Live Sermon - Expectations - Thursday June 29th 2017 at 19:00 UTC

tzb: So
tzb: We ready for some hot Sermon action...?
Leah Starspectre: Awww yeaaahhh
Senan: Serve it up
Mada Ffen: Let's get or sermon on
SamThift: Let's have it
Cyan Sarden: you betcha!
tzb: Woo! OK! Let's do this!
Zenchi: Oh wow, you know how to talk the crowed, lol
tzb: *jumps up and down like Rocky, air boxing*
JLSpinner: Woo!
Mada Ffen:

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tzb: Firstly, let me thank you all for joining me today.
tzb: May the Force be with you all
Alexandre Orion: .. and also with you
V-Tog: And with you
JLSpinner: And you!
Cyan Sarden: and with you
Kit: and with you
Zenchi: And with you... 
Leah Starspectre: And with you, always
Mada Ffen: *almost trips over my Jedi robes from excitement*
Loudzoo: and you!
SamThift: and also with you
Senan: and you
tzb: My sermon today deals with my recent return to the Clergy... and the six months preceding it.
Mada Ffen: And you
tzb: I don't pull my punches so feel free to duck.
tzb: This sermon is titled "Expectations".
tzb: Here goes.

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tzb: The path is winding.
tzb: For some of us, it leads back on itself, sometimes more than once.
tzb: Six months ago, mine led me towards the door.
tzb: Six months ago, mine led me away from all of you.
tzb: Six months ago, I was feeling like my Temple had never existed, indeed, could never exist.
tzb: This is despite the previous three years of training, my ranks, offices, oaths and vows.
tzb: I was tired of the people here, their politics and drama, the faces and names, ranks and offices.
tzb: It seemed that even the "Jedi Heroes" who had inspired me in the early days, were weak, conflicted - 
tzb: unable to demonstrate the values I myself aspired to live by,
tzb: unable to maintain even the most basic respect towards me, each other, and, crucially, my Temple.
tzb: They were, in truth, no Jedi, at least not by my studied understanding of the word.
tzb: So.
tzb: What did this mean?
tzb: Did it mean I had wasted three years of my life? That none of it had been real?
tzb: Did it mean what happened hadn't really happened? That I wasn't who I thought I was?
tzb: Did it mean the thoughts, ideas, values and ideals which had meant so much to me, were a lie?
tzb: I didn't know.
tzb: What I knew was:
tzb: I had to get away.
tzb: I was away six months.
tzb: It's been a long six months.
tzb: It's been a lonely six months.
tzb: Few from the Temple have spoken to me,
tzb: Few from the Temple have I spoken to.
tzb: And few have welcomed my return.
tzb: (though for those few, I am most grateful!)
tzb: And the question hangs in the air above me:
tzb: Why am I back?
tzb: Why have I resumed my Clerical rank?
tzb: Why am I seeking Clerical office?
tzb: Well, let's pause for a moment.
tzb: *pauses for that moment...*
tzb: *...*
tzb: *...there*
tzb: Why are you here?
tzb: Why are you a Jedi?
tzb: Why is this Temple the right place for you?
tzb: Because...
tzb: It is your path.
tzb: This is my path.
tzb: Mine.
tzb: My own.
tzb: And mine alone.
tzb: In the past I have been led.
tzb: I have been beholden to thoughts and ideas, the expectations of others and my expectations of them.
tzb: But more than that... I have allowed myself to be persuaded. Convinced. Hoodwinked.
tzb: I have allowed myself to see what wasn't there.
tzb: Rather...
tzb: I have allowed my desire to see what I hoped was there to cloud my vision,
tzb: only to reveal the stark contrast in what I actually found.
tzb: Let's illustrate this, a little.
tzb: If you expect to reach into your pocket and find £1000 in a wad of crisp notes,
tzb: (or $1000)
tzb: but only locate a solitary £1 coin,
tzb: you'll feel let down.
tzb: you may well be rather pleased.
tzb: Six months ago, I was feeling like my Temple had never existed, indeed, could never exist.
tzb: My pocket was empty.
tzb: And you know what?
tzb: The truth is, my Temple doesn't exist.
tzb: Yet.
tzb: My Temple can't exist.
tzb: Yet.
tzb: My Temple is not real, not embodied, not here, not anywhere.
tzb: Yet.
tzb: And yet...
tzb: It is here with us right now.
tzb: How can that be?
tzb: Because... at the risk of sounding corny... and in a very real, and genuine way:
tzb: My Temple is within me. It is in my hopes and aspirations. It is within my desires and dreams.
tzb: It is within the positive outlook I have rediscovered, the motivation I have regained.
tzb: It is within my capacity to inspire positive change and build new ways of working.
tzb: Not alone (because what Temple is built by a single man?), of course.
tzb: But it is also within my power to create.
tzb: This might sound rather "supervillanesque".
tzb: Don't only evil men seek to reshape the world in their image?
tzb: That was MY image.
tzb: Not the Temple's.
tzb: It's taken six months.
tzb: Six months of being sure I was leaving.
tzb: Six months of, and it pains me to admit it, smirking at sincerity, and eye-rolling at faith.
tzb: Six months before I looked into the mirror -
tzb: and found what I saw there to be as lacking as those I felt had let me down.
tzb: Not the Jedi I expected to be.
tzb: Not the Knight, not the Priest.
tzb: But after six months I can finally say... I have let those images, those expectations, go.
tzb: I expect nothing, because...
tzb: I know what this place is, now.
tzb: I know it's not exactly what I hoped, imagined, EXPECTED it to be.
tzb: This place has been around far longer than I, and may well outlast me still.
tzb: It has history. And crucially:
tzb: IT IS FOLLOWING ITS OWN PATH.
tzb: It is not "finished". (may it never be "finished"!)
tzb: It is in the constant process of recreating, reinventing, replaying itself.
tzb: So,
tzb: my Temple.
tzb: That glorious place of collaboration, cooperation, of great Jedi training greater Jedi, on and on and on.
tzb: It doesn't exist.
tzb: (Yet )
tzb: But what is here, is within my power to influence. A bit.
tzb: It is within all of our power to create the Temple we want to be a part of.
tzb: And the Temple's own path may wind,
tzb: may lead back on itself, maybe more than once.
tzb: But by keeping our heads clear of expectations,
tzb: by maintaining our hopes and dreams, without giving in to dismay and despair when we find it lacking,
tzb: and by being open to the possibility that one setback does not indicate "journey's end",
tzb: we can play our part in making something far greater than anything we could expect to find behind great gates or by turning over rocks.
tzb: We are so lucky, at this time, us few who gather here.
tzb: We have such opportunity.
tzb: Such a chance!
tzb: Together, we can choose to build a future, for the Jedi of tomorrow,
tzb: only if we keep walking that long path.
tzb: Only if the Temple's path continues and we continue to walk it.
tzb:
tzb: The path is winding.
tzb: For some of us, it leads back on itself, sometimes more than once.
tzb: Hold fast to your dreams and ideals, but let your only expectation be:
tzb: Even winding paths lead somewhere.

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