Anger and revenge urges

20 May 2017 02:20 #284630 by Ghost warrior
Ghost warrior created the topic: Anger and revenge urges
I need guidance in this matter some people close to me have really wrong me. I'm trying to let it go. I'm​ really needing some tips on anger.
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20 May 2017 02:34 #284631 by Arisaig
Arisaig replied the topic: Anger and revenge urges
My advise, through much guidance from people around the Temple and advise I've seen given here, it is to simply step back and regroup.

Take a step back from the situation and look at it objectively. How bad is it really, in the grand scheme of things? Is this wrong worth more than your friendship to you? If not, forgive and move on. If it is, perhaps you must consider cutting a toxic ties with these people.

Of course, that is a last resort method. This wrong would have to be so extreme that you see no reason to be with them anymore, sacrificing your friendship and bond.

To regroup would also mean to gather information about the event, not just your side of the story, but theirs as well. Ask them why they did it. Be kind, be gentle. "A gentle answer turns away wrath". Don't assume their motivations, ask them, see if it was just misconstrued by you, and make the decision to forgive them or move on.

As for anger, I can say once more what I've already said. The above method works wonders in most situations.

And then for revenge, your need for revenge can be fuelled by your anger at yourself. Are you angry at yourself? Why do you feel it justified to take revenge for this?

A Jedi knows when to act and when not to. Take a step back, think, and move forward.

May the Force be with you either way you go.
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20 May 2017 02:35 #284632 by OB1Shinobi
OB1Shinobi replied the topic: Anger and revenge urges
Youll have to be more specific: who are they, what did they do, and what are you thinking?

You can PM if you prefer- but public discourse allows for multiple perspectives which can be good for producing wider range of plausible ideas

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20 May 2017 02:47 #284633 by JamesSand
JamesSand replied the topic: Anger and revenge urges
Do you actually have the ability and resources to carry out your desired revenge / acts of anger?

If not, No problem ;)

If yes - Are the consequences worth it?

If not, No problem ;)

If Yes - ah, well I can't officially recommend revenge, so perhaps get some exercise, eat a healthy meal, see something new, and then reassess the situation?

If it still boils your blood after that, we can try talking it out?

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20 May 2017 03:06 #284634 by vladucard
vladucard replied the topic: Anger and revenge urges
We are having an issue with a member of our family that is giving us trust issues. We are doing our best to approach it in a non-confrontacial (is that a word? Lol) kind of way but he's making it hard. The best way we can get our "revenge" is to go about it the legal way. In reality, it isn't really "revenge" because that would go against the Jedi beliefs I am working on keeping, I see it as a way of getting rid of the situation without any personal feelings involved but in a way that will fix the issue once and for all.

I would say try to talk it out first and see what happens. If that doesn't help, perhaps the best thing to do is give each other space until you are able to speak about it without anger. It's hard, I know, I've been there, but trying to resolve any issue calmly will have better results.

Good luck and may the force guide you in these tough times.

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21 May 2017 18:41 - 21 May 2017 18:42 #284744 by Aqua
Aqua replied the topic: Anger and revenge urges

Ghost warrior wrote: I need guidance in this matter some people close to me have really wrong me. I'm trying to let it go. I'm​ really needing some tips on anger.


You can always PM one of the (Ordained) Clergy. Ordained Clergy are Deacons, Priests, and Bishops here. They are people of trust and great chat partners even if you are not religious. :)

~

www.templeofthejediorder.org/31-clergy/695-clergy
Last Edit: 21 May 2017 18:42 by Aqua.

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21 May 2017 19:24 #284748 by Zenchi
Zenchi replied the topic: Anger and revenge urges
I've dealt with anger my entire life, I think I can help you with that. Pm me if you need to chew...


"The point is the doing of them rather than the accomplishments. There is no actor but the action; there is no experiencer but the experience." ~ Bruce Lee

Librarian and Knight of the Order
Apprentice: Arisaig

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21 May 2017 22:16 #284763 by Rosalyn J
Rosalyn J replied the topic: Anger and revenge urges
Hiya,

Talking through the issue may assist in taking some of the bite out of it. This may assist: www.templeofthejediorder.org/sermons/236...ense-live-sermon-log

I and others are available via PM :)
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21 May 2017 23:30 #284767 by Manu
Manu replied the topic: Anger and revenge urges
I am also available to talk if you want to PM. I'm no doctor, nor expert, but I can be a friend if you feel like talking.

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