What is it like to feel gender?

wrote:

Kwitshadie post=374270 userid=42405If you want to wear clothes of the opposite gender, more power to you. I got eyelashes as long as the Ladies but with bulky muscles; plus my height that intimidates people at times. 
Just remember that your muscular-skeletal system is built differently. Trans-Females have been getting the upper hand and winning in Female sex sports in droves as of lately; woman’s sports were to put it gently established for a reason.
Personally, it would be better to start a trans-sports division.

Yeah, no. Jedi do not support this kind of ignorance. 

They're not 'wearing clothes of the opposite gender'. they're wearing clothes that match their gender. 

After a few years on hormones, there is negligable if any 'prior advantages' left. All these cases of trans women winning sports are highlighted because of their trans identity, not because of any records being won. How many trans people have won in the Olympics, please, remind me. 

Jedi do not agree with your statement at all. Right on the front page, "In a society that does not discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation or circumstances of birth such as gender, ethnicity and national origin."

Your ignorance on the matter isn't even what this thread is about. Its about what it feels like to feel gender. Instead, you regurgitated talking points that have nothing to do with the topic at hand. You saw the word gender and let yourself become blinded to what is, rather than what you wanted to be. 
 

There's far more ignorance in this reply then the above. Claiming all "Jedi" support or don't support, agree or don't agree is a false statement. Jediism is a Syncretic belief system that meshes in many ways with many different kinds of beliefs. There is no "only way", or "one way" to believe.

That being said my personal view points favor kwitshadie, you can push all the hormones you want there are significant changes in the human body during development based of genetics that gives physiological advantages in males, over females. Biological males will always have an advantage.

I also feel the point is relevant because it does bring an interesting view point for purposes of discussion on the topic at hand. There are physiological differences and the best way to explain them is the frog in the boiled pot analogy. One may not understand what it "feels like" because they have been in the pot for many years of their life. That tends to be in flux during puberty sure, but after awhile you've always noticed a bigger bone structure, a different bone structure, different anatomy, different center of gravity, innate muscle development and strength, all from your genetics. If there was a way to magically change that, you would notice a very different feeling, such as dropping the frog into a boiling pot of water already. So one could say that having been in their physical being and shape for such a long period they may not recognize so easily how they "feel in it". Though there are likely some meditative techniques and practices that could help with re-experiencing that.

All that being said lets not be quick to assume "all jedi" believe one thing or another. I personally don't believe trans anything is healthy, but it doesn't meant I won't respect others differing beliefs and views, even within this temple on that subject. Let's stay respectful here please.

so i read this welcome packet thing that said this place was LGBT safe. 

that obviously was a lie if someone can just say a trans woman is just a man in woman's clothing playing pretend with mental issues, or vice versa, without challenge and even worse just flat out support from a knight. I will reach out to my teacher with this information. 

Wraith wrote:

so i read this welcome packet thing that said this place was LGBT safe. 

that obviously was a lie if someone can just say a trans woman is just a man in woman's clothing playing pretend with mental issues, or vice versa, without challenge and even worse just flat out support from a knight. I will reach out to my teacher with this information. 

I'm fairly convinced that's not what just happened. Your very quick to assume, and judge, and your gaslighting attempt hasn't gone unnoticed. Still, if you wish to have a discussion on it I'm more then willing, find me on the temple discord and reach out.

Yeah, Autism runs deep in my family. The University of Washington threatened to put me in an institution for my Autism as an Infant so just to fizzle out the assumptions; this was in 1996 so we’ve come along way since then.

If you want to find a way to allow Trans community to compete; and also to allow Woman to have their own sporting events so they can win as well, I’m all ears.

I remember in my Highschool that they had Men’s, Woman’s and Gender Neutral Bathrooms and I personally preferred the Gender Neutral Restrooms for their cleanliness and is an inspiration.

TheDude wrote:

I understand that there is a difference between sex and gender. Sex is physiological while gender is psychological; sex is easily recognizable while gender is internal; sex has many defined traits while gender doesn't seem to. But I've never experienced gender. I don't know what it means to "feel like a (man/woman/etc)". I suppose I'm recognized socially as a man -- though with my long hair, people have misgendered me before. I feel no urge to dress in a way specific to my sex, though I usually end up wearing "masculine" clothes since that's what family members have bought for me for my whole life. I'm not sure it means anything to "act like a (man/woman/etc)" because I see people of different sexes acting in many different ways.
So that got me thinking. I don't understand what it's like to experience gender. From where I'm standing it seems to be about stereotypes and historic gender roles. Like, you "feel like a woman" because you want to adhere to a stereotype of a woman, or you "feel like a man" because you want to fill a historically male social role. That's what appears to be happening, to me, when a person affirms their gender identity.
But outside of stereotypes (e.g. "men aren't emotional!") and gender roles (e.g. "I want to stay at home and cook and clean") I'm not aware of any observable behaviors which can be accurately deemed "gendered". And this kind of bothers me. When you say "I feel like a man" is it because you have an image in your head of what a stereotypical man is like, and you feel like that or you want to be that? Is that what is meant by gender? I see men and women perform different behaviors all the time which don't adhere to their sex stereotypes.
Is it the way they dress? Like, feeling like a woman means you want to dress in a certain way? If I wear a skirt, does it make me a woman? I've seen men and women wear all different types of clothing, so I don't think it's that.
Is it a way of thinking? Like, you think like a man, or you think like a woman? But surely you wouldn't know what it's like to think like another gender if you're not that gender? So how would anyone know they think like a man or like a woman when they have no experience in thinking like the other gender to reference?
Given the diversity of human thought and actions, I don't think it's right to label one group of behaviors or thoughts as being specifically gendered. But people do say that they feel like a gender. So is gender a feeling, rather than a thought or an action? If it is a feeling, how does it feel?



It has been quite some time, so just a reminder of the original post. At any given time, we as Jedi have the ability to learn and grow. No ONE person represents the entire Temple. That is not the way it has ever worked. We have many different leaders in many different lifestyles who serve in and in the heart of the Temple. Each of us brings a better and bigger understanding of what is inside the vessel and what else is possible. Each vessel and contents are sometimes seeming like water and oil but with time and practice, we can learn to create quite a bit of a stir together.  This place and people meet. We meet online and offline. Our orientations are sometimes what draw us closer and the fact that we are not the same is what bonds us around a campfire or at a gathering.  

