Temple of the Jedi Order: First church of Jediism

Sermon 07-10-11

(Transfered here by me for Sapadu... Jestor)

 

Sermon 07:11
Written by Sapadu

MAD LIBS: When you assume, you make an [synonym for 'fool' and 'mule'] out of 'u' and 'me'.

Jack sighed and slid away from the bar. She'd had a long day, and her drink had done a great deal to relax her. Now, it was just time to head for the bus stop and wait for her ride home.

“Hey, where's your boyfriend at?” Asked a server as she passed him on her way to the door. Jack froze. Suddenly, her calm and relaxed mood came crashing apart. How did this guy think it was in ANY way appropriate to ask her that? And it would have been bad enough if it was just some random jerk trying to pick her up, but this guy was a server! Forget insulting, this was borderline creepy behavior.

'Jack, you can't punch the guy – you'll get kicked out of the restaurant.' One of her voices reminded her. That didn't mean she wasn't going to give this moron a piece of her mind, first.

“Excuse ME?” She demanded, wheeling on the server. His formerly cheerful – if creepy – smile vanished, “For ONE thing, what makes you think I have a boyfriend? What if I'm single? Is it a CRIME for a woman to be unattached in this day and age? Am I not allowed in here unless I'm in a relationship? Second, even if I wasn't single, who says I'd have a BOYfriend? Did that NEVER occur to you? Why don't you ask a vegan why they didn't order your double cheeseburger special – it'd be less offensive than THAT! Thirdly, why do I have to have a date to come here? Maybe I'm just relishing in my independence, or maybe I'm here to see the bartender, or maybe – just maybe – I came here to DRINK! Is THAT ever a possibility, or is there a law saying the ladies here have to be waiting for someone? And FINALLY – how, in any way, shape, or form, do you think that it was okay for you to just pry into my personal life like that? It was totally NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS – what makes you think that it's acceptable to ask a complete and total stranger about their significant other?” Half the restaurant was staring, but Jack didn't care, “I'll be telling your manager about this, so THINK about that for a little bit. Good night and THANK you.”

And Jack stormed out, not at all intent on having a good night.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

That's one way it could have happened. But, how about this?

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Jack sighed and slid away from the bar. She'd had a long day, and her drink had done a great deal to relax her. Now, it was just time to head for the bus stop and wait for her ride home.

“Hey, where's your boyfriend at?” Asked a server as she passed him on her way to the door. Jack froze. Suddenly, her calm and relaxed mood came crashing apart. How did this guy think it was in ANY way appropriate to ask her that? And it would have been bad enough if it was just some random jerk trying to pick her up, but this guy was a server! Forget insulting, this was borderline creepy behavior.

'Now, be nice – how would you feel if you wanted to ask a cute girl out and she just snapped at you?' Scolded an empathetic voice, 'Besides, it would be rude to correct him – we all do have our own perceptions about the people around us, after all.' The server was still waiting for her to answer. Jack managed to feebly turn and offer a weak smile. She even tried to laugh it off – like it had been an inside joke. Yeah, that had to have been it – he was just kidding around.

Jack stumbled out of the restaurant doors as quickly as she could. She was no longer in the least bit relaxed or calm – much closer to tense and uncomfortable. And it only got worse when she got onto the bus and could have sworn the driver was staring at her a little too long as she paid her fare.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

That's another way it could have happened. But, how about this?

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Jack sighed and slid away from the bar. She'd had a long day, and her drink had done a great deal to relax her. Now, it was just time to head for the bus stop and wait for her ride home.

“Hey, where's your boyfriend at?” Asked a server as she passed him on her way to the door. Jack froze. Suddenly, her calm and relaxed mood came crashing apart. How did this guy think it was in ANY way appropriate to ask her that? And it would have been bad enough if it was just some random jerk trying to pick her up, but this guy was a server! Forget insulting, this was borderline creepy behavior.

