stuck in a rut
11 years 6 months ago #62015
by
Replied by on topic Re: stuck in a rut
Why is it impossible for you both too still see each other, if only occasionally if you take the scholarship?
And if this is your dream job why would she not want you to go after it? I would hope she would be supportive instead of apparently selfish
If you love each other the distance between you will hardly matter, you have the internet which you can use to talk to each other and phones, and you can still visit her
You seem worried about the number of arguments you are having
Does this perhaps mean that you might be unfit for each other in the long run? As hard as that might be for you to admit to yourself
My last point would be that yes you do love her, but there are other woman out there should things go awry. There is only one chance for a football scholarship however
And if this is your dream job why would she not want you to go after it? I would hope she would be supportive instead of apparently selfish
If you love each other the distance between you will hardly matter, you have the internet which you can use to talk to each other and phones, and you can still visit her
You seem worried about the number of arguments you are having
Does this perhaps mean that you might be unfit for each other in the long run? As hard as that might be for you to admit to yourself
My last point would be that yes you do love her, but there are other woman out there should things go awry. There is only one chance for a football scholarship however
Please Log in to join the conversation.
11 years 6 months ago - 11 years 6 months ago #62023
by
Replied by on topic Re: stuck in a rut
I'm with Akkarin on this. If she cares for you, she will respect your decision. It seems like this is all about her, and she doesn't care what makes you happy. And prepare for "doesn't being with me make you happy?"
I've been in this situation. I was actually dating the girl. It's hard to turn down someone you care about, but when you know what you want to do, you have to go for it. If the other person refuses to support you, just think about how many other decisions you will make down the road and how they will be turned down by her because it's not in her best interest. I hate to sound mean, but we are adults and this is real life. You and this girl aren't even officially dating yet and she's already trying to tell you what to do with your life. Honestly, I would get out while I could.
I am also not very thrilled with her saying that if you drop what you want to do that she will choose to go beyond friendship. Now she's trying to get you to not do what what you want by dangling herself in front of you.
YOU need to take control of YOUR life and do what makes you happy. If she can't understand this, then it is her problem, not yours. She needs to grow up and act like an adult. She needs to learn what it means to be in a relationship. As I said, I hate to be so harsh, but we are adults and this is real life. Should you give up your hopes and dreams just to be with this girl, think about all the other stuff in the future that you will have to give up just to be with her. This does not sound like a healthy relationship. Excuse my bluntness.
I've been in this situation. I was actually dating the girl. It's hard to turn down someone you care about, but when you know what you want to do, you have to go for it. If the other person refuses to support you, just think about how many other decisions you will make down the road and how they will be turned down by her because it's not in her best interest. I hate to sound mean, but we are adults and this is real life. You and this girl aren't even officially dating yet and she's already trying to tell you what to do with your life. Honestly, I would get out while I could.
I am also not very thrilled with her saying that if you drop what you want to do that she will choose to go beyond friendship. Now she's trying to get you to not do what what you want by dangling herself in front of you.
YOU need to take control of YOUR life and do what makes you happy. If she can't understand this, then it is her problem, not yours. She needs to grow up and act like an adult. She needs to learn what it means to be in a relationship. As I said, I hate to be so harsh, but we are adults and this is real life. Should you give up your hopes and dreams just to be with this girl, think about all the other stuff in the future that you will have to give up just to be with her. This does not sound like a healthy relationship. Excuse my bluntness.
Last edit: 11 years 6 months ago by .
Please Log in to join the conversation.
11 years 6 months ago #62024
by
Replied by on topic Re: stuck in a rut
I agree with both Hadi and Akkarin.
DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS. IF you do you will most definitely regret it. Life isn't based so much on a relationship than it is on your basic needs.
DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS. IF you do you will most definitely regret it. Life isn't based so much on a relationship than it is on your basic needs.
Please Log in to join the conversation.
11 years 5 months ago #62025
by
Replied by on topic Re: stuck in a rut
Thank you to the both of you especially you Hadi, you have put it bluntly but that was exactly what I wanted to hear i have known for a while that she has been manipulating me and telling me what I want to hear for her own sake, but I keep denying it to hear it one from someone else has reassured me, I can't say this is going to be easy after all you can't just stop loving someone but in the long run I know this is for the best. Again I really can't thank you all enough for your advice you are all truly a blessing in desguise!
Please Log in to join the conversation.