Star Wars or Jedi Humor

Just thought it would be cool to put in a spot for some sort of humor. Its a little thing that makes life go by a little easier at times. I guess it doesn't really have to be Jedi or Star Wars related, but lets keep it clean, kids are watching.


I'll begin with a little note, and then a joke that I hope will be amusing atleast, but since I made it up, probably not.

Chuck Norris was honored recently by being granted a \"Honorary Marine\", this of course in my eyes is a terrible disgrace to the Marine Corps, since the term \"earned never given\" no longer applies. Although I'm not sure why he was granted this, it makes no difference to me, but I decided why not add a few more facts to the already numerous Chuck Norris fact list.

Fact #1,000,000
Chuck Norris is the only person who knows where \"Chesty\" is.
Not even Chesty knows. (Gen. \"Chesty\" Puller).

Fact #1,000,001
The lightsaber in Star Wars was originally created to combat Chuck Norris who was going to be the original Darth Vader, but ultimately it did not work, so they replaced Chuck with David Prowse.

Fact #1,000,002
The seemingly infinate power supply of the lightsaber is actually just a little jar containing a dozen or so hairs of Chucks beard, he had to pluck them his self of course.

Fact #1,000,003
The Death Star was originally a nickname for a star shaped ring that Chuck used to wear.


Ok, thats all I can come up with for now, hope you all like them and hopefully you all got something better.

Dhagon Krayt

Thank you and keep 'em commin'. This is the right place for humor. How many of you have seen American Jedi? How many of you have seen Hardware Wars?

Br. John

And don't forget the timeless classic from Mel Brooks........ Space Balls.

hehhhehehhehhee. \"oh, dark helmet; Your helmet is soooo........\"

American Jedi

http://TempleOfTheJediFarce.org/humor/AmericanJedi.mov

Right Click and download ...

Br. John

Laughter is the best medicine. I enjoy a good laugh myself after a couple hours of reading in the forum and studying. Good idea.

Thumb wars. all the way

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If.......

Your Jedi robe is a Camouflage color.
You have ever used your Light Saber to open a bottle of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill.
You think the best use of your light saber is picking your teeth.
At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.
There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.
You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.
You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.
The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.
Wookies are offended by your B.O.
You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
You have ever used a light-saber to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.
Your father has ever said to you, \"Shoot, son come on over t' the dark side... it'll be a hoot.\"
You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the bar-b-q grill to light.

LOL!! I love it

Very good.

Someone put a lot of thought into that.

Very good.

Someone put a lot of thought into that.

Thank you all, I can't take credit though.

Has anyone else seen this. What could be better than a bust of Goerge Lucas done in legos?

Just seen American Jedi and I never laughed so much

MTFBWY

Anakin

http://ReallyNeed2Know.info/humor_videos1/hardwarewars.mpeg

141MB Right Click and save ...

This was the First Star Wars spoof.

Br. John

lol legos will always rule lol. i just wish they had the same stuff they do now back when i was really into them.

Here are a few more...forgive me for the repeated ones:

You might be a redneck Jedi Knight if...

1.) Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.

2.) You use your lightsaber to open a non-twist-off bottle of Bud.

3.) There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.

4.) You use your lightsaber to pick your teeth.

5.) At least one section of your X-Wing is Bondo colored.

6.) You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.

7.) You can't describe the taste of an Ewok without using the word chicken.

8.) You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.

9.) You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.

10.) A peaceful meditation is one without gas.

11.) You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE force.

12.) Your master/mentor ever said \"Hey, pull my finger...\"

13.) Your X-wing is up on blocks in your front yard.

14.) You lost a hand during a lightsaber fight because you had to spit.

15.) The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.

16.) Wookies are offended by your B.O.

17.) You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

18.) You use your lightsaber to clean fish.

19.) Your father said to you, \"Shoot, son come on over ta' the dark side... it'll be a hoot.\"

20.) You use your R-2 unit's self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.

