How to Find Out If Your Penis Is a Normal Size

The biggest concern I see with this is the anxiety associated with the perception. Men seem to feel it is either too big or never big enough. It usually starts at puberty and may have lasting and long term anxiety, depending on the person and social experiences.

Regardless of anatomical size, male behavior in bathrooms and locker rooms can show that there can be uncertainty, anxiety and self consciousness.

Some men will use stalls rather than a urinal, some move right up to the urinal to "block" anyone from viewing (also note they have added privacy walls on urinals to help with this), when I first joined the military and have to take a group shower with 100 men. Having to give a urine sample with someone having to "watch the flow leave the body".

All of these situations can cause serious anxiety issues. None of those situations are even about sexual performance which can cause a whole new level of anxiety and doubt.

Most of the time, we do not want to discuss the topic at all and talking about it can cause even more issues especially if we do not choose our words carefully. The frustration can become overwhelming for both partners and it can seem that you cannot say the right thing to make someone feel better.

Society also seems to put an emphasis on size and with jokes and statements like: "Size does or doesn't matter."

Nakedness as a whole can be very uncomfortable and make us feel vulnerable, especially in a society that pushes a certain look, weight or size.

I have found where my own personal stigmata has come from. Being able to remove the taboo helps see why I thought the way I did.
Personally it was a adolescent fear that the longer I kept quiet and dormant at that adolescent level it grew into fear, silly fear I now know. I learned a man... a person can add value every place where condition and fear rule... here too! Here especially for the male mind. This too we can change if we so choose, the inferiority complex. It is not hand or part that is human bit the heart. I give very few people the ability to charge their silly beliefs on me... this is one. I hope others men and women can see the profit from taking charge of them selfs and knowing what they believe and feel. Conditions can be broken, even re written...even here! Especially here Maybe the Living Force be with all who have posted and those who will! Thank u Temple!

ok this is my serious post lol

theres nothing you can do to change your size, so the awkwardness of locker rooms and barracks and jailhouses is just something youre going to have to deal with if/when you find yourself in any of those places

what you can do is make a genuine effort to find out what it means to be a good man (or just "a good person" if you prefer) and work to become that

you can do your best to understand attraction, and you can learn what makes for great sex, because there are specific things that can improve sexual chemistry and sexual performance

you can be a high quality person, and an attractive person (which are much related) and a very good partner and a very good lover, even if your size alone is not "impressive"

i dont want to say that size is irrelevant, but theres a lot more to a man than just what you can learn from a ruler, and if you have it in those places, youre OK

Well said ob! I concur and support that idea! I am evidence as are many here! Be well!

The instinct to compete in the male dominance hierarchy probably underlies the non-sexual anxiety around man bits. In simple terms people don't want to be labelled by things which they cannot control, because it takes away a bit of their freedom.

Appearing more masculine to prop up ones self confidence by trying to act more masculine, and lets face it how we act is an effort coming from a place of how we feel sometimes more then from a place of deliberate design. I'd say a blend most usually, but that might help define those on the lower half of the confidence scale, perhaps.

Short montage of interesting lecture bits about dominance hierarchy and how strongly it impacts us;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMpEyFeLZkU
By Jordan B Peterson, from the longer full video here
But I guess evolution is moving forward out of the old foundations. We just need to be mindful about what 'forward' means....

well that will take us into another realm, but basically i would say that dominance is determined by a multitude of factors, and penis size is relatively low on the list

from what i understand, there is research to suggest that if the size of anything determines dominance, it is the size of the jaw bone, though facial dominance in humans is more than JUST jaw bone size

i would guess also the hips or rib cage MAYBE but that would be my guess and i dont know that there has ever been research on that

also it is interesting to note that some societies like horses, some orcas, and maybe most revelatory for us, BONOBOS , are matriarchal

in which case, dominance is definitely more complicated than only physical power

but in human groups, i would say that penis size is more of a bragging right than a definite indicator of dominance

there is an elevation of social status for being well endowed, and women certainly do find it attractive, and there is a higher degree of sexual opportunity available - if everything else is relatively equal

but the owner of the restaurant can almost always get more of the waitresses than the dishwasher can

and you can earn a reputation as a good lover even if you arent especially big

and if anything really really serious ever happens, who do people listen to and who do you most want to have around: the guys who actually can handle the situation, whatever it might be

and that probably isnt going to have anything to do with whats in his pants, other than his wallet, cell phone, car keys, or firearm

i have not seen any indication, from research or from anecdotal observation, that penis size actually predicts sufficient resources or competence in any non sexual realm

and I THINK that dominance in non human primates is primarily associated with the qualities of physical power, intelligence, boldness, and social acuity

i dont know what the precise order of that is and i am definitely not an expert, but across the span of primates that i have read about (chimps, gorillas, baboons, vervet monkies and rhesus monkies) those qualities seem to be pretty consistent, and i definitely see this in humans as well, with an addition

we (humans) also determine through vocational status: positions of prestige, authority, and high salary

bill gates > judge > lawyer > police officer > electrician > line cook > cashier at wal-mart > homeless

and this is not just in attracting a mate: those positions have actual (aka to some degree measurable) social power aka dominance, associated with them

so when it comes to social dominance, my guess is that there are bigger considerations than penis size

I would like to point out as a woman, I fall in love and am attractive to men, never knowing the size of their penis.
Funny thing for me is, I probably wouldn't be aware if you were not normal (as such)
I understand men can be insecure about this, same as women with other areas, but trust me as long as everyone is satisfied with sex and there are positions and other ways to fulfil on both sides, it isn't your penis I am with.
It's the whole person.

