Thoughts on smoking/vaping ?

Most of the kids who smoke live in homes with adults who smoke and have several factors nudging them towards smoking. The first is simply the mimicry that comes with exposure. People (even adults) have a tendency to adopt the behaviors of their closest peers and the customs of their most frequented environments. “When in Rome, do as the Romans.” as they say. Or is it “monkey see, monkey do”? Either way, the more we observe a behavior, the more familiar it becomes, the easier it is for us to engage in it.

There’s also autonomy and empowerment. Parents who smoke dont (as a general rule) allow their nine year olds to smoke. They say “no, youre not old enough for cigarettes”. Nine year olds are used to being told “no” and after learning cigarettes are unhealthy, usually insist that theyll never smoke anyway. So why is it that by fifteen they will be pinching cigarettes every time their parent/s turn around?

One of the inherent messages in “you're not old enough” is that adults are people who have the power to do what they want to do, and children arent. This message is understood at a basic level in children and a common aspect of adolescence is an infatuation with choices and behaviors that are associated with with adulthood and autonomy; or at least with “older-ness”. I mean the fun choices like drinking and driving. Not necessarily the mature/responsible choices like waking up at 4:30AM to go to work and pay the car note and insurance. So there is an element of forging a personal identity that can appeal to a young person: I have the power to make my own choices and mom/dad cant stop me. Oh, the irony of developing a chemical dependence because we want to feel independent!

And it doesnt help that all (or at least, most) of the coolest and toughest heroes in the best action movies from the late 70s onward have all been smokers (though this trend may be changing). From The Man with No Name to the man who told us his name is Bond, James Bond; Phillip Morris has spent a lot of money to drive into peoples heads an association between tobacco and awesomeness. We have less-than-fully-consious associations of using tobacco with being not just independent, but also bold, tough, even sexy. All of which are deceptions because theres nothing sexy about smelling and tasting like an ashtray and smoking seriously decreases athletic performance. Cardio is one of the most important physical attributes in an unarmed fight and (unless youre under water) its impossible to be tough when you cant breath.

Theres another reason to smoke which is probably even more compelling, however, and that is socialization. Cigarettes are already familiar (and usually accessible) to kids whose parents smoke. As a behavior that is against the rules, theyre exciting. When enough kids are doing it, a little community forms around the smoking spots. Certain bathrooms or parking areas or tucked-away little corners of the school (or very near to it) become hubs of social activity for the smoking crowd. Smoking gives a kid a reason to hang out in a place with other kids and an easy tool for interaction: “hey man, can you spare a square, I’ll get you back tomorrow?” “Uh could you cut me shorts on that, im out” etc. This can emerge in different ways and at different ages but the basic point is that smoking offers a context and opportunity for making friends. Me and my buddies used to laugh at the kids with lesser developed social presentation skills who were obviously just smoking to to fit in. We’d say “such and such just wants to be cool”.... Shows how dumb we were lol, at the heart of it thats why we were smoking, too. Fun fact: kids who participate in extra-curricular activities which afford them healthy opportunities to socialize are several times less likely to smoke (or drink or do drugs) than kids who dont (athletics, music, activity clubs, etc).

I told myself that i smoked because I liked smoking. That was mostly a self deception because when i said it, i intended it to mean that i enjoyed either the taste of the cigarette or the feeling of drawing smoke into my lungs and experiencing the physiological results. I told myself these lies because i didn't want to face up to the fact that i was using cigarettes as a bridge to interact with other people. What I enjoyed was being one of the “smoking kids”. I enjoyed the excitement of it when i first started (a sort of contest between us and the school faculty) and i enjoyed the opportunity for community (and sometimes status) that it provided me. Thats why most of the other kids were doing it, too.

Adults who smoke are mostly just kids who smoke that got older. Its a very small number of adult long term smokers who started in their twenties or later. Outside of school theres no longer a community built around smoking and the fact that no one is trying to catch us at it anymore makes it completely unexciting. We keep doing it because its addictive, simple as that. For me, there came a point when i was too aware of my own body and my own feelings to believe any of the lies i told myself about how i enjoyed smoking. Cigarettes taste horrible and they make your mouth gross. I especially disliked smoking after brushing my teeth and using mouthwash because my mouth felt fresh and clean and the first drag would completely ruin that. But i was in a cycle of compulsion and usually did it anyway. Everyone remembers the first time they inhaled; and choked, lol. Choked and coughed and gagged and felt dizzy and disoriented. Might even have felt like vomiting. We all ignored our bodies, that day. Because we associated cigarettes with something that appealed to us, we ignored how awful the actual, physical experience of smoking them was.