Do remember, we are allowed the liberty of perspective. Each of us is. If you were given the grace to take your liberty, why would you take that from another? That is my two cents on the matter. It is worth that much. 

We do not discriminate on anything really.We Believe:In the Force, and in the inherent worth of all life within it.
All are welcome. Redemption can be found, had, and given at any time in our paths. Self-reflection is not gender specific nor is human development, if anything it is what binds genders not separate. 

 

I thought it might be useful to share some scientific background on the subject, as I think an underlying issue whenever the topic of trans people is brought up in any venue is that we assume that sex is exactly as simple as it is described to be in high school biology class. We are taught that people are either born with a 23rd chromosome pair of either XY or XX and that someone with XY has a completely male phenotype and a person with XX has a completely female phenotype. The reality WAY more complicated. Genotype is the genetic sequences a person has. Phenotype is how those genetic sequences manifest.

Starting just with genotype, there's a lot of issues with the assumption that everyone has either an XY or an XX. The first being that it's a lot more common than most people realize for XXY, XXX, or even just X to appear. The reason is that when the gamete (sperm or egg) divides from a cell with a full 23 pairs of chromosomes to two cells that each have 23, those chromosomes don't always split up the way they're supposed to. Down Syndrome is a classic example of a different set of chromosomes not splitting up correctly (the 21st chromosome). For the 23rd chromosome, Y can't occur because there are genes on the X chromosome necessary for fetal development, so spontaneous abortion or miscarriage would occur very early in the pregnancy, and X does generally render the person infertile so it is often detected. XXX would likely manifest fairly similar to XX since one X chromosome basically balls up and becomes unused anyway, but the XXY trisomy is where things get interesting. The body might develop using the Y, or it might not, or it might do a little bit of both. Statistically the XXY trisomy occurs in about 3-6 million people in the US (80-160 million in the world). Even this is just the tip of the iceberg, though.

Before splitting off into the separate gamete, the paired chromosomes intermingle with their pairs, swapping pieces of their genetic code with each other. Because of this a child's genetics will truly be a mix of both grandparents' genetics instead of just chromosomes from one or the other. Sometimes this causes significant genetic defects, but for the species as a whole it's been advantageous as it expedites evolution. Normally, this intermingling only occurs for the first 22 chromosomes and not the 23rd pair, but that doesn't always happen. In some cases The X and Y chromosomes of the father will swap genetic sequences before separating as well, meaning that some of the typically male genes end up on the X chromosome and some of the typically female genes end up on the Y chromosome. While the odds of this event occurring are pretty low, these errors get passed on to all future generations and over time the odds that this occurred for any one of our ancestors becomes much higher. Statistically this 23rd chromosome mingling (called aneuploidy) occurs in about 200,000 people in the US or about 5.5 million people in the world. There are also mosaicisms where a person actually ends up with multiple genetic lineages in the same person (again due to an error in mitosis, but in this case it's the production of too many copies of each chromosome instead of just the incorrect separation of the chromosomes) or chimera syndrome where the embryo of one paternal twin absorbs the embryo of the other. I recently encountered a story of a mom who got her child taken away because genetic testing revealed she wasn't the mother. Having literally given birth to the child she of course begged to differ but it would take a while for her doctors to realize that the issue was chimera syndrome and the genes of her daughter actually came from the twin she absorbed in the womb, so this stuff can get kind of wild.

Before I get into epigenetics a brief primer on what genes actually are is probably needed. Genes are essentially blueprints for proteins. These proteins might be enzymes, hormones (not all hormones, but some), receptors or channels, or a number of other things that make the cell and the body as a whole function a certain way. Some proteins function to turn genes on or off (called transcription factors, either promoters when they promote the expression of that gene or repressors when they, well, repress the expression of that gene), so even if a person has a certain genotype, that doesn't mean their phenotype will reflect it. Because most of the actual blueprints are on the X chromosome with the Y chromosome mostly just has transcription factors that promote the "male" genes on the X chromosome and repress the "female" genes, if there is an error in the function of these transcription factors, then the wrong genes will be expressed, as a result there are individuals who are labeled as male at birth who in fact have genotypes of X, XX, or XXX. Unless the person did genetic testing, they'd never know they didn't have an XY pair.

The reason all of this ties into epigenetics is that epigentics is basically transcription factors being passed down from parent to child. These can develop through many generations and is one of the reasons why the lifestyle of a parent can impact the child and pass on more than just the genotype of their genetics. As the parent's body turns on and off different genes in response to events in their life, the transcription factors that do this get passed on to their children. Sometime transcription factors get passed on that shouldn't have. (Technically speaking the father likely passes epigenetics down through the sperm and the mother whose eggs were formed before she was even born and thus are unaffected by her epigenetics gets passed down through her blood stream which supplies the embryo). This is a pretty simplistic explanation of epigenetics and in all honesty my understanding of the topic is very limited as it's a seriously complicated topic that is very difficult to research. The point here is that the expression of genes isn't just a matter of which genes are present, it's a matter of which genes are expressed and there's a lot of ways that can go wrong.

There are quite a few different sex genes (and not all of them are even on the 23rd chromosome). It's also worth noting that even a single gene will have many different alleles, or ways specific variations of that gene, which changes how the gene is expressed or how well it is expressed. Genes also aren't necessarily an all on or all off kind of deal. There are leaky promoters (which are sometimes a nuisance to me in the lab because they muddy results), and some genes that might be activated without promoters to a lesser degree. There's also variations in the promoters themselves that change how much they promote the gene they are attached to (they physically attach to the beginning of a gene that is going to be expressed). Because of this there can be a lot of variability in how strongly a gene is expressed. There are dozens of different genes contributing to sex characteristics (that we have so far identified), and a variety of weird ways that these can be activated, inactivated, or partially activated in unexpected or even contradictory ways.

