Parents Religion and Respect

22 Nov 2014 06:32 - 22 Nov 2014 06:35 #171040 by Cyan Sarden

steamboat28 wrote:

Jamie Stick wrote:

Anyanwu wrote: So my parents are Fundamentalist Pentecostal Christians. :laugh:

Same. We should compare notes sometime.

Can we just start a club?

As for the concerns you mentioned, Anyanwu, I was in mostly the same position when I started exploring other paths myself. I don't know how much I have to offer you in the way of advice (I am still, actually, Christian...just not the kind that's common at all), but I know that if you give it a think, you'll decide what is best for you for right now. That may be coming "clean" about it, that may be continuing as you are and soaking up what that environment can teach you, it may mean lots of things. But the answer's in you somewhere; we're just available for you as a sounding board anytime you need it. :)

I'm 37 and I'm still somewhat in that position. I come from a Christian family in which religion has always been a marginal topic. We basically never talked about it, we didn't have any kind of Christian symbols in our house. I do hold some of the Christian core values very dearly. Yet, I went from being agnostic to being Buddhist to being a Jedi (and yes, I consider this to be my religion now). I never really talked about this to my parents. My wife knows, obviously, but apart from that, I'm keeping things private. We had our son baptized two years ago, because we wanted to enable him to have a choice when it comes to religion later in his life. And we wanted him to get into the same system of basic values I had grown up into. We didn't really think twice about it - I even had to re-join our state church for it as they wont baptize children of non-believers. The problem is that when it was time to make the decision whether to baptize our second child or not, I had started to become opposed to how many Christians interpret their mythology. We thought a bit about how our parents think about things and we eventually decided that we'd go through with it a second time, for the sake of harmony in the family. During the process, and especially the talk with the pastor, I knew in my heart that it was a bad call. It was too late at that time - the baptism went through, I felt (and still feel) terrible about lying in a place of worship (I said "yes" when I was asked in front of the congregation whether I'd ensure I'd give my daughter a Christian upbringing) and I spent the entire service comparing what I was hearing to what I believe. I decided that I'd never go to church service again unless for social necessities (funerals, weddings, basically). After the baptism I came clear towards my parents. I didn't tell them I'm a Jedi but I told them that I don't believe in the church's interpretation of Christian mythology. They didn't take that well. I don't know if it was because of the way I said it (I was somewhat upset by the baptism service) or because of what I said. In any case, ever since then, I've had the feeling that something's broken between us. At the same time, I feel somewhat liberated. I just couldn't keep up the charade. I'm hoping things will normalize again.

Do not look for happiness outside yourself. The awakened seek happiness inside.
Last edit: 22 Nov 2014 06:35 by Cyan Sarden.
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22 Nov 2014 15:17 #171088 by SilverWolf
I can relate to Cyan's situation as well,

I am 44 years old,

90% of my family is Irish catholic, I was brought up in a bapist church, and baptized in a pentcostal church in alexandria, LA because I had never been baptized before and "thought" it was the right thing to do at the time. I was wrong. I felt uncomfortable there, other people started judging me because I did not speak in tongues yet and could not understand my reserved nature. I believe in christianity and I have an open mind to all religions as well. However, as far as religion and christianity is concerned, you can believe in God ANYWHERE, because he is ANYWHERE. You don't HAVE TO BE IN A CHURCH. Going to church is nice for the sense of community, but you have to feel comfortable there and like you belong or it will not work. When I met Rachel, a woman I consider my wife in everyway possible that matters, she was already "on paper" married. her husband was an....well, lets just say he was not a nice guy and did not care about her like i did. Despite her being married "on paper" we lived our lives as if we were married. We had a wonderful son together that we named "Aiden-Gabriel" and we went to the local church to get him "just prayed over" not baptized, just a short "I bless this child so he may grow up protected by the Lord". There were no pastors within a 50 mile radius who would do it. I thought it unfair because children of any age are a blessing. So after searching for a church to go to in the state that I live in which is Georgia, and not finding one I then joined here. I feel more at peace here. As far as your parents threatening to kick you out because you are suposedly leading your sister astray I say these things and I'm using my "common english" bible on this " Do not Judge or you too will be judged. For in the same way you will judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you" Matthew 7 verses 1 and 2 . ( kings James translation "Judge not ye be not judged". I was raised disabiled, I was born with mild epilepsy and mild cerebal palsy in my left side. I walk with a limp and I have maybe 30% mobility in my left side. My parents "could have" given me away and tried again for a more "normal" child, but they didn't. They loved me and still love me regardless. I believe that parents should love their children no matter what path they decide. I agree 100% with Cabur though, if you need us, reach out to us we are here for you.
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22 Nov 2014 19:28 #171119 by steamboat28

SilverWolf wrote: as far as religion and christianity is concerned, you can believe in God ANYWHERE, because he is ANYWHERE. You don't HAVE TO BE IN A CHURCH.

This is one of those things that was really hard for my family to understand when I stopped attending our local church. My faith hasn't waned; it's actually gotten stronger. But I don't practice the way they practice anymore, and I have a hard time being around a lot of the issues I have with that particular congregation. The combination of the doctrine, the people, and the nonsense was too much to bear. I heard lots of things like "backslider" and "heathen" from strangers (well, former churchmates who I didn't personally know, but recognized me), and "when are you coming back to church?" My response to the last one was usually a variation on "When God shows up there, too."

But my family kept insisting you have to go to church to worship properly. "It says so in the Bible! Forsake not the assmeblin' of yerselves together! And iron sharpens iron!" Yeah. The Scripture says both of those things. But if you look in context, both of them are social benefits of the church; people are stronger when they have other people to help them through rough patches. And I can get that anywhere. And then there's "where two or three are gathered together in My name, there am I also," which means that me and a friend playing video games on Friday night discussing the nature of the universe and our place in it still totally counts.

The insistence of anyone that you have to go to a certain place or to do a certain thing is nonsense. No matter your religious doctrine, you are your own priest when it comes to your life. You may accept another priesthood over yours, but ultimately, you are the doorway, the arbiter of your faith. Any religion that tells you that you are closed off from the divine and cannot ask of it is a religion that has no concept of truth.
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