Mortose: Public Journal

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11 Mar 2014 23:08 #141085 by Andy Spalding



Indeed.

The Old Doris wrote: If Morty has been banned why are peeps still waffling on as if she were still here.. She most certainly has left an impression lol x


Better yourself to better serve others.
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12 Mar 2014 03:08 #141107 by Brenna
Replied by Brenna on topic Mortose: Public Journal
Thank you Andy!!





Walking, stumbling on these shadowfeet

Part of the seduction of most religions is the idea that if you just say the right things and believe really hard, your salvation will be at hand.

With Jediism. No one is coming to save you. You have to get off your ass and do it yourself - Me
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28 Jul 2017 04:18 - 28 Jul 2017 04:35 #293140 by Mortose
Replied by Mortose on topic Mortose: Public Journal

Mortose wrote: To Those I Loath: An Enraged Rant


To those I loath. To those pitiful sacks of putrid flesh that dare claim they know something of the dark. To you mindless canisters of sweat, cum, blood and piss. You, the claimed dark adherents. The dark adepts... The masters. What do you know of dark spirituality? You who write so eloquently about selfishness, about how darkness is individual. Are you so spineless? Define the dark! Define it and make it your own! No! Why would you be so daring? Why would you cease your Round Robin game of circle jerk philosophizing when it deludes you that you actually mean something? You crave that meaning! How horrible it might be if you had to realize that you and your life mean nothing! That your hopes and dreams are completely irrelevant to the powers of reality. So, of course you will cling to whatever meaning you have constructed for yourselves! That you have some purpose found in the abundance of accolades you receive from you band of mindless followers? You are so great, so smart, so well written... So clever! Do you not tire of hearing it?

A Dark Master should not be loved or given accolades! A Dark Master should personify destruction, despair... hostility. They should embody everything that is darkness at the core of the human psyche! They should be the image of fear itself... Monsters free from moral limitation completely unbound to feast as we will on the world.

Let fools assume we roam about their society unchecked. Let those pitiful rodents worry we might snatch up their children, brutalize them... Perhaps boil and eat their flesh. Let them fear! Let them presume we are murderers, thieves and beasts only after our own pleasures! Let them assume! Let them call on their law to protect them from the monsters they dare not comprehend and when that law comes to us, we shall laugh for we have done no wrong!


2017 Mortose: What did I just read? Why did I even write this? It has no beneficial function. It is insulting and crude. "A Dark Master should personify destruction, despair... hostility." That is absurd. What sort of definition of darkness did I have when I wrote this? "Monsters free of moral limitation completely unbound to feast as we will on the world." Was I just trying to sound dramatic here? The last part I will not even retype because I now understand exactly why I was banned.

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Last edit: 28 Jul 2017 04:35 by Mortose.
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28 Jul 2017 04:25 - 28 Jul 2017 04:28 #293143 by Mortose
Replied by Mortose on topic Mortose: Public Journal

Mortose wrote: "Darkness", as I understand it

Yes, darkness is destruction. However, not out of exactly malicious intent. I have found the Dark to be beyond such concepts that relate to human consciousness. It has a collective "will", a movement... A current. It pulls you into its black depths, smothers you... Whispers into your ears. It is not anger or hate in itself, yet such things cycle around it as if it was a collapsed star... The center of which is not nothing but anti-everything.

2017 Mortose: No...

Mortose wrote: To explain something, negative emotion vibrates at a lower frequency than positive; something I learned long ago from my studies and practice with healing and directing "light" frequencies. I later cemented this when I began working with more negative emotions, finding them more "dense"... Heavier... Their vibrations more drawn out... Oscellating... Slow.

2017 Mortose: No...

Mortose wrote: The Darkness does not fit into this system of frequency; it "vibrates" in the negative.

2017 Mortose: ... No

Mortose wrote: It destroys because it is like anti-matter to matter; the two can not exist in the same space... They wage a constant battle of annhiliation.

2017 Mortose: No... :blink:

Mortose wrote: However, the Darkness has a centralized "space"... A "place" it inhabits devoid of all particle... Material... Thought. Oblivion, basically. At the center of this mass of Darkness, no emotion exists but it is not silent exactly. It SCREAMS into your very soul if you happen to find yourself there.

