A World Without Ageism | Ashton Applewhite

I did not think i was ageist , but then i realised that i put people that are 13 years younger than me in MY agegroup , but people that are 13 years older ..not.
This says about me that i like to surround myself with younger people and people of my age (52) , my oldest friend is 58 , and i dont consider her old but she pointed out to me that i indeed am ageist. Not nice of me , have to work on that . I am restricting myself and maybe missing beautifull contacts because of it ...
As for men , i like them from the age 45 to 55 so definately ageist !

ok she has some good points and some reassuring information for those of us who are looking at the reality of our own aging, and i dont want to detract from those, but she also really got on my nerves lol

she got on my nerves more than she reassured me lol so thats what im going to respond to

first is this: if someone considers you (or me) too old (or too young) for them to have sex with, that is their right

none of us are entitled to sex with any particular person just because we want it

and im saying this as someone in his 30s who is attending college; "too old" is a wall that i personally have to face sometimes, but its not one i or anyone else have the right to say "you need to tear down that wall and let me through"

ageism is to age what racism is to race: both are socially constructed ideas that change over time and that serve a social and economic purpose. they are not about how we look, they are about what people in power want how we look to mean

holy crapoly crazy-old-batman; this woman just blamed the illuminati for jokes about adult diapers!

considering the goofiness of people today i feel obliged to point out that it is the "ISM" part of both ageism and racism which she describes as "socially constructed"

the actual race and age parts are biologically constructed, though society may make any number of interpretations about their value or meaning

and why does everything have to be an ism?
why is everyone so excited about the idea that they ar ebeing victimized and oppressed?

up till now i thought it was just a trend that had infected the brains of affluent millennials

she does lot of stereotyping and generalizing for someone who seems to be saying "dont stereotype me" and honestly, i expect someone her age to know better lol

Ageism is why teenagers get no respect...

teenagers "get no respect" most definitely is not always true, but when it is true, its often because teenagers generally dont know their arses from a hole in the ground and yet still seem to think that the rest of the world should defer to their brilliant insight on whatever issue reddit or MTV happens to have spoon fed them in the most recent weeks

why twenty-somethings who arent having peek lives every minute feel overwhelmed

i think they are overwhelmed because life is overwhelming, especially when youre first starting out on your own

why 30 yr old women freak out about getting "over the hill"

ok this one is more valid/accurate than the others, but once a functional level of competence has been achieved, youth is biologically useful/valuable than oldness

humans tend to venerate beauty, and -for women especially- attractiveness is a major component of social value

anything which threatens our social value will "freak us out", and 30 is often perceived as a kind of threshold age where we have to accept the fact that our youth, and the beauty of our youth, are beginning to recede

this is even worse for women who arent married and want to be and/or realize/decide that they want children, but havent had any, because child bearing is something that has got risks and difficulties at any age, biological and financial, and it doesnt likely get EASIER after 30

the standard that men are traditionally held to places a greater emphasis on performance and accomplishment and the the process of accomplishing things takes time

while a young stud MIGHT be biologically more attractive than a randomly generated 30 something, a man who is seasoned by that process is not only more attractive in terms of his personality, but also in terms of his resources and reliability

appearance is pretty important fror men too

regardless of gender, people dont even notice you (as a potential sexual partner) until youve achieved a basic level of attractiveness

why 40 yr olds cant get job interviews

ever? anywhere? really?

i think she is describing something that is real enough but i see 40 yr olds everywhere from wal-mart to wall street and i dont think that being 40 makes finding a new job insurmountable

there are plenty of legit reasons why a 40 yr old wont be likely to get an interview doing jobs that are typically given to hungry, attractive 20 yr olds, including the fact that the 40 yr old more likely wants to actually be paid for their time, whereas the 20 yr old isnt worth as much, doesnt really know what they ARE worth anyway, and really wants to get their foot in the door

she speaks as if people dont want to use a cane simply because they dont want to be judged, but i dont want to use a cane because i dont want to NEED to use a cane

hell with the judgement of others (barring injury) a cane is what you need when youre too old to safely walk without one

thats not an easy thing to accept and it doesnt have nearly as much to do with social conditioning as it does with basic honest recognition of our own deterioration

i agree that society should treat all people with respect and that we should avoid making generalizations and stereotyping one another
im glad she paints a picture of aging which isnt totally bleak

that being said, she can rail against the social stigma of aging all she wants, but if she thinks shes going to kick start the GILF movement then she's already gone senile lol

hell with the judgement of others (barring injury) a cane is what you need when youre too old to safely walk without one

I use a cane in my private life, but don't bring it to work - Gotta keep up the appearances of being head-gorilla to these damn kids who are waiting for a sign of weakness to take me out behind the shed and put a bullet in me.

(Fair enough, I'm not old, I'm injured* - but I suspect the logic is the same. Keeping up appearances in a competitive atmosphere.

