Transgender - An Identity Issue

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22 Aug 2019 12:56 #341729 by Williamkaede
Dealing with these culture and structural issues are part of my plans in other groups I'm a part of.

Passion, authenticity, power, victory.
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22 Aug 2019 13:01 #341730 by ZealotX

VixensVengeance wrote: So you do not agree that just because I identify as a black male I don't get the same privileges as other black males. So what gives a transgender woman the right to use the men's bathroom. She has not proven her lineage in the owning of a penis so why does she get to use a bathroom that is reserved for that lineage?


There was a time when black males couldn't use the same bathroom as whites. I don't know how you could honestly call it a privilege. Have you ever been in a ladies bathroom? They're almost always nicer. So why then would a transgender woman who identifies as a male want to use a 'worse' bathroom and enjoy the wafting aromas of the male rectum? Do you think she wants to look over the stall and see your pee pee? I don't think so. Using the bathroom isn't all about the other people that may or may not be in the bathroom. It's about remove liquid and solid waste from your body (and maybe some gases). It's not some holy place for the male phallus. If it makes you that uncomfortable go to the toilet stall. "He" is not there for you. He's not going to rape you. He just wants to pee and maybe take a dump.
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22 Aug 2019 13:04 - 22 Aug 2019 13:07 #341731 by Arinme

ZealotX wrote:

Arinme wrote: I'm a domestic violence victim saying this is domestic violence.


First off, Arinme, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you have suffered domestic violence. I can only hope that you have gotten away from your boyfriend, husband, or whoever it was who was doing that to you. There is never a justifiable reason or excuse for physical violence of that nature and I especially detest a man using his natural strength against a woman. I don't know how you are fighting back against that or how you are recovering from that, but I wish you the best and I hope you have a speedy recovery.

On the matter of gas lighting... I have to disagree you, unfortunately. You gave us a link as a reference.

www.thehotline.org/what-is-gaslighting/

This term comes from the 1938 stage play Gas Light, in which a husband attempts to drive his wife crazy by dimming the lights (which were powered by gas) in their home. When his wife points it out, he denies that the light changed. Gaslighting is an extremely effective form of emotional abuse that causes a victim to question their own feelings, instincts and sanity, which gives the abusive partner a lot of power (and we know that abuse is about power and control). Once an abusive partner has broken down the victim’s ability to trust their own perceptions, the victim is more likely to stay in the abusive relationship.


Thank you, because I didn't know all of this. So it was educational for me.

However, according to this link, that explains what gaslighting is, that you provided, we can clearly see that it is squarely within the context of domestic partners.

Does your partner repeatedly say things like this to you?


As someone with a bad memory (probably caused by sleep apnea) I had issues in my second marriage that one might argue fit into this description. Because it's your domestic partner it's hard to escape and you get sucked into fights you don't want to be in. I would literally try to go to a different room and be chased down. She would barge in just to continue the fight. I've been kicked, bitten, hit in the face, had things thrown at me (she had BPD), and had to clean up glass from lamps she would constantly break. I know domestic violence.

This is not domestic violence.

This is not gas lighting.

The context is about a domestic relationship where you are in a confined space with your partner. Furthermore, do you have a bad memory? Even if you did it wouldn't matter. This is an online forum. Everything you say is literally recorded. Gaslighting, as described by your link, wouldn't even work under these conditions. No one is defining reality for you. There isn't even the threat of that. You don't know us. You have no reason to be in a position described in your link. So let's please move on from this because it really belittles the actual cases of gaslighting suffered by real people. If you have something to say about the transgender identity that is germane to what has been said in this thread, feel free to share. But going back and forth with people and hurling accusations does nothing to benefit the discussion and will certainly be seen as a divisive tactic to derail the thread. If I or any other poster said something wrong on the issue then explain why its wrong. Talking about domestic violence hurts your credibility, not the person you directed it to.


I'm still being told my abuse isn't real. ._.

Also, I don't think about my gender identity any more than you do. *Sigh*
Last edit: 22 Aug 2019 13:07 by Arinme.

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22 Aug 2019 13:07 #341733 by rugadd
When I was younger, I feared things done to me would be done again. In order to get ahead of it, to protect myself, I blew the whistle whether it was happening or not. I stopped when I realized I was, myself, hurting people.

rugadd
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22 Aug 2019 13:09 - 22 Aug 2019 13:09 #341735 by Arinme

rugadd wrote: When I was younger, I feared things done to me would be done again. In order to get ahead of it, to protect myself, I blew the whistle whether it was happening or not. I stopped when I realized I was, myself, hurting people.


I blow the whistle when it's happening because my oath demands it. No exceptions.

Or it's narcissism.
Last edit: 22 Aug 2019 13:09 by Arinme.
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22 Aug 2019 13:09 #341736 by Brick

Arinme wrote: I'm still being told my abuse isn't real. ._.

I am an actual case of gaslighting, okay?


