Late Night Thoughts

Living with regrets
How do you live with regrets? esspecially the ones that seem.... wrong in a sense. The loss of a best friend because of a difficult situation and an impossible choice leaves me heart broken and feeling lonely. The choice i made was the right one.... but the hurt and pain he suffered haunts me and just adds to my own.

Heart and Soul and mind
why is it that your heart and soul rarely agree? or am i the only one to suffer such feelings? How is it that your heart tells you that you love this simple life of motherhood and wifehood. but my soul screams for freedom while my mind sits back and laughs at the belief that freedom exsists... because it does not. i feel like a prisoner of my own being.

Finding where i belong
Due to unfortunate events i find myself wandering these halls because due to regrets and tough choices i feel unwelcome or unable to continue learning in my "home" forum. I miss that place as much as i miss my best friend. how do i find and new place in which i belong.

Meditation
never my strong suit and here i am dying for the strength to shut down my brain and i cant... i just cant.

i miss 'home' i miss my best friend and no amount of mommy or wife joy can wipe that ache away. i just feel so lost and lonely and i do not know where to go or who i could even trust.

sorry to subject you to such melodrama im just at a loss

Hi Phenix.

I'm sorry you're feeling so down and lost right now. I doubt I could say anything in one forum post that would satisfactorily answer all your questions, but I will give a few thoughts that hopefully are of some benefit to you.

I've lived with regrets for years...the burden lightens over time, but you can't make yourself feel better right away. Losing friends can be very difficult, but there are new friendships to be made, too, if you're open to it.

Do you have a place you can go (whether in your home or near it) that helps you feel at peace? If you can, go to it, visit it. Don't even try to meditate. Just let the peace of the place calm you.

I wish you good days ahead. Feel free to PM if you'd like to talk more.

Hi Phenix. It's really a pity that you are feeling bad; these things happen during our journey and often we are faced with what is easy and what is right. At least you are sure that your choices were right, now we can only let the feelings come and raise your head; with time everything passes and the situation improves. Until then, find people to talk and some tours will help you keep well. Has strength and and have faith, and you can count on us

Phenix,
While we have only just met, I genuinely wish the best for you in a difficult time. Every path has its rocky places, and they can seem impossible to navigate, but others have walked a rocky path as well, and we are willing to lend you a steadying hand. To FEEL emotion is well and good. It is necessity, despite how much it may hurt. Dwelling on them is not a necessity. Let your feelings wash over you as water, and then move forward. The emotion will return, but each time a little more will rinse away and you will see things more clearly. Please understand that I do not intend to trivialize your pain. It is real, as is your happiness. Emotion, yet Peace.

my heart goes out to you
grief is a hard hard part of the human experience

i dont know theres anything anyone can say that will mitigate the hurt

i know that i personally have compounded my hurt in the past by attempting to ignore it or turn it into anger and also by wallowing in it

the amount of love that existed in the world before you had these experiences is not lessened - if your experience is anything like mine has been then you will have to trek through the current pain - but there is still an abundance of love of all kinds waiting for you once youve made it to the other side of this moment

Phenix wrote: How do you live with regrets?

I exercise a form of mindfulness - to try and look forward (as a mission) and see mental & physical efforts as working towards future change (even if only minor or even hypothetical/exercise), and also importantly let those efforts 'rest' in the present, as a background noise of subconscious processing - avoiding letting the effort sink backwards to mull over or try and process the past. So to paraphrase, I guess I divide my mindfulness awareness firstly into what is conscious and what is derived from the subconscious, and then try and monitor and shape them in reference to 'time' - to eventually minimize and cease being stuck in the past. I mean we cannot change the past but we can change how we live with it, and of course the future - so it becomes about being better able to move forward by letting it go and only taking the lessons with us, not the baggage.

Phenix wrote: why is it that your heart and soul rarely agree? or am i the only one to suffer such feelings?

How do you differentiate the heart and soul? I ask because it might give some clues how to understand your concern.

Phenix wrote: Due to unfortunate events i find myself wandering these halls because due to regrets and tough choices i feel unwelcome or unable to continue learning in my "home" forum. I miss that place as much as i miss my best friend. how do i find and new place in which i belong.

Walk your path as truthfully as you can and you will eventually see people who are walking the same speed as you stand out from the others who are walking slower or faster, IMO. Though speed is a bad metaphor... direction might be more useful, as its not a race. I should instead leave 'speed' to internal processing and direction to external processing
:pinch:

Phenix wrote: Meditation - never my strong suit and here i am dying for the strength to shut down my brain and i cant... i just cant.

I think hanging onto the past can cause that problem, or not having enough mental or physical stimulation. I think a good way is to be mindful of your focus in the way I mentioned firstly, but then to spread your efforts across mental and physical domains as future effort while resting and belonging in your spiritual mindfulness of self as present effort. Just listening and letting go helps, but it can take time and is easy to slip back into so I try and work it out faster by understanding it or recontextualizing how I view the world by learning new things.

That's just my thoughts on how I might understand it. Good luck with it!!! May the Force be with you