Why do people hate?

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05 Sep 2019 18:34 #343342 by ZealotX
Why do people hate? was created by ZealotX
Simple question. I'm hoping that from the answers we can see possible methods to help bring people out of hatred. I'm a firm believer in talking things out and I think a lot of people need some form of therapy just to be heard. I think there is a tendency for people (in general) not to care about others unless it affects them. And if people see you doing something bad, maybe even something that lands you in jail, people simply feel even more justified in not caring about any of your situation that led you to that point. But people didn't simply wake up one day in a KKK grand wizard outfit. It was a path. And in some cases people who maybe seemed like good people contributed to that path. So why do people hate? And is there anything we can do to stop that hatred?

May the Force be with you
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05 Sep 2019 18:46 #343345 by Proteus
Replied by Proteus on topic Why do people hate?
Hate seems to spring from fear, either consciously or subconsciously. Just saying "fear" though, is not clear enough as you would have have to understand how fear works and specifically what kind of fear is in play within an individual or collective unconscience. Fear can either be manifested within the moment or be very slowly developed over a span of years. Fear seems to spring from the unknown. As we lack understanding, we can't predict what will come of something, so as a survival mechanism, we assume the worst to be prepared. Fear manifests, and hatred follows, all in defense for survival.

The solution, therefore, seems to be education. Help people not only understand what they hate, but they must be able to trust the source of information to assimilate to it.

This all applies not only to hating other people but also toward ourselves, which is probably the most important of all.

It seems that I know that I know.
What I would like to see is the 'I' that knows me when I know that I know that I know.
- Alan Watts
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05 Sep 2019 19:24 - 05 Sep 2019 19:28 #343346 by Carlos.Martinez3
Why I hate.

In this world I can only speak for myself. I may share a few ideas with others but for the most part - it’s all me. Why I hate?
I was taught to hate. Even better, I was taught to act. As a lifetime of practice became my own hate - there it dwelled and grew on its own easily. I fed it. I lived and welcomed it. During life on the street ,it drove me to survive- during war it preserved me to never quit. Hate can be used like a tool - we can truly wield it or let it go without control as well. That was me. Hate - I get hate a lot. From day one. I’m used to it. I got it too. No one can swear quite like me- I’m sure over a few pints some can challenge me - loser pays the round! Lol Hate for me , came automatic most time, it was like a equal sign at the end of a formula I already knew the answer to. Eventually I made it my own personal mission to get better.
Now, it’s my practice to not hate. Even to the point of re wording words in my own mind when I hear em live in the real world. ( I translate in my mind what I hear- just me-aka I remove hate)

The hate I see is mostly blind. Blind hate. I’m convinced if we just fed each other and met each other in real life - how are we gunna hate each other when we are out just bowling or eating or drinking or living with each other ?
My defense is acceptance over tolerance. Helps with my own personal hate. If I accept people for what they are- I don’t have to tolerate anything.


Hate left inside makes ya moldy !!

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Last edit: 05 Sep 2019 19:28 by Carlos.Martinez3.
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05 Sep 2019 20:03 #343349 by ZealotX
Replied by ZealotX on topic Why do people hate?
@Carlos

That was kind of beautiful, man. Good post.
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05 Sep 2019 20:05 #343350 by ZealotX
Replied by ZealotX on topic Why do people hate?
I heard fear. Fear is a good one. I'd like to go deeper on fear as causation.

but also, what about pain? Can pain, untreated, twist itself into other negative symptoms like hate?
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05 Sep 2019 20:52 #343354 by elizabeth
Replied by elizabeth on topic Why do people hate?

ZealotX wrote: I heard fear. Fear is a good one. I'd like to go deeper on fear as causation.

but also, what about pain? Can pain, untreated, twist itself into other negative symptoms like hate?



Pain usually causes you to withdraw, you loose a sense of connection with others and so you cant always empathise. I would say this makes it easier in a sense to hate others.
Emotional pain is usually accompanied by self hate and you can't extend love if you can't feel it for yourself.

I don't find hate is always fear. People use that argument a lot but sometimes hate starts with love.