'Hey, dude – stop. Now, think about it.' And she did. She worked in the service industry, too, after all. And more than once, her managers had told her that part of her job was to be friendly and invested in customers. And, of course, the one way they kept pressuring her to do this was to ask questions and be open, to show that you cared about them. They'd prod her into asking 'Who's this shirt for? A boyfriend? A husband?' Not that Jack ever listened to the advice – she was too shy and too awkward to make it sound natural and it always came out like demanding to know or snooping.

'So, for all you know, this guy is just doing what his job demands of him – he might be hitting on you, but he also might just think that he's being friendly.' This, Jack was willing to concede – after all, it was part of the reason she'd lapsed into her own shyness, because she'd attempted to take her manager's advice, and it had always backfired. Everyone had different ideas of being friendly and what was appropriate. 'Not to mention, for all you know, if he was RIGHT in assuming you were waiting on a guy, you might think it nice to have someone to complain to that you were stood up.'

'Right. How's about we go with a Plan C, then?' Jack turned and grinned back, still walking backwards towards the exit.

“I don't have a boyfriend.” It was honest enough. And at least made a point about two out of the four things the server had assumed. He jumped, as though surprised at her answer.

“What? Why not?” Okay. Getting back into that 'It's none of your business' territory... Jack continued to grin and decided to go with a 'I'll answer that question, but I don't want to continue this conversation' style of answer.

“Well, for starters, my girlfriend would get awfully jealous.” A white lie, but it seemed to effectively send the message that she wasn't interested in this talk about her personal life. The server's smile dropped, entirely, but Jack continued to smile back, “Thanks for the drink. Have a nice night.”

Once outside, Jack took a deep breath and gathered her thoughts. And, of course, her initial ideas on how to react came back.

'What if it hadn't been you? Or what if you had decided to lose your cool? That guy would get slammed with an official complaint and not have even realized he'd done something wrong until it was too late.' And as Jack had lost a job the exact same way, she wasn't about to do the same thing to a fellow in the service industry, 'Alright, then – let's see if we can't write a good, polite 'Dude, I'm only writing this to help you so you don't get in trouble in the future' kind of feedback.'

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

'So, aren't you glad you decided to go with the last scenario?' James prodded Jack. She proofread her letter, but paused over a spelling error, 'Yeah, he'd made four big, very wrong assumptions, but if you'd just stuck with the assumption that he was being a creep and trying to pick you up, or that you were in the wrong to feel uncomfortable with it, you would've ended up either over- or under-reacting, and it you wouldn't have been doing him any favors with that, either.'

“Yeah... but is it really okay to make this much of a deal about this? It was just few minutes of conversation.” She asked. James shrugged.

'If my fly was open, I'd want someone to tell me instead of finding out when my pants fell down.' He pointed out, 'And with work, I'd say it's pretty important to let people know when they've messed up early on, before they make an even bigger mistake that could ruin their job or cost their company money.'

“It just occurred to me that this guy probably didn't even realize he was assuming these things. There's some stuff that it's fairly obvious when you assume, but there are other topics that, when you ask them, you're making an assumption without even realizing it. I had a customer once that, while I was talking with her, I mentioned the weather. Later, my manager told me the lady had complained because she was from Florida and thought I was making fun of her for not being used to the snow. The weather – the FRICKIN' weather!”

James shrugged, again.

'So, maybe the moral of the story is that it IS hard not to make assumptions, but we still need to put some kind of effort into doing so.' And, yet again, he shrugged, 'But, doesn't the fact that it's a tough thing to do make it all the more worth it in the end?'

Jack gave him a Look.

'At least... as far as I can see.'  