So how does all of this manifest in phenotype or how the genes are actually expressed? There's a lot that goes into male or female. There are external genitalia, internal reproductive organs, breast tissue, hormones, brain chemistry, muscle development (as a result of those hormones, specifically once puberty has hit, before that there isn't really a significant difference in physical build), hair growth, and possibly a number of factors we have yet to identify. Each of these factors can be male, female, some combination of the two (since some are controlled by a combination of genes), or even somewhere in the middle (in the case of those leaky promoters, unusual epigenetics or other mistakes in the activation/deactivation of genes, and variations in alleles). While some of these factors are obvious, (such as external genitalia) many of them would not be visible without extensive testing, or even impossible to identify short of cutting a person's brain open... which we frown on for living individuals if it's not necessary.

About 1-2% of the population is born intersex. This is where there is an obvious combination of both male and female physiology. (Some people are born with one teste and one ovary, male genitalia with female reproductive organs, etc.. In these cases it has previously been common practice for doctors to basically pick the one they believe is most prevalent and perform a surgery to change everything to that gender (or at least everything obvious and surgically alterable). Some other phenotypes might become obvious later in life (like the development of breast tissue), and some phenotypes may never be identifiable.

In practice, this means that testosterone levels (the hormone that impacts build and athletic performance) can vary widely. Studies among world class athletes have found that while female athletes on average have less testosterone than male athletes, the range between the high and lows isn't actually very different, there's just more female athletes on the lower end of that range and more male athletes in the higher end of that range. Sports that require significant upper body strength obviously tend to favor those at the higher end of the range. It's worth noting that athletes are probably not a sample that accurately reflects the population at large (especially elite athletes), because those with higher testosterone are naturally going to be more inclined to be involved in sports.

So how do you define male or female from the perspective of sex? Do you define it as someone born with or without a Y chromosome? Do you define it as someone with male or female genitalia? Do you define it as someone with male or female reproductive organs? Do you define it by the development of breast tissue? Do you define it by hormone levels? Each one of those categories will give you a different group of people. Each one of these, however, does get used as the definition in different settings. Do surgeries that change these characteristics change a person's sex or is that based on a how a person was born? How this all translates into discussions on trans people, and in particular trans athletes, as well as topics like gender as a whole is a much more complicated topic that sits at the intersection of biology, sociology, and probably psychology and inevitably political science as well.

There have been a number of instances over the years where female athletes born female were barred from world competitions like the Olympics because their testosterone levels were too high (and caught in the anti-doping testing since testosterone doping is indeed one way to gain an advantage). They've had to appeal, often requiring a lot of evidence from their doctor that they just naturally produce more testosterone than average.

I think there's no denying that there have been at least a few specific examples of trans female athletes who out perform female athletes they compete against in strength-related sports. Lia Thomas is a classic example of someone who after transitioning and sitting out the required waiting period following that transition performed far better against female athletes than previously against male athletes. The question of when a person needs to transition or how long they need to wait before competing following transition to be fair is definitely a serious question that a lot of very smart people have struggled to come to a conclusive answer on. Someone who begins hormone therapy before the onset of puberty would have no advantage in athletic performance since they would have the testosterone levels controlled by the hormone therapy. Those who transition after the onset of puberty raise much more complex questions that a lot of very smart people have struggled to find good answers to.

As I said, how this all interacts with the topic of this thread lies at the intersection of many fields of study, but I wanted to at least share how the biological factors fit in to the best of my understanding, since I often notice these types of conversations being driven by a fundamental misunderstanding of how complex genetics really is and how many different ways it complicates topics like sex and gender.

It is also important to note that a lot of studies have been conducted on mental health and other factors involving transgender individuals. Transgender individuals have far higher levels of mental health issues, homelessness, disability, and physical health issues than other populations (and a WAY higher suicide rate). What's notable about this is that these rates level out with the larger population for individuals who have a supportive family, live in areas where there are laws supporting transgender individuals and anti-discrimination and anti-bullying laws or policies. That is to say that while transgender individuals do face a lot of significant and even deadly challenges, those are sociological challenges that reflect how society around them treats these individuals, and not caused by biological factors. This is why conversations about this topic are so critical, because it is literally a matter of life and death for many people and how society as a whole handles these topics is the key aspect that controls that, so having honest open dialog and working together to come to a better understanding of the topic really is important.

How all this factors into gender as a whole, is again, a bigger can of worms that is probably as much sociological as it is biological and my couple semesters of sociology certainly don't make me all that knowledgeable on that topic.

I think the approach generally taken is to avoid discrimination insofar as it doesn't discriminate on others.

And when that intersection does happen then the discussion changes from one of understanding one thing, to understanding at least two sides and the dynamics of the 'conflict' for want of a better word.

I'd say when groups feel anti-discrimination of one group is discriminating on other group/s, then some type of distinguishing is probably required to be extended to try to mitigate it and minimize it, if not ideally remove discriminating anyone.... even at the expense of inevitably having to have some duplication of characteristics - which inherently is likely going to be identified by those very contested differences. Which in these cases are likely going to be remnants of said confliction unfortunately. But I don't view that process as discriminatory, for the intent is to minimize discrimination and maximize equality, fairness, and accessibility in a situation. It's usually the best anyone can do when two sides claim their rights are conflicting.

Which yes, then it rightly begs the question are the claims valid (on both sides)! And that to be fair always needs to be considered in a framework of real or perceived impacts of all realistically possible solutions to and from both sides. Not an easy thing to do when conflicts generate emotions on both sides, and are supported by history or science. I think it's why most folk I know seem to think the easiest and fairest solution is creating new groups in those environments when people are being divided into groups (eg sport competitions etc), but no it's not going to appease everyone to address ideals which might favour one side or the other. When there are actual arguments against the claims of the other side they must be considered in the same spirit of fairness and equality even/especially if we disagree; since we all carry bias and presumptions and especially, albeit different types depending on whether an issue is foreign to us or not. Most people won't be willing or able to get into the detail that impacted people will.

