Rants far and wide

*growl* You know, you tell me "we're working on it", and "You're on the radar". Or how about "I haven't heard anything but I asked." and when I get fed up with the lack of results, and I finally get driven against the wall, I went to the 1st Shirts. They came back and told me that it had slipped Leaderships' mind.... ok, I can understand that. What I can't understand is you, who is suppose to be my supervisor, who is suppose to care about me and help me, has fed me such a pack of lies and empty words. I think back and wonder when I had had a supervisor who cared. The fleeting few were around for only a year, maybe two, before retiring, separating, or PCSing.

Why is it that my training tells me that being a supervisor, being in the Air Force, is about taking care of each other, trusting each other, and yet I don't see it in practice. Is it me? I'm not the best there is, but I've worked my tail to the bone and beyond for you. What can you ask of me when there's nothing left to give? Why do I have to fight for the scraps that I have? Which gives you a view of me that isn't my first nature. My teeth are normally shown in a smile, not a snarl. I am a good and dedicated Airman. Loyal to a fault. And that was to my detriment too many times. I'm finding myself doubting every word I'm told.

I have a year and a half left on this enlistment. I'd be in almost 13 years when that's up. Seven years from retirement. And I'm at the point I'm ready to throw away my retirement pay because I don't know how much longer I can do this. My dream is to be able to be a stay-at-home mom, maybe working part time at a craft store (can we say discounts?!), and perhaps, going to school for mythology and world religion. And if I leave, I'll have to go to school instead for my trade, or I won't be able to make the money we need to maintain this lifestyle for my family... Is it worth suffering for another eight years? Could this possibly get any better?

A small tiny part of me said "Get the rank, be the supervisor you wish you had" but another part of me says "Why bother? I can't even take care of myself."

Yeah, defend poor taste when it's from one of the golden boys.

This is a church. "God" forbid we act like it.

I DO understand what you're going through, but PLEASE try to understand my position, too. I'm bound by the rules of insurance contact that your employer pays for.

Please don't yell and sob at me for 1/2 an hour straight about how I'm wrong and you're going to get a lawyer... because I'm trying to help you. If you'd stop crying and yelling, I could talk you through exactly what you need to do so that I can accept your claim. I even told you that your claim was likely acceptable...I'm just missing a few pieces.

You don't see it, but after that call, I cry too. There's only so long a person can be calm and compassionate and patient when being blasted with your rage and emotional turmoil....

It's frustrating how often people who believe the world is against them fail to notice they're just as much, if not more, against it.

The more and more things you want to be able to do online (banking wise) the more you open yourself up for fraud and Identity theft, so when I tell you that some things have to be done in person I am doing it for your protection. Yes, oh woe is you, you have to actually leave your house and be physically near another human being.

Allergies.... because really?! On your one day off for 15 days.... really?! Allergies you suck....


That is all.

(I had a rant. but, I can't bring myself to type it. I'll just use this moment to be aware of how I feel)
I'm feeling angry.
I'm feeling agitated.
I allowed someone to put me in a position for me to bruise my own feelings, Because i know bruising theirs is not the action that is productive to my growth.
The hard part about "Taking the high road" is driving up hill and still having to tow the other persons broken down vehicle behind yours.
(I almost cracked a smile)
(I am feeling the build of emotional relief)

No rant.. perhaps just despair at something.. not knowing.. not speaking.. ugh. What do you do when you're too afraid to even form the words?

Common Courtesy and Etiquette. There is a certain way you do things, being offensive based on social agenda's is inappropriate and rude. Class folks. Style....Aint no one has it anymore more these days.

I haven't gotten out of bed in two days. major depression is a jerk and needs to come back some other time...