Advice needed: how to shut up.

Vesha wrote: Angry is a reaction to a threat. People who get angry easily are usually very insecure (sorry).

no need to apologize - it is what it is!

Cyan Sarden wrote: So here's the question: how do I go about it? How do I stop myself from a) talking too much and b) saying things that hurt people? Have others here dealt with this issue?
Cyan

This is so beautiful. Thank you for this and for asking for assistance. That is a wonderful step in the correct direction.

Some tips and tools are:
1. Pause - just pause when you can. Focus on listening. Ponder more. Reflect on what was just said. Repeat what was just said so you show the other person that you are listening.
2. "Stop and Reset" - every chance you get to practice this, do it. As soon as you feel these things coming up for you - Stop. Stop it. Say, "Stop". Say, "I need to stop right now and reset". Then pause. breath at least three times. Let the emotions settle down and your judgements to wash away. From this clear space - speak.
3. Meditate more. start and end your day. Affirm your plans for the day. Affirm how you want to be - today. Take as many breaks as you need to meditate. focus on being Calm, Cool, and Collected. Visualize yourself in challenging situations being the person that you want to be - the person that you are under all of this. Reset your mental patterns. Fill your thoughts of affirmations of how you want to be. Replace old patterns with new healthy ones.

Practice Listening to understand first. Draw the person out and learn as much as you can before formulating your thoughts.

baru wrote: Some tips and tools are:
1. Pause - just pause when you can. Focus on listening. Ponder more. Reflect on what was just said. Repeat what was just said so you show the other person that you are listening.
2. "Stop and Reset" - every chance you get to practice this, do it. As soon as you feel these things coming up for you - Stop. Stop it. Say, "Stop". Say, "I need to stop right now and reset". Then pause. breath at least three times. Let the emotions settle down and your judgements to wash away. From this clear space - speak.
3. Meditate more. start and end your day. Affirm your plans for the day. Affirm how you want to be - today. Take as many breaks as you need to meditate. focus on being Calm, Cool, and Collected. Visualize yourself in challenging situations being the person that you want to be - the person that you are under all of this. Reset your mental patterns. Fill your thoughts of affirmations of how you want to be. Replace old patterns with new healthy ones.

Thank you - I've been adding self-conditioning phrases and mantras to my meditation practice. I regularly do metta meditation, and I will add CCC (good one to remember) to my routine.

Making a point to take time to think before saying something I'd later regret has really helped me. I'm still developing the ideal strategy to go about this without looking weird, but I have to say that just contemplating the advice people here have given me has led to my not getting into any kind of confrontational situation over the last few weeks. Although I had an enormous amount of stress at work, I somehow managed to stay calm.