So it's interesting to consider it from the social identity theory aspect, even if it's a parallel and totally simplified paradigm for it; when how one group wants to join another group it really needs to be given entry by the existing group, rather than forcing entry into an existing group. The later creates conflict which will continue until one side wins and the other loses or the conflict is ceased by avoiding the conflict entirely by some other means. So back to my intro, the theme I tend towards is, if not being able to avoid conflict, then to minimize it in a manner which endeavors to most fair and most equitable to the competing sides. Part of that might be both sides acknowledging they both might have to lose something to win something and negotiating that becomes the main effort to achieve a peaceful outcome.

 

I think that raises some interesting elements to the conversation, some that address the most recent direction the thread has gone and some that go back to the beginning of the thread. I'm going to set the conflicting rights, desires, and viewpoints aside to first address an interesting perspective that you bring up with social identity.

One perspective is an outside group asking for admission into a group, but I imagine (and anyone who is trans, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong) most trans people would view it the opposite, as being rejected by the group they are a part of or being told by others in society that they are not a part of the group that they consider themselves to be a part of. I'm going to view this through a lens of less emotional topics. First, I imagine people being split up according to favorite color. Imagine your favorite color is blue so you go stand with the blue group and then people tell you "No, you're not a part of that group, you had a yellow blanket when you were a baby so you can't like blue. Go back to the yellow group." Now imagine you could only wear clothes of the color from your group, drive a car, live in a house decorated with, and have everything else in your life defined by that color. You may hate yellow, but you've now been told you don't get to be blue even though your favorite color is blue. You were born with a yellow blanket which was the most identifiable colored object when you were a baby, so it doesn't matter if you're blue, society won't accept that. (I'm leaning into the fact that genitals are only one of dozens of different sex characteristics, with the blanket analogy here). What's especially interesting about this lens is that it also begs the question: what about people who just don't have a favorite color, or are color blind? Does everyone have to have one clear favorite color or is it possible that some people might just have zero affinity for any one particular color?

Another interesting lens comes from my own life: hair color. When I was born I had brown hair. I always knew that my hair was brown. If you look at my profile picture you may notice that my hair is now black. The transition was so gradual that I never noticed. One day in second grade we were splitting up into groups by hair color and I ended up getting into an argument with people who told me my hair wasn't brown. They were right, of course, it wasn't. It was a bit of a shock, though, to realize that my hair color was different than I was born with, different than on my birth certificate (slight exaggeration, I don't think hair color is on birth certificates, though eye color might be and I have experienced a similar change there). Either way I no longer fit in with the brown hair group. I truly wasn't one of them even though that's the group I was born into. It would have been even more jarring if I then went over to the black haired group since that's the group I was now clearly in and they told me I wasn't welcome because I was originally a brown hair kid. Again, imagine basically every aspect of society was built around hair color: what sports teams I can be on, what bathroom I can use, what clothes I wear, but I'm not really welcome in any group, not the one that I was born into, nor the one that I now fit. Instead I have no bathroom where I'm welcome, no sports team that I can participate in, or stores where I can go shopping for clothes. I can't imagine being in that position, and I'm very glad I'm not, but I can have empathy for those who are.

Now setting all that aside, Master Adder brings this back to a really important conversation: there are two sides to this, and at least some of the concerns on each side are valid. For those who are trans they want to be free to be themselves and still enjoy all the same opportunities as everyone else in the world, free from discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity. They want the government to stay out of their healthcare decisions and leave it to them and their doctor (and their parents if the are kids). They want to be able to participate in sports just like everyone else and strive to accomplish great things. They want to not be treated like pariahs in society or have to constantly face commentary about who them are being invalid and how them just trying to be themselves is a sign of mental illness (which notably the idea of it being a mental illness has been soundly rejected by the APA, WHO, and other leading authorities on the subject). They want to not face discrimination when looking for a job or trying to get an education.

On the other hand people are worried about fairness. There have been at least a few notable examples where a trans person (usually a trans woman) has had an unfair advantage, and perhaps even a couple situations which have created a dangerous environment in middle school and high school sports which leaves people understandable concerned. There is also a fear of sexual predators. While the data doesn't support the fear that trans people are somehow more likely to be sexual predators, it doesn't mean the fear itself doesn't exist. I would argue that it is largely people projecting, men thinking about what they'd be doing in a women's bathroom (as though anything private isn't happening inside a stall anyway). in part I think this fear is also just a fear of what is different. We are hardwired to fear the unknown and that which is different. That instinct protects us, it keeps us away from things we don't know are safe. There's also a lot of rhetoric and hype on the issue, causing people to rally to the aid of people who don't need it and are actually harmed by the aid provided (that aid being legislation that limits that person's freedom to make their own healthcare choices).

The sports issue is a complex one. It was generally held that after a few years of being on hormone therapy the effects of the higher testosterone would have worn off and the person would no longer be competing in the same fashion as the higher levels of testosterone. This may not account for the impact of a person continuing to very actively use those muscle groups through the transition, though, such as an athlete continuing to train. Even if they took a few years off of the sport, if they had been actively training during that time their muscles may not have atrophied enough to shift to the levels normal for a different level of testosterone. The human body is very efficient and doesn't leave extra muscles that aren't being used (so for those getting older, please stay active so your muscles don't atrophy), but if you are using them, and using them to the fullest, the body isn't going to break them down and reuse those resources elsewhere. For someone who has transitioned before puberty (including hormone therapy), their muscles would never have developed to that higher level in the first place, but for those who have been lifelong athletes and didn't transition until later in life, particularly if they transitioned during their peak around 20 which is not uncommon since 18 is when many are able to make their own choices, I can see there being some issue with the body fully adapting while actively continuing to train those muscles.

It's also important to recognize, as Master Adder pointed out, that this is conflicting needs and desires going against each other and that means there's no easy answers. Understanding the other side of the issue and not just writing them off. Having had a number of patients who are trans, and knowing others who are trans besides, I certainly am biased toward protecting trans people as I've seen the level of discrimination and the challenges they face every day of their lives. Still, I recognize that there are some genuine concerns, some of which are perceived issues and others that are valid problems that haven't been fully addressed. We're not going to be able to address those as a society until we have an honest conversation about them.