21.) The moonshine still you built on Endor is hidden so well even the Ewoks can't find it.

22.) You have a stuffed womp rat over your fireplace.

23.) You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.

24.) You think the symbol for the Rebel Alliance should be the Confederate flag.

25.) More than half the droids you own don't function.

26.) The number of blasters you own exceeds your I.Q.

27.) You wonder why Luke and Leia never got married.

28.) You used a carbon-freezing chamber to store the 78 Wampas you shot while on vacation on Hoth.

29.) Your moonshine is really made on the moon.

30.) You don't like wearing a Jedi robe because it prevents access to the dip stored in your back pocket.

31.) Sandpeople back down from your mama.

32.) You've ever used Jedi mind control to talk your way out of a speeding ticket or DUI.

33.) You've ever strangled someone with the force because they laughed at your accent.

34.) You built an outhouse over the Sarlaac.

35.) You've ever argued with a Jawa over scavenging rights to a broken droid.

36.) A Wookie has told you that you need to shave.

37.) You have ever wrecked a landspeeder while lighting a cigarette with your lightsaber.

38.) You don't think the Ewoks are primitive.

39.) You think an AT-AT looks like a giant cow.

40.) You don't think Jabba's pig guards have a hygiene problem.

41.) You consider your lightsaber the ultimate bug zapper.

42.) The Rancor monster refused to eat you.

43.) You discover that your greatest enemy is, in fact, your father, who also happens to be your brother...

You could be a redneck Jedi if
You've heard heard the phrase, \"May the force be with y'all.\"

The doors on your X-Wing are welded shut and you have to get in through the windows.

Your Jedi robe is camouflage colored.

You got fake bullet holes, lotto tickets, smashed windows and a whole heap more on your speeder.

That 'Disturbance in the Force' was just last night's baked beans.

You've had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.

You refer to Yoda as your Li'l green buddy.

You have ever used a light saber to light the barbecue grill.

Your Father's name is Garth Vader.

You've ever given someone a wedgie by using the Force.

You're beer belly puts Jabba's to shame.

Your idea of a practical joke is stickin a banana in Boba Fett's tail pipe.

You've ever fantasized about Princess Leah in a pair of tight Daisy Duke shorts.

The cake at your wedding was sliced with a lightsabor.

You asked to be buried with your LightSaber.

You use your lightsabre as a bug zapper.

You're flying a ship which has no original parts.

You got fuzzy dice hanging in the cockpit of your X-Wing.

You say 'these are not the beers you are looking for.'

* You have a Confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.

* You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.

* Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.

* You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

* You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood deck.

* You were the only one drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.

* Your business cards read \"Billy Bob, Jedi Master\".

* Your Y-wing fighter has a bumper sticker that reads \"My other fighter is an X-wing\".

* You know Ewoks squeal like pigs.

* You use your R-2 unit as a beer coaster.

* When your sister wears her metallic bikini, you insist she travels by clinging to you while swinging on a rope.

* Your land-speeder had a light saber rack.

* Your land-speeder has a bumper sticker that reads \"Protected by Smith & Wesson Light Sabers\"

* If you hear ... \"Billy Bob, I am your father ... AND your uncle!\"

You wonder why Luke and Leia never got married.

A Wookie has told you that you need to shave.

LOL, you truly are our minister of Mirth my friend.

I always liked:

\" Old Jedis Never Die....They Just Fade In And Out........\"

Ok, these aren't really Jedi or Star Wars related, but I thought you'd all get a kick out of them and since they aren't dirty or anything, I thought it'd be ok to post them. I can not take credit for them, someone sent them to me, since they made me laugh, I figured I'd share the wealth. Here goes.

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murderered?

Why do you have to \"put your two cents in\".. but it's only a \"penny for your thoughts\"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they \"slept like a baby\" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.


Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song
about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a
coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why
didn't he just buy dinner?


If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?


Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere,
but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Food for thought I guess.

DK