Confidant Session Form

13 Jun 2017 02:47 - 14 Jun 2017 00:11 #287438 by Rosalyn J
As it were, the TOTJO has no such thing as "Confession" because there is no sin for which we need to repent. Yet, we have a similar thing called "Confidant" which allows our members to have one on one conversations with a Clergy person under very strict guidelines of confidentiality. First, I'd like to thank Tellehane, whose wonderful idea here: sparked the conversation that led to this.

Essentially, what we would like to do is to create a form on the TOTJO which members in need of a confidant could fill out and submit. This would be forwarded to the Outreach Team and one of them would speak to said member.

Here is a quick and dirty version of what I think it might look like:


What are the pros and cons of having the forum name as one of the questions?

Also, thoughts about this?
Last edit: 14 Jun 2017 00:11 by Rosalyn J.
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13 Jun 2017 03:28 #287440 by MarVinKra
Replied by MarVinKra on topic Confidant Session Form
I think having the forum name in the form is a good start to a conversation like this. I feel that if someone is to write their name (username) it gives the participant some deeper acceptance into talking about what they need to talk about. Accepting that they need/want someone to talk to is always the first step and filling in your name, I think, can help this!

As for thoughts on this, I think its a great idea! Conversations about anything, especially about oneself, are always great to have :)
I feel some more stress on the confidentiality aspect of this would be great and some intro to the confidants might be nice to see. If the participants will be sharing parts of their life I feel it might be good for the confidants to intro themselves. Furthermore, maybe the participant can have an option to choose a confidant who is available at the time.

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13 Jun 2017 03:46 #287444 by JamesSand
Replied by JamesSand on topic Confidant Session Form
Well, it seems like the forum name is required if you intend to contact via Temple means (chat, PM, etc)

But, anonymity can be handy when talking about stressful issues, especially for the first time when you want to "sound them out" before going public .

So, I don't think it should be a *requirement*

I feel the option to be contacted anonymous via other means (I mean, the temple has my email address anyway, so hardly anonymous) should be there, if the person wants/needs it?
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13 Jun 2017 14:32 #287499 by Tellahane
Replied by Tellahane on topic Confidant Session Form
So a couple of interesting thoughts, points,.....considerations? All of this are just idea's that should be considered they don't all have to be implemented or anything like that I'm just throwing out every thought I can think of in a few minutes time!

1. A disclaimer would be very important here, and that disclaimer needs to just point out how this process will work, and most importantly what is considered confidential. The one area you want to stress in this area is that this is for venting, seeking guidance, moments of stress etc, confusion, things such as that. If someone is expressing the desire to harm life or property of another or self, that confidentiality "might" be broken, and this is probably where john needs to step in and advise, I'm not sure about UK or other countries etc, but in the US there are some states where if you don't mandatory report someone who is for example being suicidal and something does happen and there is an electronic record if someone else knowing you can be an accessory. Unless you have a nice disclaimer in place, or simply put that if we see that happening we reserve the right to contact your local emergency services to get you help or etc etc, that's all that needs to be put in place there.

2. anonymity would be nice in some cases, but hard to do, having that name in there can be helpful, if someone is using the system often its kind of nice seeing a history. So if I'm in there a lot having a lot of problems and I spend a lot of time talking to ros for example and we have a nice working history of working things out together and then suddenly ros gets sick or is unavailable for a few weeks, and I need to talk to someone without having to start over with my history, it's kind of nice if someone else in the clergy can see all of the past communications or perhaps maybe you guys can keep notes in a shared secured space somewhere(google docs perhaps) so someone else can see what all has gone on if needed so they are on the same page.

2b. On the opposite side there might be someone who wants their conversation super private to just one clergy only and that should be an option too.

2c. This also might have an importance, much like here with the temple where not every knight to apprentice relationship works you have to seek out a knight or visa versa that thinks along some of the same ideals but you can also learn a lot from. There are a few knights here I know I would not work well with in a apprenticeship, and the same thing might happen with the clergy that there is someone that I Could identify really well with I'd rather talk to then some others(not saying there is just saying as an example). So maybe having a preference of which clergy I would want to talk to in the form would be helpful or allowing anyone as a choice when its urgent.

