[Lesson 5] Wary of attachement

In the 16 teaching's there's this chestnut:

4. Jedi are wary of attachments, both material and personal. The obsession over possessions and people creates the fear of losing those possessions and relationships which can cause ourselves to be trapped in a state of depression and loss.

My question is, do we think there are "right" attachments, and should we celebrate them, rather than be wary of them? When I wrote on this in IP, I actually concluded there was a need to create attachments, as long as they are "right attachments".

An example might be that we should have a "right" attachment, for example to our bodies. That would been a cultivation of my relationship with it - I should feed it, exercise it, wash it; which I see as active processes. That means I can't just "be wary" of being overly attached to my body. I have to be active it promoting a "right" attachment/relationship there. Doctrine, indeed, seems to be prompting "right" attachment:

12. Jedi believe that love and compassion are central to their lives. We must love and care for each other as we must love and care for ourselves; by doing this we envelop all life in the positivity of our actions and thoughts. We are providers and beacons of hope.

... So I would be interested to hear your thoughts. Are there "right attachments" of which we should not be wary; but rather be cultivating? Have I instead just been using attachment here as a heuristic (mental shortcut) and have yet to extend my process of thinking to allow for a care of my body without risk of attachment to it?

There is a saying. You become most like the five people you spend the most time with.

Taking that into account, who do you spend the most time with? Those are attachments. They can be bad (toxic friendships, abusive relationships, people that make you doubt yourself, ect), or they can be good.

A good attachment, imo, would be like the ones I've formed here with good friends and my training master. They build me up, they're there when I'm down, and they inspire me to rise above.They remind me who I am and what I've committed my life to being, a Jedi.

Besides interpersonal relationships, we also have attachments to inanimate things. Food, for example. I LOOOOOVE burgers, but my waistline does not. So I had to sever that attachment (I still treat myself once in a while, but much less than before).

Another example would be my lightsabre. I am attached to it, I love using it. It is a healthy attachment, however, because it's helped me lose weight, get active again, and has shown me that I'm capable of things I've didn't think was possible and that I could continue to accomplish things I currently find impossible through training, practise, and patience.

Then, if we really wanna go into it, attachment to self. The ego, for example, likes to put us down, or boosts us to a point where we become destructive to those around us. Sometimes an attachment to an ideal body can be unhealthy, people injecting harmful substances into their bodies to get their dream bod. Yes, be healthy and as active as you can be, but remove the "perfect body" from your mind. Chances are you can't achieve it. If you can, go for it, but it can be discouraging and unhealthy if obsessed over.

Hope this helps.

As Jedi we aspire to love , but not get too attached to people loving us back , there is nothing wrong with love , but there is something wrong with demanding reciprocity. We can demand reciprocity in a lot of things , we can demand people to forgive us when we did wrong because we forgive so easy , and that way get too attached of what we think others should behave like , or a more recent example , my Master got insulted , i got mad , i was outraged that said individuals did not apologize to him , and them my Master put me swiftly in my place, i was behaving to attached to my idea of etiquette, not only does he not care for their apologies , he as long moved on and forgiven them , he is not attached to incidents , his focus is elswhere , his focus is on being a Jedi in all things , and that means that he is not attached.does that make sense Twigga?

I personally used this idea as I identify things in my life . Identification and attaching feelings to them can - for me - lead to stagnation. The attaching feelings when identifying is what I'm talking about here. We can all go back and find things we lack and things we didn't or identify moments where there was a change for the ... "worst" in our own eyes and it's easy to attach - blame - hate - anxiety and even fear to these moments and never move past them. To practice non attachment in this sense here is a Jedi treat. There is a freedom you can have when you notice or identify things without - an attachment .
A even more difrent approach I use is to not attach ownership or possession to things- I'm not attached to it . A very powerful and very possible " selfless" practice we can coin as a Jedi. Just the robe on my back. . . There are a number of ways Jedi use this simple teaching and each way can be as benifishal as the next. Keep seeking friend and keep finding !

Arisaig wrote: Another example would be my lightsabre. I am attached to it, I love using it. It is a healthy attachment, however, because it's helped me lose weight, get active again, and has shown me that I'm capable of things I've didn't think was possible and that I could continue to accomplish things I currently find impossible through training, practise, and patience.[/color]

Ha ha - I can 100% connect with this - I have a pair of pyjama trousers with birds on - they are the depths of ridiculous; not the kind of thing a sensible person would wear out of the house. Anyway; I Love 'em because they're stupid. I was doing a job today that I was dreading, real "I am your father, NNNnoooooooo!" style dreading; and I needed to be sure I wasn't taking myself too seriously.... So I stuck them on. Bingo - day worked a charm.

Arisaig wrote: Taking that into account, who do you spend the most time with? Those are attachments. They can be bad (toxic friendships, abusive relationships, people that make you doubt yourself, ect), or they can be good.
A good attachment, imo, would be like the ones I've formed here with good friends and my training master. They build me up, they're there when I'm down, and they inspire me to rise above.They remind me who I am and what I've committed my life to being, a Jedi.

This bit, I can see where you are coming from; but I have a conflicting philosophy which I'm possibly "more attached to" than any bit of Jedi doctrine. I am currently sticking it under my microscope though; because I even MORE strongly feel that we have a responsibility to revise our beliefs in the face of conflicting evidences!

Arisaig wrote: Remove the "perfect body" from your mind.Chances are you can't achieve it. If you can, go for it,

That is VERY interesting... I have no idea if I have a "perfect body" concept that I am I unwittingly aiming at... but it WOULD be good to have an explicit idea of a healthy and attainable strength/flexibility/endurance for a person my age/gender/neurology - I suppose that's why I got doctors on board after Jediism Essay 7! I'll ask the Neuro when he's done with measuring everything!

Thank you so much for your insights Arisaig; they were indeed helpful

I do not believe there are any attachments of which one should not be wary. Any attachment no matter how beneficial can be taken to far, can become an obsession, can lead us to fear of loss or letting go. It's not that the attachment is bad. It is merely that if we fail to be mindful of its risks we can become blind to walking down the wrong path. Basically, its when we fail to be wary that is precisely when its likely to be an issue.

For example attachment to a healthy body is well and good. But what is health? Are we attached to one idea to the point of over-exercising, or under eating, or failing to enjoy a snack now and again? Does it get taken too far to the point of making us feel bad because we are not where we want to be?

Attachment to family is one of the most nurturing and wonderful things in the world. But we all have seen the overly attached parent. The one that cant let their child be their own person, who seeks to bubble wrap the world and never let them face risk. It can lead to a toxic and unhealthy dependence on the part of the child or it can lead to resentment from one or both parties later on in life.

Heck, even attachment to something as good for you as meditation can become a problem. Do you become so attached to your meditation times that you are in a poor mood if you miss them? Do you fail to develop other tools for centering yourself due to this attachment?

In short anything no matter how good can be taken too far or blind us to other paths if we are too attached to see past the attachment or let go when the time is right. Failing to recognize this or "be wary" as the teaching reminds us to is exactly how you run into trouble.