I think this subject is probably a little overcomplicated because society is currently in a state of rejecting a previous social order as it relates to gender roles. And that's a good thing. Saying "It's a different time" doesn't go far enough. For too long women have been oppressed and not simply forced into a gender role, but basically a glorified servant depending on their culture.

For men, realizing how wrong this always was it may feel somewhat embarrassing for lack of better terms, that this still needs to be addressed. But that's the thing. If a problem still exists then it's still going to have consequences even as those consequences fade over time. Rejecting societal norms is a process. But just because men (generalized) were wrong doesn't mean we can just switch. Sometimes accepting responsibility for something is best done by making sure you're not adding to the guilt and are instead trying to make things better by treating women as equals, not literally trying to become them.

That being said, I think (**MY OPINION**) is that a lot of the "I think I'm____" is BS. I apologize for any feelings rubbed the wrong way but we do need honest conversations in order to understand and deal with the issue. It's not that anyone is lying, but rather I think it is a consequence of this rejection of norms. On some level, problems and issues are internalized much like psychological trauma. Pieces of the traumatic memories stay and create a type of psychic infection. 

In this case, the male identity is really just a social construct that we all feed into. What does it mean to be a man? That's subjective. Being a man and being a testosterone-filled macho man isn't the same thing. Confusing being macho with being a man is therefore a mistake. There is a female equivalent to "macho" but just because only men are called macho doesn't mean macho is a standard of manhood. If you don't like that, you don't have to. 

But because identity itself is a construct, subject to our ideas, if our ideas about something become corrupted by an infection of negative ideas, then it makes it difficult to hold on to that mental image of that identity. So it's not purely accurate that people feel like they are _____ but rather that they are not ______. It is a judgment about the thing they don't want to be. But instead of saying "I don't want to be macho", assuming that is what society wants and expects, it's confused with "I don't want to be a man." 

And this is why I say it's BS. Because it's based on negative judgments and assumptions about what being a man or woman is about. And now that people are "allowed" to simply think they know what the other gender is about then switching isn't even something you have to go through a psychologist to do. It's becoming fashionable and therefore all of the "transitions" cannot be trusted. 

Let's say that historically men have had the role of protector and provider. Is there something wrong with that? No. But that doesn't mean women cannot do both. Men have a slight advantage physically but that can be easily negated by weapons and skill. So instead of saying "that's not me" I feel like we should be saying, "Women can do it too" and really uplifting women for what they can do which then frees these identities and roles from their gender assignments. The fact that women can do what men can do is not a new concept. It's been the case forever. By the same token if you're weak and you have no job prospects does it mean you're not a man because, in your current state, you can't provide or protect? If that were the case then what about boys? 

So the problem isn't men or women. It's trying to tie other ideas to what it means to be a man or woman. Gender isn't something you feel. It's what you are. I think what we need to fundamentally realize is that men are related to a masculine designation that is simply physical. And there is a spectrum of masculinity that all males fall into. On the other side, there are women which is a feminine designation that is partially being rethought because it comes from men and often even the rejection of which is also... coming from men.

Not only are women dealing with the oppression of being cast into gender roles, but they're also being told by males who reject masculinity that they are women because they feel like women; thus claiming to know what being a woman is. And there is no way they can even communicate that without mansplaining because they are literally men. 

I agree with most of what you said ZealotX, I think. Buuut I think gender can be felt.... because to me its most logical manifestation when stripping societal influences is being one of 'energy circuits'; that is the patterns of tension which define shape and movement, and thus play a significant role in 'feeling' (among others factors).

In this regard it links directly to morphological differences of male and female sexual differentiation. Things like the orientation and shape of the pelvis influences a wide range of physicality; be it sitting, standing, walking and moving... when compared to the orientation, size and shape of the male. This also goes to other parts of the skeleton like shoulders, but also height etc. Then there is the difference in function, shape and size of reproductive related organs and attributes associated with sexual differentiation. This alter the weight and balance as well which imparts differences on biomechanics of self. And then of course the impacts of there being a 10x difference in the level of testosterone, and over 3x in amount of estrogen, which incur a difference in the emotional baselines which our self emerges and operates.

If those differences are large enough between those majority groups, then it's going to denote real tangible difference rather than simple stereotyping.

Note this is all speaking in terms of statistical averaging within groups and not meant to misapplied to the level of analysis of individual (because so much variation is natural within groups attributed to either sexual pole). Certainly not for identity purposes, just the discussion of if, how and why gender might be felt, and by extension why it might exist historically and moving forward.

Why I view all that relevant is because it represents the different types of internal influences when comparing those group stats, but more importantly because it seems to relate to how those old fashioned stereotype norms of gender developed and maintained certain characteristics over human history outside of the external influences such as patriarchy, religion, culture etc.

That does not mean I consider gender a synonym for sex, not at all, as I do think that lots of other factors can play equal or greater roles than what I've outlined here... but to me these physical differences from traditional associations could explain why often it appears people switching genders tend to align and adopt gender practises and behaviours associated in many ways with traditional gender poles. I presume this is to feel more like and target gender and/or sex, but it stands to reason to consider that it could also be to better fit into society based on the way they already feel - though that of course begs the question what are the characteristics of the feeling that is being attributed to gender. I imagine people either choose to become, or believe they always have been, the target gender and in the later it would logically be because it is how they feel I suppose be it internally or fitting in socially? I'm just trying to boil it down to if and why might or might not concepts of gender even continue exist if it's just a social construct.

 

I find it interesting to observe who the arguments in this conversation seem to play into a much bigger conversation about minorities, be it gender minorities, ethnic minorities, or any other group that is only a very small subset of a population whose experiences are completely foreign to the vast majority of the population. Trans people make up roughly 2% of the population. For the other 98% of us, we really can't even comprehend the experience of that 2%. We can be quick to assume that our own experience and observations are the universal human experience and question the validity of the experience of others when they don't match our own, but that doesn't mean that the experiences of others are B.S. just because we ourselves can't comprehend it or because it doesn't match with our own experience in our lives. Probably one of the greatest challenges in life is to try to understand those whose experiences are dramatically different from ours, so much so that we can't even comprehend it.