*A consequence of being old enough to have collected injuries )

while a young stud MIGHT be biologically more attractive than a randomly generated 30 something, a man who is seasoned by that process is not only more attractive in terms of his personality, but also in terms of his resources and reliability

It's easier to get rich young now (Probably? I didn't) - So there may be some disconnect being "Getting older" and "acheiving success"

All these 22 year old football stars running around with their millions, ruining women for the rest of us :laugh:


I don't know if I want to say "I'm not Ageist because I was raised by my grandmother and I have respect (generally) for experience" or "I have a different experience of Ageism because my country has better infrastructure to support the aging and keep them living with dignity and contributing to the community*"

or "I've got my head so far up my arse I can't see the ageism for the trees"



*Questionable. The retirement age/access to Superannuation age is set so that if you make it at all, you'll be struggling to "enjoy" it - If you've got a manual working job/trade, you'll be pretty wrecked by your late 60s.

And yes, I can understand it would be difficult for someone who gets made redundant at 60 to convince an employer to take them on. They cost more, they are potentially more of a health liability, and they're not after a "career" - Unless they have specific knowledge and skills that the employer needs, it would arguably be the lesser choice against clamouring, eager-to-please career driven 20somethings.

She packed quite a lot in there!

I really thought it was interesting what she said about fictional portrayals of the elderly - only ever a passive character or the old crone. There seems to me to be another category as well - that of the wise old sage. As Adder mentioned, Yoda would be an example, as would Ben Kenobi, Dumbledore, Gandalf, Socrates of 'The Peaceful Warrior', etc etc. Either old people are zombies or they are Zen Masters who have all their sh*t together, right? When do you ever see a portrayal of an older person as a real person - that is to say, an angst-ridden, complex human being...

Although, I don't yet know what it's like to be 'old', so maybe I'm wrong in assuming that they don't all have everything sussed out... :laugh: I'll come back to you on that in 39 years time when I will hit that magical 65+ catagory of ceasing to exist as a non-old person (which was another really excellent point, about the box-ticking...I can't believe how easily that particular bit of bonkerosity slips under our radar!)

But, yup, in the spirit of doing as she suggested and owning up to being ageist, I am frequently ageist (although hopefully not intentionally so). I have a bad habit of mentally blaming older people's mistakes, along with aspects of their behaviour that I don't like, on the rather harsh idea 'they're going senile', which is clearly disrespectful in that it strips them (as I perceive them) of their agency and their ability to make their own choices. And even if people are losing their mental cognition, it's not something to be thought of in that way - it's not their fault, and it could happen to any of us. Unfortunately that attitude - of frustration towards those with reduced cognitive skills - is one that seems to be very prevalent in society.

Returning to a personal perspective, there are countless other ways in which I'm sometimes ageist, but I wont list them! However, the idea of internalized ageism is an interesting one - I certainly sometimes quite savagely tell myself that I'm both too old or too young in differing situations and company! And it was a little scary when she suggested that perhaps, right now, we are all learning and internalizing (and perpetuating) the very messages that will make us feel worthless when we are older - a perfect example of the importance of this topic for all of us, no matter how young we might be...

Thank you so much for sharing this, Alex!

felt bad about only being critical of the video you shared with us so i went back and watched again to draw out and highlight some of the positive lessons

1) dont pretend that you wont get old - if you dont get old its because you didnt live long enough

2) a lot of old people are interesting- makes sense that if youre a cool person when youre young you will have tons of practice at being awesome by the time you get old

3) even at advanced ages (80-85) more than half are still able to take care of themselves

4) stay mentally active and theres a good chance that your mind will still work pretty good.
when old people think more slowly its sometimes because they have more data to sift through

5) old people still have sex -thank you viagra! lol- practice in any area makes you better so of course older people might know how to have good sex if they were sexually active all their lives

6) try not to teach your kids that old people are gross

7) young people forget where they put their keys too lol - last week i actually set my wallet on top of my car and drove away. currently waiting for my replacement credit card to arrive so i can pay for a new license and ect ect

dont sterotype!

9) if the label is hard to read or the lid is hard to open its not because youre old, its bad product design

10) getting old does not mean becoming irrelevant - i think that society needs all the good teachers we can get and if you are one then remember that thanks to the internets its easier than ever to stay relevant

11) Old people have better handwriting (although i wonder if this will still be true in the coming ears with the electronic platform becoming the standard)

12) thats as far as i could get cause she still annoys the hellouttame im just better at being critical, but...

i found this video which is focused specifically for women - beauty and age - but these are pretty smart women and a lot of what they say is useful for everyone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDop4WOBT60

Tao Te Ching 46 :

When a country is in harmony with the Tao,
the factories make trucks and tractors.
When a country goes counter to the Tao,
warheads are stockpiled outside the cities. There is no greater illusion than fear,
no greater wrong than preparing to defend yourself,
no greater misfortune than having an enemy. Whoever can see through all fear
will always be safe.