Playing in the Shadows

Friday was an interesting day for me, as I'm sure it was for many of you, seeing the Star Wars teaser trailer. For me, it was a spark of inspiration, and that's when I got a good look at the things and beliefs I've been practicing these past few years.

I've dabbled in the dark side, like a lot of people, and I thought I had a better grasp on the world as a result. What I realized is that I had betrayed the legend. By the legend I mean the responsibilities of being a Jedi. I've been hateful, impatient, and ungrateful for what I have.

This is simply my statement that I'll do better, and perhaps some of you will join me in the effort.

Streen wrote: By the legend I mean the responsibilities of being a Jedi. I've been hateful, impatient, and ungrateful for what I have.

This is simply my statement that I'll do better, and perhaps some of you will join me in the effort.

I think that all of us have at some point been guilty of that. I know I have. I would like to do better.

I agree with both of you. Too often it's easy to convince ourselves that we have "no" responsibility as Jedi... because we think we know best. But, our responsibility comes from the very bed-rock of our existence as a group. If you think about the Hero's/Jedi's journey, you see that there is always a circle of progressing stages in life. But, this circle is not redrawn every time you come around to the beginning... in fact, you draw OVER the previous line, and you take the things you've learned with you on the next trip.

I have been stuck in a circle before, being too afraid to carry what I've learned with me. I've always been content to be a constant beginner.

*shrugs* It's definitely time to pick up my responsibilities and move on to the next circle.

Connor L. wrote: Too often it's easy to convince ourselves that we have "no" responsibility as Jedi... because we think we know best.

Im not sure I understand what you mean. Can you elaborate?

Of course.

When we have a know-it-all attitude, we often do not put the time in to learn and grow. The responsibility as Jedi, as I discussed, is that willingness to know. So, generally people who "think" they know everything will have their path as Jedi impaired.

Connor L. wrote: Of course.

When we have a know-it-all attitude, we often do not put the time in to learn and grow. The responsibility as Jedi, as I discussed, is that willingness to know. So, generally people who "think" they know everything will have their path as Jedi impaired.

Do you think a know it all attitude is typical to Jedi?

To be honest, I probably shouldn't go around making sweeping assumptions. So, I'll decline to comment on that.

Connor L. wrote: To be honest, I probably shouldn't go around making sweeping assumptions. So, I'll decline to comment on that.

Ah, ok. I was just curious as to whether it was something you felt Jedi as a group did as you said "we think we know best", rather than "I".

Obviously not the whole group. But, yes, rather than "I".

EDIT: However, I am included in this. I've had that mentality before, and may have it again someday.

Connor L. wrote: I've had that mentality before, and may have it again someday.

What happened to change that mentality?

(I wonder if we're getting off topic here? It might be good for a mod to separate at some of the posts above this one. I have reported this post and will see what happens. Don't be alarmed!)

Two things. One, my Access Consciousness training, which has helped me to embrace my total self. I have been learning to accept all parts of me, including the nasty parts. I've also been learning to live without judgment, which is a process! But, it has helped me to stop seeing things in terms of morality, and to start seeing them as just... there, for it to exist. And, with this lack of judgment, I've been able to stop keeping myself down for the various things I feel I deserved to be held down for. Thus, I've been able to move on with my life and begin to think about stepping forward.

Really, baby steps!

The second thing has been to embrace my training here. I have been learning about vulnerability and empathy, which has helped me accept that I can be a shitty person sometimes. But, that being a shitty person is only a part of what makes me... me. I have been able to move on from that and attempt to be a shitty person less often.

:laugh:

Connor L. wrote: (I wonder if we're getting off topic here? It might be good for a mod to separate at some of the posts above this one. I have reported this post and will see what happens. Don't be alarmed!)

Two things. One, my Access Consciousness training, which has helped me to embrace my total self. I have been learning to accept all parts of me, including the nasty parts. I've also been learning to live without judgment, which is a process! But, it has helped me to stop seeing things in terms of morality, and to start seeing them as just... there, for it to exist. And, with this lack of judgment, I've been able to stop keeping myself down for the various things I feel I deserved to be held down for. Thus, I've been able to move on with my life and begin to think about stepping forward.

Really, baby steps!

The second thing has been to embrace my training here. I have been learning about vulnerability and empathy, which has helped me accept that I can be a shitty person sometimes. But, that being a shitty person is only a part of what makes me... me. I have been able to move on from that and attempt to be a shitty person less often.

:laugh:

Lol. Yes, my curiosity has a habit of derailing things. But my curiosity is piqued. How has learning about empathy led you to accept that youre, as you say "a shitty person somedays"?

Because I more understand that narcissism is an inhibitor. Self-centeredness stunts movement on the Hero's Journey. It keeps me from seeing the bigger picture since I'm so focused on making ourselves pleasured and pampered.

Connor L. wrote: Because I more understand that narcissism is an inhibitor. Self-centeredness stunts movement on the Hero's Journey. It keeps me from seeing the bigger picture since I'm so focused on making ourselves pleasured and pampered.

All good points. I guess I'm not understanding how developing empathy has facilitated that for you. But no doubt everyone's experiences of it differ.

I don't think I can be empathetic and narcissistic/self-centered at the same time.

Connor L. wrote: I don't think I can be empathetic and narcissistic/self-centered at the same time.

No, I suppose not.

Connor L. wrote: It keeps me from seeing the bigger picture since I'm so focused on making ourselves pleasured and pampered.

What do you focus on instead?

I don't actually have a focus right now. I'm more in the exploring phase. But, I am learning to let off the hose a bit on the hedonistic lifestyle.

A lot of these problems are caused by my mental condition, by the way. ADHD. I'm untreated, and I think a lot of my problems are particular to my condition. I hope some of this is helping.

I do believe that all of us have got sometime been responsible of that. I understand I have. I want to accomplish better. Im unclear I am aware of what you imply. Are you able to elaborate?

Brenna wrote:

Connor L. wrote: Of course.

When we have a know-it-all attitude, we often do not put the time in to learn and grow. The responsibility as Jedi, as I discussed, is that willingness to know. So, generally people who "think" they know everything will have their path as Jedi impaired.

Do you think a know it all attitude is typical to Jedi?

More "humans" than "jedi" is how I read that....

I think Jedi are aware, and work to make it happen less...

But, we (Jedi) are susceptible, lol, thats for sure...:lol:...

Connor wrote: (I wonder if we're getting off topic here? It might be good for a mod to separate at some of the posts above this one. I have reported this post and will see what happens. Don't be alarmed!)

Nah, I think it is ok...

If another Mod disagrees, and wants to move it, I wont challenge it...