Latest Posts Comments Articles
    • Microsoft's 'teen girl' AI turns into a Hitler-lov... (Last post by x57z12)
    • Assuming ignorance by Occams Razor works when the issue it is assumed on/for matches a Gaussian distribution. Seeing as that which was fed to the bot was rather one-sided, the assumption of ignorance seems a lot less likely than the assumption of intend. Arguably judging the actions would be inefficient. Who knows if it were trolls, ignoramuses or people pointing out a morality flaw in a new technique. Obviously there is value in analyzing the results, still I believe it to be somewhat telling that apparently our first dominant instinct in this case was to flood the thing with racism and bigotry. If you are aiming to see the gained knowledge of this, it would serve well to try and see all of it instead of being selective.
    • The Gender Unicorn (Last post by JamesSand)
    • Ah, Unicorns. They're neat. Anyway, to fill out the scale - Male, Masculine, Male, Women, Women. Although outside of filling out forms, I identify as "a 180cm tall, 80kg meatsack in blue jeans and sunnies" - that's not an option on most official documents however. That doesn't interest me at all though, What does interest me is that I was born with ankyloglossia, and while it was relatively easy to solve (physically) at a young age, the effects of it are noticable thoughout my adulthood. I've considered wearing a badge that says "Excuse me if I sound like I'm gibbering, but I had a medical condition that made speech difficult", but then I'll get undesired questions or looks of pity, and unfortunately, despite the distress and occasional difficulty communicating, I don't qualify for any government assistance or benefits. What I am trying to say is "I really don't care what you are, or think you are, if you can do the job, you're hired - and if one or several people are being inhumane towards you I'll stand with you (or between you and them if need be) but I still won't care what you are at the end of it" Anyway, Everyone is free to say "You straightwhitemale devil, you have no right to compare a speech impediment to the opressions trans and nonbinary people feel every day" (Except for the speech impediment crowd, who are free to say the same thing, but with a different emphasis)
    • Radical Islam (Last post by Gisteron)
    • About the tribalism thing, let's not forget that Islamic scriptures and other canonical and scholarly sources go quite a long way to reinforce the line between the in-group and the outsiders, painting them as mutual enemies most of the time and dehumanizing the non-Muslims at other times. They also prohibit various dealings and relations with outsiders on numerous occasions "lest they lead the faithful astray". It is very openly cult-like in this sense. Now wait for a few generations to absorb that everybody else are swine, throw in a bunch of explicit commands to violence against them and a situation like we have now is inevitable. Islam is by no means the only contributor here, and as any other cult it feeds on natural human tendencies, but it is still a rather major factor, albeit perhaps far from the only one.
    • Science discovers God (Last post by Gisteron)
    • The chart is actually for purposes of public understanding. Theoretical physicists do not operate on pretty pictures but on mathematical models extrapolated from observations. That means for one that their accuracy is of course limited, which, for instance, is why the "quantum fluctuation" thing at the beginning point of the chart is pretty much a speculation (albeit for what we know not a completely unreasonable one) as we cannot observe beyond the Planck time. As another note on the absence of evidence thing, I feel like it needs pointing out that nobody argued that there was actually no thinking agent kicking off the universe based only on a lack of evidence indicating so. A much more present argument was that the Biblical God is a far more fleshed out character, with far more specific attributes than mere timelessness and externality to and power over nature. While we are at it, we do not actually know that any of those apply to what Dr. Schroeder calls the "laws of nature" either. It is things like these that make me question his credibility despite his credentials. MIT is not a place of sub-par education, so at some point he must have been made to understand what is false about the things he says about his field of science, be it in this video or in his lectures and books (that no doubt sell well). It stands to reason that either he forgot them because he hasn't been working in science for a while, or that he rejects things he was taught on religious grounds, or that he is knowingly lying about them now. I would as well dispute that there is no evidence one way or the other, proof being an undefined thing when it comes to synthetic propositions. The Biblical God is not described as a mere prime mover in either the text nor in the minds of most believers. Rather it is an intelligent agent who allegedly interacts with the natural world in detectable ways. So we are in the "there is a bomb under my seat in theatre" scenario where we would expect to see evidence if it were the case, rendering the absence of evidence an indicator of the contrary. The absence of evidence argument would still stand if we were talking about something abstract or