Just for Laughs

3:25

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6VCnYkNYLo

from the internets

why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

what do people in china call their good plates?

when an escalator breaks down does it become stairs?

how do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

why do i constantly return to the refrigerator with the hope that something new will materialize?

does a lightening rod on top of a church show lack of faith?

what is another word for thesaurus?

if a kid tells a dirty joke in sign language does his mother make him wash his hands?

how many people thought up the idea of the post it note before it was invented but just didnt have anything to jot it down on?

https://youtu.be/PQHPYelqr0E

Now, I wish I could watch these vids on my 'droid phone... will hafta check again on me laptop, once home... but on a side note;

If you melt dry ice and swim in it, d'ya get wet?
If you're in a space ship, traveling at the speed of light, and then you flip on your headlights, what happens next? (l actually figured this out - ask me, if you feel like your brain needs a good cringing lol)
WHY do they call them "fingers", if they don't *fing*??

WHY do they put a freshness date on SOUR cream... is it gonna go BETTER??

And hey... did y'all know that a duck's quack is the only thing thus far known to Mankind that does not echo?

Since we're asking questions...

Why are they called "Apartments" if they are stuck together?
Where does Aquaman go to use the restroom?
If a crime fighter fights crime, what do freedom fighters fight?
Can an atheist get insurance against Acts of God?
How come we never hear about "gruntled" employees?
Why do you drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?
If "quitters never win", how can you "quit while you're ahead"?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

And finally... If a man speaks his opinion all alone in the woods and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong? :laugh:

YOU ARE ALL AWESOME!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_02E4xgoLY4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wuo9pRn-RPI

if you ever get cold try standing in the corner for a while
theyre usually ninety degrees

why cant ray charles see his friends?
because hes married

why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
because theyre really good at it

i could really see myself in a job cleaning mirrors

two fish are in a tank
one is driving and the other is moving the cannon


Last Christmas We Bought A Fake Christmas Tree. The guy behind the counter said “Are you going to put it up yourself?”
My dad said, “Don’t be disgusting. I’m going to put it in the living room.”

A man opens his front door and sees a snail on his front step. The man takes the snail and throws it across the road.
A year later, the same man opens the same door to find the same snail on the same step. The snail looks up at him and hollers, “What the **** was that all about!?”

hellen keller walks into a bar
then a table
then a chair

my granpa has the heart of a lion
and hes never allowed back in the zoo

whats the stupidest animal in the jungle?
the polar bear

do you have holes in your shoes?
how did you get your feet into them?

two cows are standing in a field
the first cow says "hey did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease?"
the second cows says "its a good thing im flying this helicoptor"

the lord said "come forth and recieve eternal life"
john came fith and got a toaster


times like these i wish i had listened to my mother
what did she say?
i dont know, i wasnt listening

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QxxD47NUaI

Total Eclipse of the Heart - Literal version
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsgWUq0fdKk

Concept music videos of the 80's were actually pretty weird

these guys are livin on the edge

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgrOHOvLxk8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MWZxmDWYqg

Warning, not for the easily offended...

my message to everyone is HAPPY THANKSGIVING

let me put my last posts into context

https://www.templeofthejediorder.org/forum/Jediism/112203-a-message

Streen wrote:
Relan Volkum wrote:

You can tell them they need to wake up and separate themselves from the
religious fanatic cult [ostensibly he means totjo] now before it gets even more serious. The terms they
have used for years are going to be further manipulated for another's gain.
Their creator is not in charge anymore. It's going to go the path of
pedephilillia. Mark my words.

---

in case anyone is uncertain, i am not advocating pedophilia

i am, humorously (so i thought), responding to the charge of it

if this is an inappropriate response then i guess i dont know what appropriate is - i felt it was an inappropriate message to begin with, that totjo was "going to go the path of pedephilia"


and my answer to that message was that "pedephilia" is a big word for a twelve year old

the implication being that the original message was extremely juvenile, and should not be taken seriously

i sincerely applaud those who showed tolerance and patience towards the original message that you are all pedophiles, and my condolences to all who were offended at MY message that it was a ridiculous thing to say

Q: Why do Doctors make the best Jedi?

A: Because a Jedi must have patience.

-rimshot-

Q : Why nobody laugh at the jokes of the Jedi Stand up comedian ?
A: His jokes were to Forced

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2J-mcVT1PH4

"How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife?"

"Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I'm a mile away and I have his shoes"

"I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."

---

i sense trouble!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZViOEv90dI

* I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.

* I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

* Standing in the park, I was wondering why a Frisbee gets larger the closer it gets. Then it hit me

* I like Jesus but he loves me, so it's awkward

http://indy100.independent.co.uk/article/28-of-the-funniest-one-line-jokes--b1GUUDnDKZZ