There is no hope for the world anymore, so close your windows and lock your doors.
This was the beginning of a poem I once wrote in high school. My parents had divorced and I felt like no one understood me. I had no choice but to turn to my darker nature. I have been pagan, wiccan, druidic, shamanic, into demonolotry, and for a hot second almost a Satanist. I have been so lost for so long over a great long period of time. I had no choice. The world was so complicated and I didn’t know where I fit in. When the world seemed dark and nothing went my way I believed in dark things, when light I believed in light things. I have been over critical to people about jobs and school and I have been to nice to people who might not have deserved such kindness. And most of this happened before I ever even got here to the temple. I feel that when I arrived I was still a mess but more open and ready to accept the difficult tasks at hand. Helping to mold another person into a Jedi and to teach them what it means to be truly themselves. It took me a very long time to accept that a title is only as good as the person who wields them. Not the other way around. And now, after all of this, I realize that I have choices and I control my emotions not the other way around. I feel I have come a long way from where I once was and am even developing my lessons for a possible future apprentice. I have been giving thought to even someday opening my own church or learning center for spiritual beliefs and religious studies.
So, with all of that said remember that no Jedi or Sith begins their life as such. It is something developed over a period of time, even years. We may fall from time to time but if this path is true for you then you will learn to pick yourself up again and again. You will learn just as I have that nothing is as critical as you make it out to seem, not even death. So for all you apprentices who are struggling at the moment, remember that you may not struggle forever and to be patient with yourself above all others.
May the Force be with and guide you
