Why do people lie

Ok I know this is bad but have you ever talked to some one and was thinking wow way to just lie to me. I don't know how people you call friends can do it just look you in the eye and lie to your face. I know some people do it to make the self look better, or to tell things in the side they believe is right. The more you look at things in this world should we not just call people out on their lies or do we let them just tell it and forget it. I may just start calling people out on it if I know it's a lie or if I find out later it's a lie and I think if we all do this maybe just maybe people won't lie anymore. Even the fish you got the last time you went fishing that was 8 in say it was 8 not 10. If we all change just the one little lie we tell maybe others may do it as well. MTFBWY.

I know what you mean. I guess we all find ourselves in this situation at some point, and it's never easy to know how to respond when someone is clearly lying to your face.

You can pretty much split the possible reasons for lying into two categories:

- selfish reasons
- unselfish reasons (e.g. to try to protect the person from a truth that could hurt them, for the greater good, etc...)

I believe that lying for selfish reasons is wrong, unless perhaps it is to get yourself out of a dangerous situation which you should not be in. Lying for other reasons...well I guess that depends on the situation. For instance...a woman runs past you shouting "Help, he's trying to kill me!". You see her turn left. Shortly afterwards an apparent madman with an axe runs up to you and asks which direction she went in. Would you tell him left (the way she went), right, or say that you don't know? Two of them are lying, of course.

Equally, lying for unselfish reasons isn't automatically the right cause of action either. Sometimes people might be better off if you just told them the truth rather than trying to shield them from it for what you consider to be their own good.

It's a difficult thing to weigh up and if someone has thought about it and honestly believes that they are doing the right thing by lying, you cannot feel too angry with them. Lying out of selfishness, impulsiveness or a lack of consideration as to the best course of action...these are not good reasons for lying. I hope very much that the person who lied to you did not fall into that category.

Lying is often based on and in fear. The fear of not being accepted is but one example. It is always the best policy to speak the truth. Realize however that some have yet to learn truth is best.

Careful not to judge another for the path they are on. Recognizing the lie allows you to make clear choices on your path without the lie misleading you. Being aware.. more connected with energy (the force) is after all what we are all seeking.

namaste

Well, to the question wether or not to call someone out on a lie y think it depends on the person and what kind of relationship you have with that person. It also depends on the stuation. For instance:

If I am talking with a friend and he clearly lies to my face I would (kind of in a humourous way/tone) say to him: "that´s bullshit and you know it man".

If that person is not someone I know well enough to do that, then I would possibly just let him/her keep talking, or maybe frown and ask in a suspicious tone "really?" giving him/her the chance to undo the lie.

If it is a friend who is telling the lie but we are with more people that are not common friends (I mean his/hers and mine) then I would not call him out on it because I would be making him look bad and that would be wrong, even if what he is doing is wrong as well. Maybe if the situation calls for it I would aproach him later and ask him why he told it, or just, in the same humorous way/tone as before tell him something like "man that was totally a lie/bullshit".

Thats simple the lie out of fear or compassion. Its the only to reasons that i could see any one lying for.


To spare them selves or to spare others.

In Japan, lying to protect others from even something as trivial as mild disappoint is a common thing, and I have attempted to incorporate Dr. Brad Blanton's Radical Honesty technique into my daily life while here, and discovered that, in a country that is built around lying to save face, such ideas are not only alien but almost taboo in practice. Honour and honesty do not fall into the same bowl, according to the Japanese.

This "lying" that is engrained into their lives can be seen simply as subtlety, or a strategy to ensure the other party's feelings are not hurt. I'm sure many have heard the phrase, "See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil." This is a Japanese idea often depicted by 三匹の猿, or The Three Monkeys (which is also the name of a brilliant sandwich shop in Preston, England). It has many meanings, but since the Muromachi period it has been one of the "golden rules", as dictated by the samurai of that time upon introduction of shintoism into Japan.

To the Japanese, being completely honest whilst disregarding others' feelings on the matter is viewed as an evil, therefore it is better not mentioned if it may hurt someone. If it is mentioned, that person will then feel it best not to show they are hurt. If they do show that they are hurt, it is best to pretend you don't see the reaction, so as to reduce their humiliation. Lying can also be seen as a method of avoiding needless conflict (and especially in the 14th century, it was deemed necessary to avoid bloodshed).