fundamentally unfalsifiable. In that case Occam's Razor would have to chime in, I'm just not all that positive that we are dealing with such purely deistic notions here. Now, of course that doesn't mean either position is necessarily correct in this, and any one individual can of course either believe in The Force (which, by the way, is not the same thing as the Biblical God either in the fiction or in the minds of most real world Jedi, AFAIK) without evidence or not. One can of course likewise believe that there is no such thing on what I think is inconclusive evidence, or not. Whether either belief is justified or which one is more justified than the other would of course remain up for debate and whether either proposition is correct may ultimately be a matter of definition more than discovery. I would like to stress that it is not necessary to believe either and not unreasonable to reject both until either is backed by a convincing argument. And finally, Quote: Wait...someone thinks it is not okay to believe something without empirical evidence? Can't recall anyone saying so, no... Quote: We require faith just to function... It depends on what you mean by faith. If every position that is not met with full certainty is a faith position, then we believe pretty much everything on faith and the term becomes meaningless as a discriminator to the same extent. If faith is what comes in when ever otherwise we have no justification to believe something, then please speak for yourself, since I never do need any such thing.
    • Doing that thing from that one brochure (Last post by Connor L.)
    • Awesome! I found this really helpful when I was struggling (at the end of my rope...) to quit sugar binging. Perhaps you might too. www.rational.org/index.php?id=36 It is the opposite of a "12 step" course, which I found really attractive.
    • sith/jedi (Last post by Zenchi)
    • Quote: Quote: Quote: Sith (mythological) in general tend to be very close-minded And fictional Jedi tend to be equanimous, compassionate and thoughtful. Sadly (speaking especially of my own behaviour), we tend to fall short of that. Some of us don't even aspire toward those lofty goals. Can't imagine why "real life" Sith should be expected to be anything like the fictional ones. Honestly, I feel like that's kind of the whole point of this site. At least for those that start the IP and become "Jedi" rather than just guests who are here for discussion purposes (nothing wrong with that, of course). We (the non-guests and those who have applied to be non-guests) aspire to those ideals, even if we do fall short of them. But the idea of a person aspiring to the ideals of a Sith as I described makes me a little nervous. Like, if I want to be more equanimous, compassionate, and thoughtful, most people would say that's a noble goal. But if I were to say that I want to be more close-minded, backstabbing, and power-hungry, most people might decide to keep their distance and wonder about my lifestyle choices. Personally, I don't know anyone irl who aspires to the Sith values I described (though I know plenty that live up to them...they just deny it, because whether they're aware or not, they're definitely not proud of the values they're exhibiting). Some old fart once said "Jedi ain't saints, and Sith ain't sinners," or something to that effect...
    • Yoga Camp (Last post by Edan)
    • Yoga Camp - Day 19 - 'I Respect' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_AgjOSsCKE&list=PLui6Eyny-Uzx5BRNB2_Kvycrn5h9OsaHC&index=20
    • Jedi do not smoke. (Last post by Jestor)
    • Den and I are still talking... He has decided to just take a sabbatical, and has not left for good, if I understand right... Time will tell... [attachment]
    • If you are not able to live it I feel there is som... (Last post by carlos.martinez3)
    • Quote: I have wondered about this very thing many times. It's cool and all, but what does it really change. No matter how many times I tell myself that there is no spoon I still can't just bend it with my mind. So does the idea that there is no spoon really matter? When in action everything to me matters.I never live in hypotheticals, waist of good thinking time to me...jk. But when we have an idea at least when I do or a thought, and I try it... everything matters. Did it work? Why why not. I break things down, it's my nature some times which CAN be disciplined. We can memorize creeds, wills, ways, words, but if they stay in the...realm of our minds and never happen... well then they never really happened . No exp points no credits no log in no nothing. Doesn't exist. That being said it is a scary thing. Action and change scare every one. No one is immune . How we react... there is the gravy!! Keep seeking friends, keep finding what you look for. Keep acting what you learn, it's called learning. If they don't work... think... use your bright light! Figure it out. Some times its just as easy as meditation then your like, we'll that s obvious now that I have taken time to stop n thing. That's one of many ideas here....TRY!

There are 169 visitors, 5 guests and 21 members online (none in chat): Br. John, Jestor, Trisskar, V-Tog, Rosalyn J, Khaos, Joxman, Kit, mdk, Edan, tzb, Tarran, Loudzoo, Tellahane, Ke JinnDakken, MadHatter, MartaLina, Brick, Kyrin Wyldstar, JamesSand, Amaterasu, x57z12, Leah Starspectre, Blitz7737, Jack, Jutus.

Follow Us