Having known many trans people, I can honestly say that one or two of them seem to be running away from something or identify as the opposite gender primarily because their personality and interests fall in line with the opposite gender than they were assigned at birth. Most that I know, however, the idea that they were ever the other gender seems somehow out of place. It seems as though they really are one gender with only one or two notable differences and those notable differences are the characteristics under which the legal gender was assigned at birth. There are the exceptions to the rule as there is in any topic, but as a rule, trans people are not trying to avoid some stereotype of the gender they were assigned at birth or are basing their identity on some cultural idea of what a person of a specific gender is supposed to be. Also, contrary to what is probably popular belief, there are clinical guidelines for when gender affirming care is warranted. If medical intervention is involved (such as hormone therapy), it's not a matter of someone waking up and deciding one day that they are the other gender. In some cases those guidelines do call for psychological evaluation to ensure that it isn't a manifestation of some mental health issue, but generally that wouldn't be necessary unless there are specific red flags. There are none the less specific criteria that a health care provider would generally follow. While bodily autonomy and a person's right to govern their own body are one of the most critical principles of bioethics, doing no harm and ensuring that the benefit outweighs the risk before performing a medical intervention of any kind is also a huge part of bioethics, so the criteria for gender affirming care includes an evaluation that essentially has to determine that it would be harmful to the person to not receive that medical intervention.

Gender involves a LOT of different characteristics, and many people are born with both male and female characteristics, to the point where in some cases assigning a gender at birth becomes a judgement call or even a flip of the coin (and in these most extreme cases usually involves surgery shortly after a child is born to bring all reproductive organs in line with the gender assigned). Internal and external reproductive organs are a couple of them these characteristics. Hormones are another set of these characteristics which often but not always coincide with reproductive organs (particularly because those reproductive organs themselves produce many of those hormones). Most of us don't have to worry about it because we're born with all or most of our sex characteristics matching our external genitalia (the sex characteristic off which our current society judges gender). For all of us in that boat, it's hard difficult to understand or empathize with the 2% who are born with a mix of male and female sex characteristics.

It's also worth noting that the many physical differences between male and female bodies such as muscle mass, height, weight, skeletal differences, balance, etc. are almost exclusively products of different testosterone levels, not differences in reproductive organs. While women on average have lower testosterone than men on average, the range of highest and lowest levels of testosterone are pretty much the same in both populations. (More women are at the lower end of the range, and more men are at the higher end of the range, but the range is basically the same for both groups.) Those who transition before puberty (including hormone therapy) will have the muscle mass, height, weight, etc. of the gender they transitioned to, not the the one they were assigned at birth based on their external genitalia. Those who transition after puberty admittedly do become a more complicated topic (such as the swimmer Lia Thomas).

Why are we talking about sex characteristics when the thread is about what it is to FEEL gender. 

Sex (biological or otherwise) = gender. 

If a 25 year old woman woke up in the body of a man, they'd still be the woman they were, just stuck in a body that is perceived by society differently. You'd start being called sir, expected to do manual labour tasks that previously you'd be glancedly overlooked for, and (as many trans men have noticed) suddenly be hit by the overwhelmingly crushing lonliness men experience because of our largely patriarchal society. You're also suddenly expected to dress certain ways, clothes are made to display what your gender role in society is, even if that isn't what you are. 

None of this has anything to do with puberty, muscle mass, or bone structure. 

What is it to feel gender? Well, its to feel what it is that brings you joy and comfort in how you're perceived in society. I LOVE being called cutie. If suddenly people started calling me handsome, or manly, I'd probably feel my skin start crawling. 

I think this may be where the different tangents this conversation has taken might all come back together.

There are a lot of different sex characteristics. Physical structure, reproductive organs, hormone levels, brain chemistry (the part the really gets to how it feels), etc. All of these come together to form gender identity. I agree that the brain chemistry component (which really impacts our emotions/personality/interests/how we interact with the world far more than any of those other characteristics) kind of got dropped off the conversation. I mostly was responding to topics being raised, so thank you for bringing this back around to the original topic.

It's interesting to note also that children start becoming aware of gender around age 2, and usually have a pretty solidified sense of gender by age 4. (This is why a lot of kids might explore traditionally "boy" things and traditionally "girl" things around those age ranges. They are essentially exploring gender, finding out what they like and what group they fit into the most. While many kids are probably aware of physical differences like reproductive organs, certainly not all are and even those who are don't really register those as important at that age so the gender identity is much more formed by personality and interests, the things children at that age are actually interacting with and relating to. (It's also important to note here that is said "usually" have a pretty solidified sense of gender. Some people have gender norms drilled into them very young and don't really do this exploring until later in life when it feels more safe to do so).

There has definitely been a surge of young people identifying as trans, particularly compared to previous generations. For a while there was a legitimate fear that it was a fad or that kids were deciding they were trans because it was the "in" thing, but the numbers have pretty much leveled out at around 1.5% of the population now across both Gen Z and Gen Alpha. The surge was largely attributed to children who had identified as a different gender than they were assigned at birth but were in previous generations told that wasn't allowed. They were what was on their birth certificate and that's the end of the conversation. (Many of these individuals across all generations are now also starting to come out as transgender, but much more slowly, sitting at around 0.5%). Now, because many parents are more supportive of kids being the gender they identify as, many of these young children who identify as a different gender than they were assigned at birth as they get older and find out that society does not perceive them as the same gender they perceive themselves then bring up the conversation about transitioning (usually not with that sophisticated language of course, usually it's more like "but I'm a boy, how do I get everyone else to see that?").

