Tips on clearing my head ??

Ok, so, as some of you may already know i have been going through really painful relationship/emotional time recently and I really need some help clearing my head of this girl. Any tips ?? I have no time for meditation and when I do she just appears in my thoughts and I remember her as though we're kissing and as though she's that close to me. I just can't get her out of my head and I want to forget her as much as I can. Thanks guys.

Time.

Kindness, to yourself and to her.

There's no silver bullet. Some things just suck. You're going o be ok, my friend.

Yep, time. It's honestly the only surefire cure. But there are things you can do to help ease your heart while waiting for time to do his work.

When I was in a similar situation, I would try to keep myself busy and distracted. I did things that made me happy. If you want to meditate, you can do it other ways aside from sitting quietly - sometimes I meditate by walking or crafting.

And also, talk. Find someone (or someones) to talk to. It can help you sort out and organize your feelings. Just the catharsis of talking it out can help resolve some negative feelings sometimes.

And take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. And if you're not capable of that, find a friend or family to do it for you.

Pain like this is inevitable in life. It's going it happen whether we want it to or not. But it won't last forever. Just as happy times must end, so must sad times. And remember, you're not alone....

My inbox is always open if you need someone to talk to.

Stop trying to clear your head. The mind grasps or releases. It never pushes away.

If you try to fight what is in your head, you are only focussing on it more. Learn to sit with your discomfort. Place your attention where you want it, but know that this stuff will be lurking around anyway.

It sucks when things hurt. Suffering ends when we learn to come to terms with how things hurt and stop needing to change reality. This is going to take the time it takes.

You're not alone.

A quote which has helped me through similar experiences:

'The cure for the pain is the pain.' Rumi

Go say hi to another girl you find attractive.

Rickie wrote: Go say hi to another girl you find attractive.

There's the old saying that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. LOL I will say that while it can be effective it might not always be the healthiest solution. So long as you keep your wits about you there's no harm in testing the waters to see if you're ready to move on though. Many times you're ready before you think you are.

And as everyone else has said, time heals.

I also agree with Cabur that too much time spent focusing on the problem only makes it worse. Focus on other things. One of the Jedi Tenets is Focus and part of that is being wise (another Tenet) enough to know (and Tenet number 3 shows up) what to focus on.

tzb wrote: A quote which has helped me through similar experiences:

'The cure for the pain is the pain.' Rumi

Oh, and this just reminded me of a small part from the Joseph Campbell lessons in the IP. I don't remember which episode it is when he says it but he says something to the effect of love creates a wound that can only be cured by love.

this first part is kind of philosophical but its true for life in general: accept the reality of pain and suffering as unavoidable condition of life
instead of trying to avoid pain and suffering, focus on making yourself durable

build a life that you are proud to live, even though it will include suffering
a life that justifies itself and doesnt require any other other person

if youre drifting around and wasting your time and not doing anything worth a fart, then at an emotional level youre going to need someone else to make your life worth living; you will be clingy and needy and weak, and good women despise those qualities in men

have an awesome life and they'll come to you because your life is awesome!

loss of someone who is really close and with whom a deep and genuine personal bond has been developed over long amounts of time is very difficult, no matter what

the feelings of failure and inadequacy that accompany rejection can (to a great degree) be overcome by having a sincere life-focus, and by getting romantically involved with someone else

but not just someONE else, if its only one person then we usually attach to that one and repeat the same mistakes we made with the first one

this is not P.C. but its true anyway, date and have sex (if you were having sex with the previous girl, if not, its not important) with several other people in the next couple weeks and months, and its very likely that you'll feel way better about your life

immediate advice would be to stay busy and focus on building up your skills and capabilities and resources, and seeing other girls

more abstract:

who is taking care of you?
do you need others to take care of you and provide for you, or can you take care of yourself?
if you cant take care of yourself, do you have a plan to be able to eventually?
can you take care of others?

are you fit?
being fit is pretty attractive, whatever your gender or orientation

what are you doing with your life?
what does it mean to you to be an awesome person?
what does it mean to have a great life?
what would you have to accomplish or learn to do, or be a part of, to feel like your life was really great?

what have you done today to get there?

also, read the pdf and follow its instructions and watch the videos

thats heck of a lot better starting point for understanding attraction than anything youre gonna find on netflix or mtv

But I don't want to talk or other girls or guys. I'm in love with her. And whilst I hate her guts for what she did to me, I still love her. It's hard to explain.

Rickie wrote: Go say hi to another girl you find attractive.

I'm not suggesting sex just a pleasant experience.

But I don't want to talk or other girls or guys

Think of it as medicine. Take your medicine. Give it a try. Have a little chicken soup first.

Acceptance is one of the first steps before you can move on, acceptance of your emotions and of the situation.

Accept that you love her, and accept that you two "aren't". Accept both what has been and what has happened, and what is now. Otherwise it will be hard to let go and to move on

Don't feel bad or blame yourself for loving her either

It may also be easier to "clear your mind" then, at least i think so.

It will take time, so be patient. Spend time with your friends, do things you like etc.. So you'll hopefully have other things to think about

The 16 Teachings wrote: Jedi are wary of attachments, both material and personal. The obsession over possessions and people creates the fear of losing those possessions and relationships which can cause ourselves to be trapped in a state of depression and loss.

I've been in the same boat, Silas. Keeping this (the above teaching) in mind helped me out. I hope you resolve this more quickly than I did!

Ain't the monkey mind grand

Try askingyyourself this when the thought returns, what is the I that is having this thought, and what is this thought? Am I different from the thought and what is mynnature and the nature of the thought.

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Time really is the answer. It's easy to enjoy the time if you find someone else, but don't go full rebound.
You don't love her, you are infatuated. Love is intimacy, passion, and commitment; the passion is one sided since she obviously doesn't reciprocate your feelings.
Find someone who shares mutual attraction, then build the intimacy and commitment from that point. I've been in your same boat before, so you have my empathy.

thanks guys