However for me, in today's society, the ideal of radical honesty is one of many that can certainly help in the way of the Force. Though for many people diplomacy can be difficult without some slight truth-bending, it is definitely possible. I also believe there is always a way to preserve someone's feelings whilst remaining truthful to them.

I think it's human nature to lie really...

I don't think it would be a good thing if no one lied anymore.

How would you politly tell a pair of parents that their new born child looks ugly ass hell?

But more important, what the point of pointing it out?

Obviously its not always okay to lie, especially when someone will face negative consequences due to your lies. But being honest all the time is no good either.

Alot of times we lie about stuff which are mere oppinions. Someone buys new shoes, they like them, you think they're ugly. Yet you say 'They look nice'. And why wouldnt you?

If everyone said what they were thinking (which is the ultimate version of telling the truth) the world would be lost in petty arguments and I for one would probebly have lost alot of friends over totally unimportant oppinions about shoes.

Telling the occasional little wight lie to protect someone's feelings; including your own, is fine in my book. But when someone is blatantly telling you a load of bull, that's when I find lies offensive.

In some cases I think lying is almost an illness. My cousins soon to be ex wife is a prime example. She's a compulsive liar and has finally admitted that she lies and does it without evening realising. It has gotten so bad that it almost caused her mum and dads best friends marriage to end and was one of key factors for her own marriage to my cousin to break down.

People lie to gain something, usually money, or out of fear of telling the truth. In other cases it may be to simply protect someone's feelings, as many people have already pointed out here. For me lying out of fear is probably the most damaging form lying. I don't mind if people lie to gain something for themselves, firstly because it's usually blatantly obvious that they are lying and secondly because I can't see that they would really be satisfied with what they have gained if they have gained it through a lack of morals. I've met a lot of people like that and I now feel that, if they want to be like that let them be like that, I'm not going to associate with them or do any sort of 'business' with them and I expect most people would do the same.

I find lying out of fear is so bad because it's usually for a short term gain. The phrase "lies have short legs" seems like a good way to explain that. At first your lie might be of benefit to you / others but in the long run it's only going to catch up with you and bite you on the ass. More importantly it can be damaging. To use an example one of my best friends was going through quite a rough time and was drinking a heinous amount. To give you an idea of how much he was drinking, we go to the pub (or bar if you're American) every Tuesday together and whilst I would drink a pint or nothing at all, he would usually have 5+ pints as well as 1 or more whiskeys. He would keep asking me "Am I drinking too much?" and I wouldn't know what to say, I felt like I had to lie because I didn't want to make him feel worse than he already did. After this had gone on for a couple of months, one evening together I decided to be honest. I told him that he was drinking too much and that he was also drinking for the wrong reasons. Since then he has cut down massively and we are much closer but had I not told him the truth who knows how bad he might have become?

Another kind of 'lying' that grinds my gears is bitching. Bitching for me is lying if you are saying horrible things about someone behind their back but then acting like a good friend to their face. For one thing it's simply a really nasty character trait and two faced thing to do but it also shows a great deal of insecurity on the bitcher's (if that's a word) behalf.

A hypothetical situation:

You are living in Nazi Germany in WW2
You are hiding Jews in your household
A German officer knocks on your door and says: "We have been given orders to round up all the Jews and send them to concentration camps where their conditions will be awful, they might be subject to scientific experiments and they will, in almost all likely hood, end up dying and have their body burnt/buried unceremoniously in a ditch"

My question to you... Do you say yes and tell the truth? Or would you consider perhaps lying...


Each situation is different and lying can most certainly be justified

The best way you yourself can decide on whether lying was justified is to ask yourself 'Was that the right thing to do?'

If you can plainly and honestly say 'Yes' then you're fine. But if you have to think for a bit and then end up justifying it to yourself then you probably made the wrong (or very questionable) choice

I would argue that the worst kind of lie is a half truth. It isn't something completely wrong, but because there's some truth in it people will believe. Half truths are more likely to be 'talked' into truth than an outright lie ever could be. That is why they are so damaging

This doesn't really go into the question itself, but these are some of my thoughts on lying