Brené Brown - Vulnerability, Courage, Authenticity, and Shame.

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6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #260962 by
It's no secret that I love TED talks, and I feel the majority of our members here also see the benefit of them as well. I recently was introduced to a speaker at TED I had somehow missed, and I've found her material simply stunning in its depth and likewise in how easy it is for one to approach.

I was introduced to her by a therapist I've been working with, and while it's no magic fix, these talks have truly helped me as an individual and I think I'll end up grabbing her books soon as well to dive deeper.

The reason for this post though, is to share her talks, and to gather what fellow members think of her message overall. To begin, I wanted to cite her first talk that most would stumble upon, which is based around the fascinating idea of being truly vulnerable.

After watching, I'd love to hear your general thoughts, as well as...
  • How can we tie being truly vulnerable into Jediism?
  • Is there a way you can see this concept weaving its way into your life at all?
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6 years 11 months ago #260963 by
i have seen this , i posted it once in another topic , for me to be a Jedi is all about vulnurabilty and resilience so i agree with you and i integrate this into my whole being.

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6 years 11 months ago #260970 by
Oooh, I love this one. :) It's part of the seminary curriculum.

That vulnerability she talks about is crucial for developing empathy. When people share something with us, we can choose to respond with sympathy or empathy. Sympathy is what we use when we don't want to engage, don't want to be vulnerable and open ourselves up. It's insincere and inauthentic, or at least comes off that way, and I think people sort of automatically feel that. Empathy, on the other hand, means that we are fully there, feeling "with' the other person rather than feeling "for" them. And to do that, to really do away with the imaginary line between you and the other person, you have to be authentic and authentically vulnerable.

She has some great insights into the essential difference between guilt and shame too, IIRC. :) Thank you for sharing this one, Cayce.

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6 years 11 months ago #261050 by Ben
If the Ego is kind of like a suit of armour, protecting us from both from the perceived dangers of the external world and also from the parts of our own internal nature that we are a little afraid to explore - if we then therefore have to take off the armour in order to get a glimpse at the Egolessness or selflessness that we consider so vital to our understanding of the Force, compassion, empathy, servitude, to name but a few things...well that's got to require a fair bit of vulnerability, hasn't it?

The idea that human connection requires vulnerability reminds me of when Joseph Campbell talks about love and marriage and the idea of two souls sacrificing to the union (sacrificing the individual Ego). Can we really hope for that pure, lasting connection with anyone unless we are prepared to show them our true selves, underneath the armour? If we're just suits of armour 'connecting' to other suits of armour, if all that any of us ever allow anyone else to see is our mask, is that even connection at all?

I do like her example of being the first person to say 'I love you' - it's a perfect example of how in many scenarios someone has to be prepared to put themselves out there, take the armour off, in order to deepen connection...

So this stuff is not just important for us as Jedi, but for our ability to experience life in terms of connection and meaningful, mutually fulfilling relationships. :)

Making it a normal part of life isn't easy, though - the minute vulnerability is easy, we're either only pretending to be vulnerable, or the vulnerability has moved on to a different place without our noticing. There'll be lots of falling flat on our faces, lots of 'vulnerability hangovers', as Brene Brown so perfectly describes them in her books. It takes patience, commitment, resilience and gentleness. And LOTS of comfort food (preferably ice cream). :whistle:
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