What is family to you?

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12 Jan 2016 19:49 #221134 by Edan
Replied by Edan on topic What is family to you?
This seems like a simple question... but in fact I can't really give a definition that I'm satisfied with...

Proteus' answer was a good one (not just saying that cos I'm in the picture :P)...

My family are the people of my blood foremost..
They are the friends of mine who'll share all the good and bad times
There are people on TOTJO that I would call my family too

What's that phrase... "Friends are the family you choose"

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28 May 2017 21:18 #285516 by Kodaav
Replied by Kodaav on topic What is family to you?
Family is time plus bond there could be moment where family turns into friendship. There are the certain hormones released through the brains of parents it is also released in people who are in love. I guess this could be a chemical explanation for the feeling of familiar bonds. I think the chemical is oxytocin.

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28 May 2017 21:32 - 28 May 2017 21:36 #285518 by JamesSand
Replied by JamesSand on topic What is family to you?

Time+bond+ experience=family
The time can be a short period of time of long, but it all falls down to the bond and the experience.
Ex.
Two army men knows each other for only 7 months but build a bond threw what they experience in that short peri od of time

Open discussion



"Familiarity breeds contempt" - As they say :P


I have my family (blood relatives, or whatever) some of which I am quite fond of, the others...well I'm not NOT fond of them, but when you see someone once every decade or so it's hard to be particularly invested in them.

Most of my friends have a nasty habit of dying, or at least engaging in enough self destruction to make sustaining the bond...untenable.

Still, there are one or two individuals for whom I would sacrifice as much as I would for my brother.*

Does that make them family? Not really in my book, my brother is family - but they are dear friends.

I see no reason to mix the two words unnecessarily.


*It's an interesting sort of issue though - I've known my brother longer than anyone else, and unless he dies significantly earlier than me, I will likely know him longer than anyone else - but that doesn't mean we (ever) agree on anything, or necessarily always act in each other's best interests, we don't even like spending that much time together - but whatever else may go down, there'll always be a meal and a bed in each other's houses if required.


As for Proteus - Are the two chaps on the right (as you look it) of the picture related, or just happen to enjoy the same hairlines?
Last edit: 28 May 2017 21:36 by JamesSand.
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30 May 2017 03:55 #285645 by AveryR1988
Replied by AveryR1988 on topic What is family to you?
I have someone who I call a sister whom I've known since she was born (she is 25 now).
On the flip side I have had about half my blood family disown me (that is just what happens when you are transgender in a conservative family).

Family is anyone you 'feel' is family... someone you look up to and resonate with. Blood family really doesn't mean anything. I mean adopted kids who never know their blood family don't really have any bond with them. But their adopted family and friends tend to develop family strength bonds.

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30 May 2017 04:08 #285646 by vladucard
Replied by vladucard on topic What is family to you?
I consider anyone who I can trust with my life my family. loyalty, love, compassion, If a friend can show me all those, they are family.

"Breathe deep....and live it" - Arisaig
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30 May 2017 15:47 #285674 by Manu
Replied by Manu on topic What is family to you?

Online Etymology Dictionary wrote: Family (n)
Early 15c., "servants of a household," from Latin familia "family servants, domestics collectively, the servants in a household," thus also "members of a household, the estate, property; the household, including relatives and servants," abstract noun formed from famulus "servant, slave," which is of unknown origin.

The Latin word rarely appears in the sense "parents with their children," for which domus (see domestic (adj.)) was used. Derivatives of famulus include famula "serving woman, maid," famulanter "in the manner of a servant," famulitas "servitude," familiaris "of one's household, private," familiaricus "of household slaves," familiaritas "close friendship."


I find it interesting that etymologically, there is a relationship between the word "family" and "servant", mostly because it's true. Your family is the people who you've chosen to serve, those for whom you are capable of great sacrifice. It's fair to assume that we would all consider our children family, since we've taken care for them since they were born, and would slave away at work for, just to make sure they are alright. The same goes for our caregivers, usually parents or other relatives.

But as others have said here, sometimes blood relatives are not the kind that we can continue to serve, for one reason or another. But we can find these people outside of blood relatives, and usually these are people who we share with and trust, and who in turn share with us and trust. And thus the bond is formed. And service to them comes naturally, because we care for them as if they were us.

Thus, I can say that I have quite a few good friends outside of my blood relatives, who I consider family and for whom my door (or inbox) is always open. :)

Problems that remain persistently insoluble should always be suspected as questions asked in the wrong way - Alan Watts
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30 May 2017 16:24 #285675 by Kobos
Replied by Kobos on topic What is family to you?
Just my opinion:

It's anyone whom I love, which is a lot of people. Those whom I have grown from and those whom have grown from me. It's anyone whom takes the time to see me for who I am and any man I can help. I hope to that it will become anyone whom exists good or bad. I would love to see the world as my brothers and sisters.

Luck is all you make it, just reach out and take it. Now, let's go dance a while. -Porcupine Tree

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30 May 2017 17:03 #285677 by Solice
Replied by Solice on topic What is family to you?
Like a lot of people on this thread, I too feel like family is more than who you're simply related to. In fact, I also feel being related to someone does not make them automatically family. There are plenty of blood relatives, even close ones, that I just don't consider family. Honestly, the only people I consider family are my close friends, and my dagorhir company.

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30 May 2017 21:06 #285702 by Reliah
Replied by Reliah on topic What is family to you?
To me, a family is people who will be in your life forever regardless of what hurts, pains, or struggles you go through together. I notice people tend to be more forgiving of blood-related and more willing to work on repairing those types of relationships than those that aren't. For myself, family is any person who is willing to make the decision that though we may hurt one another from time to time, and perhaps in very big ways, we will figure out a way to mend the relationship and move forward together, becoming stronger and more closely bonded because of it, rather than in spite of it.
Perhaps that's a large order to fill... but I have it in a good number of high-quality people and I am better for it and lucky that some of those people also happen to be blood-related.

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30 May 2017 21:10 #285703 by GrayPredator
Replied by GrayPredator on topic What is family to you?
Hm.. I personally see the ones that care about one another as a family(some type of bond). I even consider my group of friends as my family. Even people of TOTJO at some point, because everyone is so caring here and willing to be there for one another even if we don't know everything about eachother, which is alright.

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