This
there is an elevation of social status for being well endowed, and women definitely do find it attractive

may be true in some cases but on the whole, me and my girl friends, talk more about if you make us laugh, are loyal and yes about sex. But not the size or shape of your penis. Men seem to be all about this.

this
and you can earn a reputation as a good lover even if you aren't especially big
yes!!

Akkarin wrote: The post was not intended to be tacky. There is a strong cultural trend relating the size of one's penis to the extent of one's manhood and by association self-worth. If there is mature and helpful discussion to be had on a topic then we should not shy away from its discussion. Indeed the very taboos surrounding this subject is one of the reasons I chose to post it, taboos which harm self-image are challenged through open, frank and mature conversation.

I look up to you being able to post these kind of subjects, Akkarin. Personally it is way beyond my comfort zone..

elizabeth wrote: I would like to point out as a woman, I fall in love and am attractive to men, never knowing the size of their penis.
yes!!

I think it's more about comparing with each other more than it's about being "enough" for women.

But it's a good point. We don't go around demanding to see the goods before we get to know a guy.

Miss_Leah wrote:

elizabeth wrote: I would like to point out as a woman, I fall in love and am attractive to men, never knowing the size of their penis.
yes!!

I think it's more about comparing with each other more than it's about being "enough" for women.

But it's a good point. We don't go around demanding to see the goods before we get to know a guy.

Both, is it enough to satisfy (whether its relevant or not to her might be incidental to how the male perceives its importance) and how does it compare to others (who is a potential sexual competitor if I aint satisfying her), and that it can continue on during a relationship.

I remember sitting around getting drunk with some mates on evening when I was in my late teen's and one of them said out of the blue, so what do you guys think of penis envy....... we should not of all laughed as hard as we did, but
:lol:
Seemingly equally suspecting that he meant the male version, not the quasi-misogynist Freudian theory. It's just he asked it so sincerely :whistle:

Edit; on reflection, none us probably knew of the Freudian theory...

I have been through a world of experiences where I was in positions that all was on display. And a lot of what I worried about depended a lot on my personal self-image at the time. When I was younger I believed that I was quite handsome… a lady killer so to say, and so I did not worry about it when I lived in a nudist colony. When I joined the military, I was nervous about how I would “add up” to the other men I was around. Young men can be quite cruel if you happen to be the odd man out. But I noticed, that all the guys seemed to be rather concerned with this and tended towards a level of… I can’t think of a word, but no one “strutted their stuff” so I figured this was a common concern and left it alone. As I got older and life taught me more about how the world really works, I noticed that in the pecking order of male dominance it was more about perceived masculinity as most guys have almost a homophobic fear of looking at another guy’s penis to see who is actually bigger. When it came to women, it seemed that as long as I “did well” and they were happy then it was all good and it seemed that I wasn’t being compared with other guys, so it didn’t really matter there either.

Long story short… when I hit puberty, sure I had the same concerns that all others guys seem to have. But as my self-image developed and I grew old and wiser I found out that it does not matter as much as I may have thought it did at first. This also helped me to have decent confidence and a more solid self-image. Rather women, or others guys care to admit, guys worry about things that many would publicly admit to being dumb or unimportant. But not having these things sorted in a young man’s life can lead to long term issues and ultimately problems with how they relate to others, of both sexes, and the relationships they build.

I am glad we are having this discussion and hope that some share stories or related events that our younger, and some older members, may read and gain assurances from.

Wescli Wardest wrote: I am glad we are having this discussion and hope that some share stories or related events that our younger, and some older members, may read and gain assurances from.

I'm a fan of kink and bondage.

Miss_Leah wrote: ...We don't go around demanding to see the goods before we get to know a guy.

You bring up an interesting point. I believe Louis C.K. phrased it like this:


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In all seriousness, though, the only time I've ever heard of someone other than the owner of the penis in question putting importance on the size of it is when said person is just looking for a good time and not an actual relationship. Just my 2¢.

Wescli Wardest wrote: I am glad we are having this discussion and hope that some share stories or related events that our younger, and some older members, may read and gain assurances from.

If we're gonna share stories for assurance purposes, here's mine:

I'm a woman who has what I believe is a fairly average level of sexual experience.

...scratch that, I looked it up and apparently, it's higher than average

And I can tell you with all honestly that out of about 15 partners over the course of my 31 years, only two were so big that it was noticeable (9+ inches) and one was so small that it was noticeable (2-ish inches). All the rest, whether they were statistically average or not, were a size that didn't affect the quality of sex so much as overall sexual skill did - size didn't even register as a factor.

