An Update

Hi all, writing on my phone! So, forgive any weird grammar things or spelling mistakes please.

I wanted to update you all on my goings on. You all are a family to me, so it's only fare that I keep you abreast of my situations and hardships.

A couple of months ago, I began seeing a therapist for some compulsive behavior issues. After evaluations, my therapist has decided to diagnose me with severe clinical depression. Apparently, I have large dopamine deficiencies, which lead me to erratic and impulsive behavior and also remove my ability to plan long term. Because this is impacting my personal, spiritual, physical, mental, and financial lives, I'm seeking intensive treatment to relieve the symptoms and tackle the crux of the mental and biological issues.

Of course, any suggestions would be welcome. I'm a tad relieved to know that my problems are not from a lack of trying (as I've been working extremely hard to tackle these issues). I've just been doing it in ineffective ways.

I am still on LOA from any stressors, but I'm sure I'll be around while I'm in recovery.

-C

i recommend a little shock therapy :evil: anyone know how to do a bit of force lightening?... :lol:

on the serious bit, if they prescribe you any meds, be sure to do the research on the meds. not all meds are created equal, not all meds are worth the risk...maybe try some medical marijuana (if it's legal where you are).

best of luck to you during your trials...

*nods* yeahhh... Somehow force lightning therapy sounds a little over the top. Lol

I'm not 100% sure on meds yet. While I think they will be a big help, I don't understand them well enough. If I go off of them, will I go back to how I was before? Do they repair the issue or only subdue the symptoms. *sigh* It seems very complex. However, I am open minded.

that's why it's important to do the research...some meds create a dependency so you have to continue taking them indefinitely...

how long do i have to take them?
what are the side effects?
are there alternatives to them?
how do they work?

just a few of the questions worth asking.

i was put in charter hospital at age 10 or 11 for severe depression and ive battled with it all my life

the best advice i would give right away is to be sure you have a therapist you feel good about if thats at all possible

your therapist should be respectful of your worries about prescriptions and be HAPPY to talk openly and freely about that topic to your satisfaction

something else important about the meds is "what exactly is it supposed to do and what exactly is the timeline?"

sometimes the answers to that have variable which are a mattter of individual physiology and consistancy (in taking them the way youre supposed to) but within a certain range there is a level of predictability that you would do well to have explained very clearly to you from the begining

and from that you get pretty good tool for determining if the medication is working

also, sometimes therapists say things we dont like to hear - often times the fact that we dont like it is an indication they are on to something

not always - but often

so having confidence in your therapist and having a therapist you feel confident in are both important

Connor L. wrote: If I go off of them, will I go back to how I was before? Do they repair the issue or only subdue the symptoms. *sigh* It seems very complex. However, I am open minded.

{I'm breaking my 'no thread response' for this...}

I only know some information from my studies, but if you want to research potential drugs, then the ones offered will probably do one of two things:

- increase the amount of dopamine in your body by preventing cells from reabsorbing it if it's not used. Look out for NDRIs, Norepinephrine and dopamine reuptake inhibitors... I think there's one called Bupropion.

- increase the actual amount of dopamine in your body. Look out here for Tyrosine, it's an amino acid the body cannot synthesise and is used to form Phenylalanine, which in turn is used to form dopamine.

I hope that helps start you off somewhere.

I have found a daily regimen of twenty minutes doing Asana yoga has helped immensely in combatting my ADD, Bi polarism and the anxiety and depression that they together create. Self discipline gives control to the self, much better than pharmaceuticals ever could, in my personal opinion...

Connor L. wrote: Hi all, writing on my phone! So, forgive any weird grammar things or spelling mistakes please.

I wanted to update you all on my goings on. You all are a family to me, so it's only fare that I keep you abreast of my situations and hardships.

A couple of months ago, I began seeing a therapist for some compulsive behavior issues. After evaluations, my therapist has decided to diagnose me with severe clinical depression. Apparently, I have large dopamine deficiencies, which lead me to erratic and impulsive behavior and also remove my ability to plan long term. Because this is impacting my personal, spiritual, physical, mental, and financial lives, I'm seeking intensive treatment to relieve the symptoms and tackle the crux of the mental and biological issues.

Of course, any suggestions would be welcome. I'm a tad relieved to know that my problems are not from a lack of trying (as I've been working extremely hard to tackle these issues). I've just been doing it in ineffective ways.

I am still on LOA from any stressors, but I'm sure I'll be around while I'm in recovery.

-C

Hi Connor,

Any intelligent individual, who cares about truth and self honesty is going to be depressed.

You can not honestly look into the mirror and realize with each breath you grow closer to death, and not be depressed.

You can not look honestly look around you at how evil and corrupt our societies are, how much needless suffering there is in the world both for humans and nonhumans alike, and not be depressed.

No person can be honest with themselves about these things and NOT be depressed.

All I can tell you is you have to fight.

Fight to better yourself.

Fight to better your immediate environment.

Fight to achieve your dreams.

No amount of talking about your problems, or pills will ever fix the sadness that comes from being honest with yourself about your situation and the world you live in.

Stars beyond a certain size die when the energy from fusion (trying to expand), can no longer balance out the desire for gravity to crush the star, when this happens it collapses into a black hole under the weight of it's own gravity.

We are a lot like that.

I challenge you to declare war on your depression, to fight for your dreams, fight to better yourself and your situation.

Don't let your light burn out.

Agreed, "Red_Eye_Jedi".

You familiar with Robert Greene? I've finished reading his 48 laws of power, and now I'm on his book Mastery. It considers the exact same premise with the same prescription.

I'm enjoying the prospect. I just have to become passionate. And, it's difficult to find that spark.

imo the "laws" are more like suggestions which only apply to certain situations

basically all that manipulation stuff is appropriate for instance a someone under the authority of a king who likes to put people in dungeons or used as crash dummies to refine the efficiecy of the guillotine but is not necessarily the way to deal with your coworkers - bosses - family - teachers or friends

the four noble truths and the eightfold noble path offer what i belive to be a more fulfilling context

so does the Warriors Way - which does not have the same emphasis on the maniplulation of others as a core tenent
in fact the 48 laws of power are only one interpreation even of what power is - and there are other interpretations, much less how to aquire it

but i agree with the decaration of war, i think that is the best way to view it
i have made a similar declaration to grow above the fearful and petty aspects of my character and embody a courageous and nourishing way of relating to myself and others

and it is a war