a need to be with the people I hold in such high esteem here at TOTJO. I have read posts from some very thoughtful people and will read many more, but no matter what I do here I will never really know any of them as well as I would like. And as for the "Ice Cream Social" reference I saw there, don't discredit the idea before you really think about it. A very wise person once said, "You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation." (It was Plato by the way)

I agree for sure that being able to meet with members of TOTJO in person would be awesome as it is semi-difficult to truly learn about a person through the internet. I can read various posts, comment on things and have a series of disconnected strangely spread out conversations with the members here but I would find it difficult to find a member of the temple here who could also be a part of more of my life and be a true friend. I feel as though I'm missing out on a wonderful opportunity to really know the people whose thoughts and feelings I'm reading from afar. This is the dis-connectivity I'm speaking of. I suppose I just long for a like-minded group of people that understand what it is I'm doing here. I'm sure that there are many people here at the temple I could be great friends with if different time zones and large distances didn't keep us limited to simply happening to read another post on a website if they post things frequently.

I guess I'm just being kinda whiny and this is probably something that has been said time and time again, but i felt like voicing my opinion. If you think I'm being silly and that you have a very simple solution to this then feel free to attempt to explain things to me, I would be more than happy to hear, though I will offer my opinion anywhere I don't understand or simply disagree. Thank you all for reading and caring.

May the Force be with you

I don't think you're being whiny at all, in fact I have to admit that occasionally I feel the same way. Discovering a group of people who share you're beliefs and interests is a wonderful thing. Finding your "tribe" is incredibly reassuring. The issue is that this tribe doesn't translate into real world interaction, and its easy to sit with your real world friends and occasionally feel like there is a whole part of you that they don't understand and you cant really share because they aren't in the same head space. Its tempting to cut off one group or the other, but that wont create the balance you're looking for.

I occasionally feel very disconnected as I am very much a people person and I thrive on actually contact with people, it is hard but Skype is certainly going a long way towards filling the gap. As well as having at least one offline person to discuss my jedi studies with. (though I think I'm lucky in that regard)

I don't think you're alone in this regard Raikoutenshi, you just need to experiment until you find a way that works for you.

Thank you Brenna, very much. It is comforting to see that someone does understand. I suppose a good place to start would be seeing If an active member of my life will see Jediism with the same level of respect I do. I suppose you hit the nail on the head, I would like a person in my day to day life who understands my beliefs and whom I can talk to face to face about it.

You are very kind and have helped ease my trepidation, I greatly appreciate this.

That can really help. And I think you'll find you can actually discuss the principals and concepts with people quite easily if you don't use the word Jedi. I think you'd be surprised at how open to it people can be

This I can understand, people get so hung up on the word Jedi. I do kinda feel like I'm hiding it from others when I leave out the word Jedi though. As if I'm ashamed of it, when I'm definitely not. I just have difficulty getting others to open their minds to the possibilities sometimes so they can see what I see for themselves. I suppose not using the word Jedi isn't a big deal, as long as I don't change any of what I believe in describing it however.