It is worth noting, however, that I am not in that 0.5-1.5%, so not having personal experience, I am speaking through experiences I've heard from others, but mostly through statistics and scientific research on the subject, not personal experience. I can't really speak to what it feels like to identify as a different gender than assigned. For me, there are moments when I don't feel as masculine as it seems I should, and I wouldn't mind being able to dress in a way that lets my personality show a little more (as men don't really accessorize beyond a tie which has largely fallen out of use for all but the most formal events). Otherwise, though, I'm a pretty stereotypical man. I do catch myself mansplaining on occasion. (I try to be aware of when I'm sharing details that I genuinely have some unique perspective or insight on, but I do on occasion catch my self explaining things that is completely obvious to everyone, oblivious to the fact that I'm basically talking down to people by doing so). I am somewhat clueless on a lot of the same things men tend to be clueless about. My friends and I were chatting the other night. The women in the group were asking what kind of shampoo I use. My answer: uh, something that says shampoo?. The other guy in the group said: soap? water? When asked what kind of conditioner I used, I just shook my head. The women at the table seemed semi-horrified that I wasn't using conditioner and kind of lectured me on the importance of it. I'm not as interested in sports and cars as some men and more interested in meditation and internal introspection than most men (I suspect that last part of that sentence is true of most men within the Temple), and I'm in a profession that is probably 90% women. Still, if I were to think about what gender I feel like it wouldn't take any thought at all to answer that I feel like a man. That's who I am. If I were to suddenly transition to a woman's body, I would feel out of place.

A lot of times I think we don't really acknowledge how a certain thing feels when it's the default. It's only when it stands out as unique that we really stop to think about that. I imagine gender is the same way. If we feel like the gender that we are assigned, if all of our sex characteristics (physical structure, reproductive organs, hormone levels, personality, etc.) all line up, then there isn't much to think about. I'm just a guy and that's kind of all there is to it. When those don't line up, when who we are and the body we inhabit are mismatched or when we lie somewhere in the middle of the spectrum instead of clearly at one end or the other, than we become much more aware of how that feels. The greater level of introspection to find out who we really are almost becomes required to figure out who we are because it isn't as obvious as it is for others.

I have to acknowledge, too, that if I were called "cute" I'd probably recoil pretty strongly. I remember when I ran a department next to the receiving area one of my female employees walked back to receiving area as they were getting in a bunch of multicolored duct tape. One of the receiving workers told her, "Do NOT say the c-word!" As a couple other guys looked confused, she exclaimed in the most girly voice she could muster "CUUUUUTE!" just to annoy him. That anecdote still amuses me. Hopefully it brings a little levity to this otherwise deep conversation without taking it off track.

I think often "bad people" create traumas that cause us to no longer be attracted to anyone who is remotely like "that person". Therefore if women have traumatically bad experiences with men it may be possible for them to be more attracted to other women by default because they are either consciously or subconsciously avoiding men out of fear. And we know from prison culture that sexuality is more fluid if you are cut off from the opposite sex. So if a person constructs such a mental prison out of fear, cutting themselves off from the opposite gender, then that leaves the same gender. Likewise, traumatic events with the same gender or with "bad people parents" could, in my opinion, lead a person to reject their own gender, especially if they were pressured to be a certain kind of man or woman. Parent's often make the mistake of trying to mold their children into little versions of themselves or their aspirations which doesn't always fit the child.

At the same time, many children are triggered into non-conformity in general and therefore seek out ways to not conform as a rebellion against societal norms.

Yes, gender characteristics are a coin flip. However, I do think what people are rejecting is the idea that physical characteristics = gender. And I think this comes from emotional feelings of rejection. They don't want to be their gender because of something that, perhaps even unique to them, that gender identity has come to represent. But this doesn't mean everyone should run from what they are. And I have even seen black people bleach their skin in order to appear to be white. I find this very sad because no matter what you feel about who you are or what physical trait you have... EVERYTHING that makes you... you... there is and cannot be anything wrong with it. I feel like by allowing everyone to be whatever gender they want, we're actually not even seeing how many people are simply hurting in their own self-identity to the point that they are willing to either dress differently or physically alter themselves just to feel like a different person. But if you truly love yourself... perhaps, many people who identify as trans would learn to accept who/what they are. And even in the case of trauma... Yes we now have the technology but that doesn't mean we should use it to change nature. Because we're behaving like there is no cost outside of money. But there is always a cost and that is why there is balance in the universe.

My question for trans people would be this? 
1. Why do you not want to be your birth-assigned gender?
2. Why do you want to be the other gender?
3. Did you suffer a traumatic event?

1) Because I'm not it. 

2) I'm not trying to be another gender. I'm trying to be MY gender. 

3) Yeah, being forced to undergo the wrong puberty. Why does gender orientation have to have anything to do with trauma? Don't try diagnosing us when you're not a gender specialist. 

I am actually disgusted a 'Jedi' would have such hateful attitude towards trans people. Go read the homepage here again. 

" I want to be careful here because the object isn't to offend anyone."

Proceeds to call trans people BS. Good job 'jedi'. 

I’m locking this thread temporarily for review. Complaints of rule violations have been made. I’ll unlock it after my review is complete

Thread is unlocked…..the offending post has been deleted…..please be respectful of eachother. I’m all for people stating their personal opinions, but not if that means attacking others. Be Jedi!

We may have different definitions of "hate" and I can make room for that; however, by any definition I'd use I don't personally have any hatred towards those wanting, for whatever reason, to be something other than what they were born as. I had no idea anyone would react so strongly to these questions and so they weren't designed to provoke hostility. I can only say that I'm sorry if anyone was unintentionally offended.

It's unfortunate that we're losing a perspective on this issue that may have offered some insight. However, let's not jump to conclusions and imagine we know each other's feelings. In fact, that's the very reason for asking questions rather than making personal assertions.

The point I was trying to get to is how can a person know they are not what they are? And by saying what they are... I'm not trying to negate how a person FEELS. However, how a person feels may be the opposite of what they are. At what point do we have to say that a boy who feels like a girl... *IS* a girl? And how do they know that they feel like girls if they really don't know how a girl feels? And is feeling like a girl, therefore, based on some means of trying to identify certain feelings with femininity? Or is feeling like a girl simply not feeling like a guy? And what does feeling like a guy feel like? That goes to the basic premise of this thread.

The only way you can really speak on what it feels like to be a guy is to first "be a guy". If you are a guy speaking from experience then it's because that's what you are. To say you don't want to be that is fine but the only way you can say you don't want to be that is to first know what it is you don't want to be. So whatever reason that is, must include some 'knowledge of' being that gender. This is not an attack and shouldn't be taken as such. Just like having been born as that is also not an attack. And let me restate, once more, that people are allowed to feel however they want. I actually never called BS on every single person who identifies differently from their birth. Rather, I'm calling BS on judging genders according to whatever negative biases and gender-based stereotypes which could potentially make a person want to reject that gender.