The guy who was very small..Now, while he small enough to register as such in my mind, had an enthusiasm and eagerness to please that made the experience great fun. So really, personality trumped size.

And out of the two that were "too big": one just happened to be into SM/dominance and pushing the limits of pain/pleasure - and he was good at it - so it all kind worked in his favour. The other though, was just plain awful. He assumed that size was all he needed and had no concept of sexual finesse or that fact that he needed to make any effort at all to ensure the pleasure of his partner.

So really, in my personal experience (and I did the actual math, lol), 80% of time time, size wasn't a factor at all (skills was); 13% of the time, size was a factor, but skill trumped it; and only 7% of the time, size was an actual handicap (and even then, mostly due to ignorance)

While I can't help you lads when it comes to male "in-fighting" over size, I can certainly tell you that most of the time, we'll judge you on your skills as a lover (which are very easy to learn, btw) and not the size of your penis.

Akkarin wrote:

Wescli Wardest wrote: I am glad we are having this discussion and hope that some share stories or related events that our younger, and some older members, may read and gain assurances from.

I'm a fan of kink and bondage.

Who isn't?

I imagine that one of the reasons it seems to be a concern to “guy” is because sex is such a prevalent part of our society. Whether anyone else has considered it, I can see how the common place of sex has put a sense of “worth” of physical attributes and not so much end product or outcome.

Let me have a sec and I will try to explain from a guy’s possible point of view or thought process. We see sex, or sexy people or are told what is attractive. In fact, we are all bombarded by this all throughout the day. It has been discussed several times in different forums and Medias how photo shopping models and the use of sex for advertising has had a detrimental effect on the development and psyche of young women. This results in unhealthy self-images and practices where young, and some older women, try to achieve unreachable goals of beauty. It also effect young men negatively. We are also taught that value is in physical attributes. Size does matter!?!? Young men tend to be told that large breast are more attractive then smaller ones. In some social groups a large rear is way better than a tiny one, and in others it is reversed to the point you wonder how the woman has the butt muscles to walk. It’s quite ridiculous in my opinion.

So these “guys” are taught what is attractive and of course they talk amongst themselves… and young, uneducated minds are so easily influenced. So they chase after what is supposed to be attractive and in return, try to impress the ones they are pursuing by being that “ideal” guy. And in a twisted way, they figure that if larger breasts are “in demand” then it merits that larger penises would be sought. How many people have gone down the aisle where men’s underwear is sold? Some of those models look like they have two squires fighting in their shorts! To a young, just hitting puberty guy, this can be an impossible dream to aspire to.

And I think one of the things that makes it worse is that we are not comfortable talking about it. So we make jokes… like women should get to see the penis as a prerequisite to dating. I think that for most guys that would be a horrifying experience.

Some guys boast a sense of false bravado in efforts to disguise their insecurities. Which has been what seems to be an effective way of dealing with it instead of talking about it. If one is questioned of his masculinity the other will offer to show it if they want to “know for sure.” Then, either the guy backs down or calls the bluff. If the bluff is called then the other calls him a faggot for wanting to see his junk. Thus securing his place of male dominance. And as a side effect, programming other guys to shun homosexuals and breeding intolerance and prejudice.

It seems to all be a vicious cycle revolving around keeping people from being uncomfortable facing the actual issues… not getting things out in the open and discovering the truth.

And women, no matter what the advertisements say or show, I will be the first to tell you that men are just happy you give us a chance! Small, large, lopsided… we do NOT care. I would venture to guess that 99.9% of straight men are just thrilled when we are at the point in a relationship where we get to see them. Playing with them is a freaking bonus! :ohmy: :woohoo: Sorry, that was kind of crude. But completely true. And no matter what guys tell you, they really have no idea what they’re doing until you teach them. So talk to them. Tell them. Otherwise they will continue to fumble around, clueless, and no one wins then.

Wescli Wardest wrote: And no matter what guys tell you, they really have no idea what they’re doing until you teach them. So talk to them. Tell them. Otherwise they will continue to fumble around, clueless, and no one wins then.

I can't tell you how important this is, but it also goes for women. Communication = you know what each other likes = better sex = infinite pleasure. There's nothing better than a little hand-on experience. Yeah, you'll start out being a noob, but the learning curve (or, "learning curves", if you will *snicker*) is in your favour.

Miss_Leah wrote: While I can't help you lads when it comes to male "in-fighting" over size, I can certainly tell you that most of the time, we'll judge you on your skills as a lover (which are very easy to learn, btw) and not the size of your penis.

The entertainment value of this thread is almost equal to the knowledge value, lol...

Im glad we arent too stiff in our conversations....

Oh, ALSO,

The size of a man's penis when it comes to sex is often completely subjective because women's vaginal canals vary greatly in size/shape as well. And just like penises, the size of the woman does not correlate to the size of her vagina.

Jestor wrote:
The entertainment value of this thread is almost equal to the knowledge value, lol...

Im glad we arent too stiff in our conversations....

well its a hard topic to get a handle on, but so far the community has been up to it