We got better at ignoring as time went on. We learned to suppress the coughing reflex (which was a sign of healthy lungs) and developed a regular pattern of consumption and thus, a tolerance, so the disconcerting nicotine buzz didn't typically affect us. A note on that: Its not even a pleasant buzz. Its one of those buzzes i describe as “feels like my brain is tingling because of how rapidly I'm killing my brain cells”. Or like “fog in the head”. Marijuana never felt that way. Neither did alcohol, at the time of drinking. The only thing i can compare it to is maybe huffing. Thankfully, i never really got in to huffing but i did try it a couple of times. The buzz felt like i was probably getting dumber by the minute. I think the first time i did it made me dumb enough to do it a second time. Luckily, i could tell it wasnt going anywhere good and let it go, but the buzz was similar to tobacco in that it really felt unhealthy.

We engrain cigarettes into our lifestyles and cling to certain lies that we tell ourselves to justify it. Over the years these lies feel more and more true, but they arent. Common examples are that smoking relaxes us or helps us concentrate. Nicotine is a stimulant so we can dismiss relaxation right off the bat. Its chemically impossible for a stimulant to help us relax. The reality is that nicotine is addictive and withdrawals cause discomfort, which we relieve by ingesting more nicotine. Smoking relaxes us only to the extent that it relieves the withdrawal symptoms that it, itself causes. And how relaxed can you be when you know that you are literally poisoning yourself, anyway? As we age, we notice the effects more and more and it becomes more and more stressful worrying about whether we’ll get cancer or have a heart attack because we cant stop smoking.

Nicotine slightly (about 5%) increases mental functioning of un-addicted rats. However; “Long-term smoking has been linked with reductions in working memory, prospective memory – that used for everyday tasks such as keeping an appointment or taking medication on time – and executive function, which helps us plan tasks, pay attention to current activities, and ignore distractions.”
https://theconversation.com/smoking-harms-not-just-your-physical-health-but-your-mental-health-too-69021

The one instance of enjoyment that had any merit was that occasionally, the first couple of drags had some kind of pleasant effect. This seemed more pronounced sometimes after eating or while drinking coffee or alcohol. Besides the facts that eating often takes long enough for withdrawals to start kicking in, we drink our first cup of coffee in the morning (by which time we are definitely going to crave a smoke) and alcohol (another poison) changes our sense perceptions in weird ways, anyhow. Im not entirely sure why there are occasionally some relatively pleasant moments but im definitely sure that the few instances of enjoying the first couple drags are completely trivial next to cancer, heart disease, decreased athletic ability, decreased cognitive function, ashtray mouth and general chemical dependence. Most of the drags we take are not that pleasant, even if a few of them are. We don't do it because we enjoy it, we do it because we’re addicted. We cant stop doing it so we lie to ourselves. We create a rationale that it brings us pleasure because its human nature to behave and then build rationales to justify our behavior.

Probably the most useful things i can tell you about quitting are: 1) you have to keep trying. Its not a pass/fail contest, its a lifestyle decision.
2) most of the difficulty of quitting comes from our expectation that its hard to quit. The discomfort of nicotine withdrawal is a lot like being hungry; yea its irritating but you can handle it.
3) behavior change works best by adding new behaviors into your routines. Try joining a gym or beginning an exercise program or going to new places where people people aren't smoking.
3) If you have anxiety around people and you use cigarettes to self-sooth, try leaning how to yo-yo. Or shuffle cards. Or anything you can do with your hands that you can distract yourself with.... hmm, probably your phone, now that i think of it.
4) Smokers usually hang out with other smokers so maybe avoid your friends. Or, if you have any non-smoking friends, try to hang out with them more often. Or become a loner for awhile.
Those were the most important factors for me when i quit. You can do it.

Some respurces
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/quit-smoking/in-depth/quit-smoking/art-20045452

https://www.allencarr.com/usa/easyway-quit-smoking/

This video is awesome and relatively short
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z16vhtjWKL0