The negativity surrounding its core... Layer on layer... This is what reaches out to touch the material. This is what most feel when they experience "Darkness". It is what the light siders acknowledge and often claim has no power over them... or power in general.

This is the destructive force that moves in waves and ripples, touching all manifestation.[/i]

2017 Mortose: Strike through, period.

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Last edit: 28 Jul 2017 04:28 by Mortose.
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28 Jul 2017 04:30 #293144 by Mortose
Replied by Mortose on topic Mortose: Public Journal

Mortose wrote: Jestor, perhaps then it will not come as a surprise when I state that what I have experienced as "darkness" has no direct parallels in science or mythology that I can find. When I define "darkness" as an anti vibration, I do so because this is how I can explain what I experienced. "Darkness" is the word I have used for this, though perhaps negation fits more cleanly, since "darkness" is often described as the absence of light; a physical thing. What I describe is not a physical thing, it is by its nature anti physical. Perhaps what I am doing is redefining a word to suit my views, though I would not be the first and I doubt I will be the last.

As for darkness being destruction, yes it is but that is not all it is. I will not be one to claim darkness is just destruction, as then a volcano exploding could be "dark" and it is not; a volcano exploding is a force of nature. In the splitting of an atom, it is not darkness that is released, though it is destructive in certain instances. Plague is not darkness either, it is illness. All of the above can be as destructive and creative as well. Like how volcanic eruptions shaped the land masses of the world we know today... Like how atoms can be used to heat homes... Like how plague can alter the density of a population, or how cooled magma breaks down to become nutrients for soil.

No natural force is "dark". Such "darkness" is based on something being creative or destructive and in this, there is it's flaw. So then what is darkness? It is a word I am using to define what I glimpsed through personal experience. It is something I steadily work to understand and one day I will have put it into words, even if I obstruct and veil the definition at that time so others will have to find it on their own.


2017 Mortose: Can I just strike through the entire journal? :blink:

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28 Jul 2017 04:33 - 28 Jul 2017 04:36 #293145 by Mortose
Replied by Mortose on topic Mortose: Public Journal
2017 Mortose:

I pronounce this journal condemned. I will not be writing in it again.

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Last edit: 28 Jul 2017 04:36 by Mortose.
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07 Jun 2019 06:40 #339350 by Mortose
Replied by Mortose on topic Mortose: Public Journal
-2019-

I just read through all 55 pages of this journal and my feelings are mixed. Regret, envy, sorrow, anger, laughter at the "stuffed fish" remark, confusion and disappointment.

I am "writing in this again" because I've pretty much swung polar opposite to who I was, only to end up at the very beginning. So, I figure, why not contradict what "2017 Mortose" said about not writing in here again?

To all who are reading this who I have hurt or who have found the content to be deeply disturbing, I apologize. I am sorry.

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07 Jun 2019 12:23 #339355 by Zenchi
Replied by Zenchi on topic Mortose: Public Journal

Mortose wrote: -2019-

I just read through all 55 pages of this journal and my feelings are mixed. Regret, envy, sorrow, anger, laughter at the "stuffed fish" remark, confusion and disappointment.

I am "writing in this again" because I've pretty much swung polar opposite to who I was, only to end up at the very beginning. So, I figure, why not contradict what "2017 Mortose" said about not writing in here again?

To all who are reading this who I have hurt or who have found the content to be deeply disturbing, I apologize. I am sorry.


Not good enough, you went out of your way to frighten quite a few of our members, many of which have left and not returned....

My Word is my Honor, and my Honor is my Life ~ Sturm Brightblade
Passion, yet Serenity
Knighted Apprentice Arisaig
TM- RyuJin
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07 Jun 2019 15:12 #339367 by Mortose
Replied by Mortose on topic Mortose: Public Journal
Is an apology ever good enough? Unlikely. Can it fix past mistakes? No. However, it's there, I mean it. Do with it what you will.

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07 Jun 2019 15:29 - 07 Jun 2019 15:58 #339368 by Zenchi
Replied by Zenchi on topic Mortose: Public Journal
Simple words in text do nothing to comfort all the people you victimized here, if you're truly apologetic to those individuals, please show remorse and leave Mortose...

My Word is my Honor, and my Honor is my Life ~ Sturm Brightblade
Passion, yet Serenity
Knighted Apprentice Arisaig
TM- RyuJin
Last edit: 07 Jun 2019 15:58 by Zenchi.

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