Nobility has its cost

So the other night/ into the morning i was hanging out with my best friend, having a few drinks, when i began to realize he wasn;t exactly in his right mind anymore. The sun was coming up and he was still drunk... i mean falling over and stumbling several times, and still said he was fine and wanted to drive home since he had work the next day.

this is when i blatantly told him i don't agree with anyone driving in that state, not so much that they are a danger to themsleves, but innocent others, i mean this was EIGHT in the morning and he was still GONE. He tried to get into his car and when i dove in through the passenger side to stop him, he dropped his keys, and said he wouldn;t give them to me.

i had no other choice, i punched him in the jaw several times until he said he'd let me go around to the driver's side to grab the keys, go back into the house and we could talk, all i could do was stall for time. this was also the second time he got into the car, the first time he had the engine started and the doors locked, hence my resort to violence this second time. we went back into the house, and agreed that he would wrestle to submit me and i could strike him however i saw fit, and if he could win he would have his keys, since obviously there would be no more i could do.

the fight wasnt graceful i nearly broke my hand over his face and head, and in the end, he choked me out because of his wrestling moves. once regaining consciousness, i quickly had to vomit, he handed me a bottle of water, and stayed for a while to make sure i was okay. i had a black eye, bloody nose, and multiple bruises. his face looked like someone went to town on him, brutally. i didnt realise i hit him that hard. bottom line, the battle i started, i lost. but after 45 mins or more of fighting, he had sobered up immensely, and i had no more energy to stop him, while i was out he had taken his keys from my pocket anyway.

theres no bad blood between us, i talked to him afterwards, and he and everyone else agree that it was more of a fight between brothers, where so much emotion leads to a battle. but it wasnt emotion to me. i told him that he wouldnt leave, he said id have to use violence to stop him, so i did.

really im just wondering others' opinions. as i actually find this a bit funny since he's my friend, but i believe in what i did and would try again if i had to, even if i failed. he was neverthelss still a danger on the road even when he left.

MTFBYW
- Hanbul Lantem, still hunching over in pain after two days, :laugh:

I think the noblest action to take, before he runs over several people or crashes his car and gets someone (or several) killed, would have been to get him arrested

At least you tried to stop him however

I thought of that, and obviously the "toughest" of love (since i love him like a brother) would have been to call authorities whom have the ultimate power of the law of my country over myself. there's just one problem with that. he's been arrested twice before, for misdemeamors, one of which was a battle he saught over another 'friend' years ago, and the charge was public distrubance. however, at the time i cannot say that i was totally clear of mind as even though i had probably sobered up by 8 in the morning, i was tired, and my speech would have appeared slurred even though my BAC would not have been over legal limits by that time. true though, i had his license plate number, his make and model of car, and the probable course, but definate destination of his house.

if this should happen again, aside from my obvious lack of martial skills in physical combat ability, even though my build proved to provide brute force against him... really though? call the cops if it happens again? call on my brother instead of dissolving the problem between ourselves?

if he left, the response by proper authorities in my opinion, at that time, would not have been fast enough, he could have hurt others before they located him. that's why i resorted to the violence that happened, a noble battle which i lost with honor.

he wants me to sparr with him in the future. i have two other friends with martial arts skills who could teach me how to take down someone like him. but i think if i sparred with him as well he would eventually teach me his own weaknesses.

my entire point is that i thought the authorities would not have been efficient enough. i wanted NO accidents and NO injuries or even deaths on his part. i picked up my louisville slugger to start the combat. no exceptions. lol

Hindsight is 20/20 so I will tell you this;

Knowing now that he is able to subdue you with his wrestling moves and that he has previous arrests, it may be wiser to take his keys and walk away from him. If he was so fall down drunk, retreat may be the better part of valor, this way he could not follow you and his keys would be unavailable.

My only fear would be what happens the next time this situation arises and you aren't there to prevent it?

I would agree with Phortis as well. Seems worth a try if this were to happen again in your presence

Wow...that's an interesting story you shared.

Here's another option: how about not getting so fall-over drunk? Moderation and all...it's not just a Jedi thing, haha.

MTFBWY,
LTK

Everybody is coming up with alternative solutions which is great, but I just wanted to say that I think you did a good thing. Especially since no bad blood was created. Your friend now knows that you do not condone drunk driving. Maybe that will make him think about it in the future.

Hanbul Lantem wrote: i had no other choice, i punched him in the jaw several times until he said he'd let me go around to the driver's side to grab the keys...

damn, dude, you gotta work on that first punch strength. was it a hook, jab, uppercut, etc? placement is key. check out his stance from your peripheral vision. does he expect it? a sucker punch uppercut to the underside of the jaw may be the way to go, or a hook to the temple if you have to twist slightly to get that angle. helps with force of impact if you get your whole body behind it. jabs are usually harrassing blows, to throw often and wear an opponent down and make him keep his distance. if your like me, and it seems you are from the choke out, you have little ground game and rely on punch/kick strength to finish the job.

all that aside, good for you. i dont think i would let him drive either. and a little scrap among friends is usually alright as long as yall dont take it too serious. i have had a couple of broken ribs, many split lips, black eyes and bruises. but you should see the other guys.

(drums-ba dum ch)

I agree with some of the others - I commend you for not shying away from your duty to stop him from driving. Some people would have found it easier to say "I've tried to persuade him and he's not listening, so I've done what I can and it's not my problem".

I think that one of our aims as Jedi is to reach a point where, in such a situation, we would have the calmness and clarity of mind to come up with as many different options as possible in a split second. Hopefully in that instance, a punch-up would not be the end result.

But in this instance, it seemed the only option available to you, so I don't think you can be faulted for doing it, especially knowing that you were putting yourself at risk of getting hurt

I personally think your actions and thinking were very admirable. You chose to prevent him from driving peacefully. Then, the second time, you didn't hesitate to put your morals to action and force. I personally think you used violence appropriately and, in general, violence is sometimes a viable option - Jedi don't believe in absolutes, after all (no never or always).


And the entire situation was quite unique. I mean you fought your best friend pretty brutally, and both of you inflicted pretty severe damages onto the other. However, you then explained that after the fight, you two were still friends.

I digress - I think this is beautiful to hear. I've personally had many friends abandon me in the past for far milder reasons....the fact that you both are still friends after (basically) a death match means that you're friendship is actually a lot more developed and durable than you might have originally thought.

I thought your situation was unique because you described the conflict, and fight, as a "fight between brothers" with "no bad blood". The way I see it - the way you described this, it seemed you were ultimately forced to fight him (sometimes, that's the only way to make a brother listen), and you did. You didn't chicken away and let him crash himself while driving drunk.

Very admirable actions and thinking, Hanbul. I think you did the right things. So did your friend.