Clearly there is an issue here where you feel you are being abused, and others cannot see the abuse occurring. As far I'm aware, this thread has been your only real interaction on this site in the past 6 months. So I'm assuming you believe the abuse has occurred in this thread.

Can you provide an example of it? Like a quote from one of the posts here which you believe constitutes abuse?

I think that would probably help people see it better

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22 Aug 2019 13:13 - 22 Aug 2019 13:18 #341737 by Arinme

Brick wrote:

Arinme wrote: I'm still being told my abuse isn't real. ._.

I am an actual case of gaslighting, okay?


Clearly there is an issue here where you feel you are being abused, and others cannot see the abuse occurring. As far I'm aware, this thread has been your only real interaction on this site in the past 6 months. So I'm assuming you believe the abuse has occurred in this thread.

Can you provide an example of it? Like a quote from one of the posts here which you believe constitutes abuse?

I think that would probably help people see it better


Read more carefully and trust your instincts.

Arinme wrote:

VixensVengeance wrote:

Arinme wrote:

rugadd wrote: Why are you here?


I'm taking the bait. That's why. -.-

And yes, my posts keep changing. I'm trying to figure out how to explain over a decade of assimilated knowledge so nobody speaks over me and I actually feel safe here.

But, er, I'm also recovering from psychopathic abuse and should not be here.



Taking the bait? Not a valid interpretation. Better you take your own advice and not participate in these sorts of places until you are in a more stable place.


Now you're gaslighting me.


Did that look like the dark side to you? It was.
Last edit: 22 Aug 2019 13:18 by Arinme.
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22 Aug 2019 13:19 #341738 by ZealotX

Phoenix Vidensia wrote: Huh? I've yet to see evidence that gender dysphoria is anything other than psychological. Furthermore, I'm strongly against what you are suggesting, since again, there is a lack of evidence to support this being a genetic disorder. Lastly, we don't have such technology available, so your entire point is utterly worthless.


That's odd because on page 1 I felt SilverGear had a very good case. Gender dysphoria is a psychological condition. However, don't confuse that with its source. The source could be some other psychological condition or trauma. But it could also result from something physical. In the case that was shared on page 1 we're talking about XX chromosome which should produce all the chemicals needed for female parts. But people don't always have a chemical balance (all humans are both male and female to a degree) to make one gender the clear dominant factor.

As far as technology...

Sex assignment (sometimes known as gender assignment) is the determination of an infant's sex at birth. In the majority of births, a relative, midwife, nurse or physician inspects the genitalia when the baby is delivered, and sex and gender are assigned, without the expectation of ambiguity. - Google


But we have the technology, do we not, to read the DNA and determine gender from other tests.

here's more:

About 1 out of every 4,000 babies are born "intersex," with both male and female sexual traits...

Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]


so we have hormone malfunction as the "most often" cause. And we're talking about 1 out of every 4,000 babies who are affected. This is before "nurture" has a chance to even become a factor. This is, at this point, all "nature".

Birth certificates demanded a "male" or "female" classification, and doctors desired to deliver. Thus, when a newborn's sex was unclear, physicians would perform gender reassignment surgery.

Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]


So again, since we do have "the technology", which could probably be greatly improved upon with more investment, I think what I said has merit rather than what you called it. Which was "useless"? No... "worthless". You shouldn't be so quick to judge (or dismiss).
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22 Aug 2019 13:22 - 22 Aug 2019 13:23 #341739 by Brick

Arinme wrote:

Arinme wrote:

VixensVengeance wrote:

Arinme wrote:

rugadd wrote: Why are you here?


I'm taking the bait. That's why. -.-

And yes, my posts keep changing. I'm trying to figure out how to explain over a decade of assimilated knowledge so nobody speaks over me and I actually feel safe here.

But, er, I'm also recovering from psychopathic abuse and should not be here.



Taking the bait? Not a valid interpretation. Better you take your own advice and not participate in these sorts of places until you are in a more stable place.


Now you're gaslighting me.


Did that look like the dark side to you? It was.


Forgive me, but it appears that all VixensVengeance is doing here is agreeing with you. This doesn't appear to meet your definition of gaslighting

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Last edit: 22 Aug 2019 13:23 by Brick.
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22 Aug 2019 13:23 #341740 by Kobos
So, excuse me if this seems offensive but what can we do to appease you here?

After we take that action does it mean we can have the actual discussion that though the OP put poorly could be a discussion that would be well worth having for the non-trans people willing to learn like myself or is this the culmination and as far as this idea is going to be carried?

Like I said there is things to be considered above my imagined pay grade in light of new information, but I still wanted to have a discussion because this could educate me, my original questions still sit, but instead this is what we get.

Much Love,
Kobos

Fighting what you cannot see, will only lead you to lash out with violence towards everyone. Know your enemy, and you may find yourself a friend.

You can act real rude and totally removed
And I can act like an imbecile- Men without hats

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TB:Nakis
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