3. A reminder on turn around time, that everyone has their own individual lives/schedules if you are needing to talk to someone right now(as in urgent) that you mark that as a checkbox or drop down, and perhaps that could trigger something so that any clergy can get in touch as soon as possible, or to wait until that clergy is available and then they can chat with that person etc.

4. A list of other common services and contact numbers by region, IE maybe a list of hotlines for the more serious things the clergy are not able or preferred not to handle such as suicide hotlines, rape hotlines other things that are not "spiritual" issues perhaps, for the US, for the UK, Australia, any national hotlines things like that as well probably couldn't hurt?

I'm not trying to say everything that will come to be the clergy will be as a dark as the above, I honestly expect it to be very rare, but just want to suggest that it's prepared for if it does happen. You guys may actually already have something like that in place and I'm not even aware of it.

-As far as the snags, I have an idea of what they are, and that is a shame, but I really like the direction your going and I'm happy my idea has helped!
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13 Jun 2017 14:45 #287501 by Senan
Replied by Senan on topic Confidant Session Form
Great idea! This could also give the Clergy a better idea of how many are seeking help and not finding it easily. We need to make sure the form is easy to find on the site, not buried in a thread somewhere. Maybe the header menu or homepage?

I know it isn't anymore confidential than a user name, but maybe give the option of using the member ID number instead? Clergy would still be able to know who it is once they look them up, but it might feel more confidential to some people knowing that it takes an extra step for someone to see a user name. I personally don't think it's necessary, but it could be a solution if others want it.

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13 Jun 2017 15:02 #287504 by Goken
Replied by Goken on topic Confidant Session Form
I am very happy that this is something that the Temple is thinking of.

As far as the forum name goes I say make it optional with a note that it is needed if the preferred contact method is via Temple PM or chat, similar to where it says to put in your Skype name if you choose that method.

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13 Jun 2017 15:26 #287507 by Nakis
Replied by Nakis on topic Confidant Session Form
I would argue that if you are willing to put it down on the confidant section, it means you are willing to discuss it. I would think that if you are posting it there, it means you want to talk, which means you need to give your name so a discussion to be had. Otherwise, there could be a "Prayers/Good Vibes" section for someone to submit without their name and just say "Hey, this is going south, can you think of me a little this week?" or a sermon could be tailored around if there is a rise of a specific issues that are submitted often to provide guidance to those who need it but are not willing to or are comfortable discussing it one on one. And I say that from the position of: "If it's the holidays and many people are feeling dejected due to not being able to see their family", a sermon on how to reconnect with families, or non-traditional families, or a sermon on how to keep the spirit up could be in order to help the spiritual health of everyone here.

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14 Jun 2017 00:35 #287556 by Rosalyn J
Replied by Rosalyn J on topic Confidant Session Form
Made some changes:

-Added a disclaimer
-Added "does this matter require the immediate assistance of a clergy person?"
-Added Member ID as an option

Here is the form as a draft:
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14 Jun 2017 01:31 #287561 by Tellahane
Replied by Tellahane on topic Confidant Session Form
I'm liking it, almost makes me consider clergy =p Is there a way to brand the page like put the totjo icon and stuff on it?

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14 Jun 2017 02:20 #287565 by JamesSand
Replied by JamesSand on topic Confidant Session Form
I guess I'm asking silly questions now...but as far as the disclaimer goes, how much does that affect anyone outside of Texas, or the USA?

Further, although Confidants operate under strict confidentiality rules, there are instances in which confidence will be broken. These include: the intent to harm yourself or others, and abuse or neglect either as victim or perpetrator. As a legal entity, we are mandated by law to report such things and will do so.

I daresay TotJO has no legal requirement to report to (say) the AFP?

If I want to talk about all the chupachups I've stolen, and how that's affecting my attempts to stick to a path of Service....well who you gunna call?

I'm in favour of the idea in principal - I want to TotJO Clergy to offer a legitimate pastoral service for people following the "TotJO Teachings"

I just don't want it to be so tied up in

A. Caveats and legal nonsense that no one really feels comfortable using it.

B. That *something* does occur, and TotJO/Jediism gets made the public scapegoat for the latest...*whatever* that someone decides to do.

Slenderman made me do it.

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