I tend to think hate comes from disconnection. A feeling we are outsiders from something,.
It is sometimes learned behaviour too, if you grow up only knowing hate then its normal.

Not that any emotion isnt normal. How we deal with it and what our actions are matter. Hates just a normal storm.

I never loose.


TM Karn
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05 Sep 2019 21:06 #343356 by JamesSand
Replied by JamesSand on topic Why do people hate?
"Rudeness is merely an expression of fear. People fear they won't get what they want. The most dreadful and unattractive person only needs to be loved, and they will open up like a flower." - Yoda
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05 Sep 2019 21:42 - 05 Sep 2019 21:44 #343357 by Dao and De
Replied by Dao and De on topic Why do people hate?
I'm searching for an answer to this question, myself. Lately I've been struggling with a deep and profound hatred of someone who hurt me. I've loved and lost several times, but it's never been quite like this before, and thankfully a certain part of me is self-aware enough to realize that hatred isn't the answer. There is something extremely cathartic about the idea of making this person feel deep, excruciating emotional/psychological pain, the idea of getting them to feel the way that I feel. As if it will prove some kind of point that I feel was missed. Thankfully I only cut myself off from them instead. I don't want to become someone who hurts others for relief. But still, all my attempts at self-reflection are inevitably cut short by this burning desire for revenge, that just seems to self-reinforce the more I think about it and consume all other rationale, until I force myself to forget. Even now as I write this I'm tempted instead to explain the opposite viewpoint--the one that I know is wrong, and that I need to tether myself to a mental "rock" in order to find my way back from--which is that there DO exist people who lack the capacity for empathy, who inherently reject genuine human connection and substitute it with devices for control, who lie pathologically and who will wring all the life out of anyone who gets too close until they've been used up, and then discard them like a wet paper towel. And that these people deserve to have every bit of the pain they've caused dished back at them, with interest, and then some. And that maybe, just maybe, the world could be better off without them...

Of course, I remind myself, even the most emotionally disconnected among us are only acting out of pain, and when I think of this person in that way, I understand completely--given everything they've been through--how they could become this way, and how it isn't my fault for not seeing it in time. And I know, consciously, that the best I can do is move on with my life--and even from the point of view of the illusory "dark side," the best "revenge," if one could call it that, would be precisely that: Moving on, being reborn, and building myself back up where they thought to tear me down.

But that knowledge only carries me so far, until I'm reminded again, by the next song or dream or even acts of kindness from others--ones that they've now conditioned me to suspect as false and manipulative--pulls me out of the world again, and makes me act negatively. I don't want this, and I want to understand it, so that I can be myself again.
Last edit: 05 Sep 2019 21:44 by Dao and De. Reason: sentence structure
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05 Sep 2019 21:52 - 05 Sep 2019 22:06 #343358 by Proteus
Replied by Proteus on topic Why do people hate?
Pain naturally creates a type of unconscious fear, again, all part of the human defensive mechanism for survival.

Example: A woman breaks a man's heart. The man is hurt. The man may then come to not only feel hate for the woman, but the very idea of being involved in relationships with any other women. His hate manifests from pain and a fear that he will get hurt again if he gets involved with any one else, to influence himself to stay in away from what hurt him.

So there are multiple facets to what creates hate, as I cannot hate a stove for having burned me when I touch it. Psychological / Emotional pain is involved with fear, anger, love, jealousy and all kinds of other emotions depending on the situation, all as a mechanism for survival.

It seems that I know that I know.
What I would like to see is the 'I' that knows me when I know that I know that I know.
- Alan Watts
Last edit: 05 Sep 2019 22:06 by Proteus.
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05 Sep 2019 22:38 #343360 by rugadd
Replied by rugadd on topic Why do people hate?
I...have had moments where I hated...is that what your asking? Why do we have those moments? At it's core, hate is an abundance of focus and energy dedicated solely to a single task. I don't carry hate around because nothing has presented itself so worthy of that much of my being....perhaps I am an ignorant one on this topic....

rugadd
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