I cannot speak on being a girl but I have no reason not to believe that being a girl is great because girls are fantastic and wonderful. But it's also easy to get stuck on negative thinking and start associating something that is awesome and great with a bad experience or with experiences that were the result of conflict with bad people. The grass is always greener on the other side is a very deep saying because until you truly have that other experience you can't really know if it's better than your own. It just seems like it has to be better from the perspective of the side we're on. 

Note: This post was written last week, but as I was writing it, additional posts were made and the thread was eventually locked. That's to say that I might be responding to some points that were in now-removed posts. I did go back and try to edit it for clarity as much as possible.



If I'm understanding your assertions correctly, you are basically saying that in your view the only way for a person to be trans is as a result of mental health issues and that being trans is just a mental health problem. (If I'm misreading that, please do correct me on that). This is also the main reason I keep coming back to this argument and am trying to explain the biology of it. Perpetuating the belief that being trans gender is a mental illness helps perpetuate discrimination (both microaggressions and blatant acts of discrimination) that make functioning in our society such a challenge for trans gender individuals and create high levels of suicide, disability, homelessness, etc.. As I previously mentioned these issues disappear when trans gender people are supported and live in areas where anti bullying and anti-discrimination policies are in place showing that the disability and mental illness among trans gender individuals are the result of how others in society treat them, not some internal issue.

I think your coin flip analogy highlights the disconnect with what I'm trying to say: It is NOT a simple coin flip. It is at the very least a series of dozens of coin flips that all add up to land somewhere on a spectrum. There are many, many different characteristics that work together to form gender. The fact that people are rejecting the idea that physical characteristics = gender is because those two are not the same. Physical characteristics are one piece of gender, the piece that's easiest to identify from the outside and so becomes the piece of gender that is used to assign sex at birth, but this is not a person's gender. A gender is a compilation of many characteristics some physically measurable and many not. For a person whose physical characteristics do not match their other characteristics, should they reject everything that makes them who they are in order to conform to the physical characteristics they were born with? Is it more important to accept that one physical characteristic than to accept anything else that makes a person who they are?

What I'm gathering from you is that your perspective is trans gender people are running from who they are and not accepting who they really are. I feel pretty confident in saying that most if not all transgender people would tell you it's the opposite. They are learning to accept who they really are despite society trying to reduce them and their entire identity to a single characteristic which doesn't align with anything else about them. Trans gender people also aren't trying to gain some advantage that they perceive the other gender has. The challenges of being transgender in our society are so, so, so much worse than any sort of advantage one might gain by going to the other side of the fence as it were. Not the least of those is the challenge of having other people constantly tell them that their experience and understanding of who they are is BS because it doesn't match the perspective of someone else. Normally I would probably harp on harm that is caused by transgender people (or any minority group) when people continue to make dismissive, belittling, or hurtful comments about them because those microaggressions add up. I've tried to avoid going down that track here more than necessary because I also think it's important to have honest dialog where possible. Just shutting people down and saying "that's hateful, how dare you say that" can get in the way of growth and understanding, so I want to clarify I'm not saying don't speak freely in this conversation, but I do want to raise awareness of the harm microaggressions and negative comments can have, especially as they add up.

(It seems that there has been some conversation about this in the background and others have been less patient with those microaggressions in this conversation. For what it’s worth, Oxford Dictionary defines hate speech as “abusive or threatening speech or writing that expresses prejudice on the basis of ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, or similar grounds.” Words that express prejudice on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity do fall under that definition even if the words weren’t said with malice or hatred. Someone expressing prejudice with or without hatred in their heart is still creating an environment where people are being shown they are unwelcome because of who they are.)

In response to a comment you made (possibly in the now deleted post), I also think it's important to note that kids are a lot less rebellious today than they have been in some generations (surprisingly, that's actually been the subject of research). They still push boundaries especially when they are little, but when those boundaries push back, they generally accept them. When they absolutely refuse to let a boundary push back and are clearly not just testing those boundaries, there's a reason. Teenagers do their own thing, but it's less out of a rejection of their parents (like it was in the 70s) and more a complete apathy. If their ideas match their parents, great, if not, who cares they'll do their thing anyway. The age where most kids begin discussing becoming transgender is actually in the block between those two, when kids are generally cooperative. Many transgender kids are very well behaved and well-adjusted and are overall great kids. They just recognize that their own gender identity doesn't match the sex they were assigned at birth. It's not a rejection of something or running towards something or a reaction to a traumatic event. It's more commonly expressed as, "This is just who I am. I didn't choose it, it just is."

Thinking of gender as an absolute binary of a single physical characteristic when it's a far, far more complex topic can lead us to incorrect conclusions. I think that underlies a lot of the last several pages of this conversation. There's an incorrect assumption or understanding that gender is a remarkably simplistic dichotomy of a singular physical detail.

I will agree that a small minority of transgender people may indeed be reacting to trauma or trying to run away from or toward something. This is a small minority, though, and does not reflect the typical situation. As for your three questions, I think the third question can have some merit if there are red flags (and if I recall correctly that's actually reflected in the clinical guidelines in the case where there is reasonable concern that this might be a factor). Your first two questions really are the same question, or at least would have the same answer for the vast majority of transgender people. They also reflect an underlying assumption that they are either running away from or toward something. I found a list of questions suggested by a website on transgender resources that I think dig for the same kind of information you are looking for but ask it in a less confrontational/accusatory way:

• How long have you been feeling this way?
• What started you thinking about it? Did something happen?
• What made you tell me now? Did something change?
• Have you been talking to anyone else about these feelings?
• How did you learn about transgender people?
• Are you thinking of changing your name and/or the pronouns people use to refer to you?
• Where do you see yourself on the gender spectrum?
• What do you want to change now to express your preferred gender? What would you like to change in the future?

These questions help identify if there was a specific event contributing to a child deciding they are trans, if it's just a momentary fad/peer pressure/rebellion or a long held perspective, and what the person's idea of gender is as well as what they are specifically wanting.