Bullying

A while ago , well a long while ago someone registred an account , he was a little lad , with a big problem , he is being bullied , now i dont know the extend of how much he is being bullied but when i read the message of a young kid in my birthtown that commited suicide because he got pestered every day , kids stealing his money and when the money ran out they made his life hell
They send online and off line threats to his life , a few stating that it was better if he commited suicide as so they have not to look at his face again, He broke and cut his wrists, And then i think of that lad that made an account , telling us he is bullied...

Why am a telling this :

Well , because i hope that everyone who comes in here knows that this is a safe place , when you are bullied , here or anywhere else , know that you can contact any Knight here to talk to , if we cannot handle it , we can refer you to someone who can , dont let the Bullies win , speak up !

Our inboxes are open ...

Heerlen

I hope to never see nonsense like that here but unfortunately for some its human nature to put down or bully someone. Some find satisfaction in others dismay. Sick as it is it happans. Thankfully the we also have people ready yo combat this not with fists... but intelect. Its a behavior with time thst can change. I KNOW because ive seen it.

Bullying can take many different forms , from abusing authority to ignoring someone , so it can be very hard to detect , especially the ignoring part. And it is indeed good to talk about it without resorting to violence

MartaLina wrote: Bullying can take many different forms , from abusing authority to ignoring someone , so it can be very hard to detect , especially the ignoring part. And it is indeed good to talk about it without resorting to violence

I don't view ignoring someone as a form of Bullying. People can tend to get on my last nerve sometimes, so I ignore them, that somehow makes me a bully? Shrugs....

Forcing someone to acknowledge you when that someone is being a twat, that's being a bully, not to mention a major pest...

Zenchi wrote:

MartaLina wrote: Bullying can take many different forms , from abusing authority to ignoring someone , so it can be very hard to detect , especially the ignoring part. And it is indeed good to talk about it without resorting to violence

I don't view ignoring someone as a form of Bullying. People can tend to get on my last nerve sometimes, so I ignore them, that somehow makes me a bully? Shrugs....

Forcing someone to acknowledge you when that someone is being a twat, that's being a bully, not to mention a major pest...

There is that side too ...

I need to speak up here, as someone who grew up severely bullied.

I don't think silence is bullying act in an of itself, like, say, insulting someone is. However, it can be used for bullying. I know because I've experienced it. Silence, excluding, ignoring...while they can be not-bullying of course, they are certainly used to bully people.

I still get upset if I think someone I care about isn't speaking to me, or seems to be avoiding/ignoring me. Not because they actually are, but because I spent my childhood being bullied with these tactics, so it became an ingrained reaction.

Leah Starspectre wrote: I need to speak up here, as someone who grew up severely bullied.

I don't think silence is bullying act in an of itself, like, say, insulting someone is. However, it can be used for bullying. I know because I've experienced it. Silence, excluding, ignoring...while they can be not-bullying of course, they are certainly used to bully people.

I still get upset if I think someone I care about isn't speaking to me, or seems to be avoiding/ignoring me. Not because they actually are, but because I spent my childhood being bullied with these tactics, so it became an ingrained reaction.

Yes thats the kind of bullying that i was refering to , that people that you are depending on for live support , ignore you just because they can , denying you to build up a basic trust in people and life , that is a horrible experience

idk, it's not like I haven't experienced that either. I have, even from family members, but I could walk away from that, it wasn't exactly the same or even nearly as bad as me getting my ass beat on a daily basis. I couldn't walk away from that. Not that physical abuse is the only form of bullying, it's not.

I think it's a little precarious labeling people ignoring you as "bullies," especially with so many people reading these forums, people can jump to conclusions pretty quick. I mean nobody likes being ignored but calling someone a name because we didn't get closure or we didn't get acknowledged or validated?

It sucks being Ignored, but we get to choose how we react to that. I've been ignored by quite a few people, it's taught me that I shouldn't really care what other people think. I choose to rise above it and not sink to that level by calling them names because I didn't get what I wanted out of it. Not everyone's going to react to us the way we want them to, that doesn't make them bullies, perhaps a bit human.

We should be mindful how we label people....

I agree with Zenchi.

I realize not everyone can have the same resolve as to rise above the problems they face, such as someone ignoring you. But the act of Ignoring itself is not enough to call "Bullying"

Bullying is alot like rape in that, you are given no choice to walk away and are outnumbered from your own ability to protect yourself from it. Thus, bullied.

Being ignored by someone is just that someones problems and you have a choice to not let it get to you or go to someone else that can help you get through your own problems.

But regardless.....Not trying to derail from the main purpose and point of this thread. I agree....we as Jedi should be supportive and there for people who were and/or are bullied. However, I also feel it is extremely important for Jedi, and especially Knights to tread on careful waters when conducting online service to those who seek support from bullying. Unless you are there in person to witness and actively take part in the acts being done....it can be a very tricky and sometimes even legal and murky problem as you, here, at the temple, online....far far from the source...only has minimal perspective of the situation.

Listen. Yes.

But be careful when offering advice.

Like I said, ignoring someone doesn't automatically label you as a bully, but people will ignore or exclude someone as a way to bully them. It's a form of psychological abuse, like gaslighting. I'm not suggesting that simply ignoring someone makes you a bully, because there are valid and healthy reasons to do so. However, the fact remains that bullies will exclude and ignore in order to purposefully make a person feel worthless or invisible.

And I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss the severity of psychological bullying, either. It's not always possible for someone to "walk away" from someone who has gotten their way into their mind. Physical and psychological bullying are both equally deplorable, even if one leaves physical scars, and the other mental ones.