Mother's Day

So, today is Mother's Day, or Mothering Sunday, in the UK. I'm not sure whether there is an equivalent in other countries across the world?

Basically, we're all supposed to give thanks for our mothers and all of the effort that they put in for us over our lives. It's become this massive commercialized thing, in the same vein as Christmas, or Valentine's Day, and you are now pretty much expected to buy a card, flowers and a present for your mother.

In the Church of England it's quite a big annual thing, and the Church service this morning revolved around it being Mother's Day. A lot of the words in the normal service were adapted to go on about how our mothers are always there for us and always love and care for us.

Now I have a bit of an issue with all this. To cut a long story short, my mother hardly goes out of her way to love and care for me. For all intents and purposes, my Dad has been my mother for a long time now. Or at least, he has been doing all of the things that, according to the service this morning, only mothers do. We do also have Father's Day over here, but it's nothing like such a big deal, and the Church doesn't really take any notice of it. I therefore found myself unable to join in with congregational responses affirming how important our mothers are, and I highly disapproved of the (female) priest doing the sermon putting an apron on and going on about how aprons are a sign of motherhood, because mothers cook and provide for us. My mother has never bothered to cook anything for me, or do much in the way of providing.

I know that my father also finds mothers day quite offensive and hurtful. He can't avoid going to church on Mother's Day because he's the church organist, and he was upset afterwards at a lot of the wording of the service, and I had to use a lot of effort to persuade someone to give me some of the special flowers that are given out for people to give to their mothers, to give to him.

I think that Mothers Day is a completely outdated concept. I would firmly support it being turned into 'Parents Day' or 'Family Day', and think that this would be far more fitting for modern times. But I can't see this ever happening.

I was wondering whether anyone else had any thoughts?

I'd go for Parents Day, easy. Especially with the alarming number of single moms/dads out there, separating these days of celebration according to gender role just doesn't make sense anymore.

Oh, and there is a Mother's Day in the US as well, but it's in May. That really threw me for a loop when I was walking around London seeing all the Mother's Day signs. Made me panic a bit that I had forgotten! Haha.

Mothers are given the adulation of the crowd.
Fathers are given the quiet moment with their children.

Your father raised you. That is all that matters. Forget what they say. They presume that everything is perWfect, that everything fits into their notion of reality. In a perfect world, they'd be right. Yet show me a perfect world, and I'll show you someone's imagination.

This is your father's day. This day isn't for the one who birthed you. The act of birth simply means you're female. A mother raises you and takes care of you. I suppose you heard a great deal of that from the sermon, but in essence, your father is (As you state) your mother. Therefore, this day is as much his as it is a female's. I don't care how fancy their hat is. Nobody is normal, nothing works perfectly. What matters is that he did the best he could so that you could be normal, so you could work as perfectly as he could get for you. He saw the failings and worked to make them so they weren't your failings.

I would support a family day. Because anyone can pop out a baby and say "I'm a parent!" No, what really matters, as your father proves, is the bond of the family. I've seen adopted children loved more by the family whom they bear no genetic link to than the ones who made him in the first place. Blood is thicker than water, but blood, sweat, and tears, forged through long nights to ensure your child has a better place means more than the stars.

In the end: I support family day.
And go give your da a hug. This is his day, he's earned it. No matter what the fancy hats say.