Mortose: Public Journal
Mortose wrote: "Darkness", as I understand it
Yes, darkness is destruction. However, not out of exactly malicious intent. I have found the Dark to be beyond such concepts that relate to human consciousness. It has a collective "will", a movement... A current. It pulls you into its black depths, smothers you... Whispers into your ears. It is not anger or hate in itself, yet such things cycle around it as if it was a collapsed star... The center of which is not nothing but anti-everything.
You know, as I read this, I thought:
DarknessLife", as I understand it[/color]
darkness islife has destruction. However, not out of exactly malicious intent. I have found the Darklife to be beyond such concepts that relate to human consciousness. It has a collective "will", a movement... A current. It pulls you into its blackdepths, smothers you... Whispers into your ears. It is not anger or hatehappiness or love in itself, yet such things cycle around it as if it was a collapsedstar... The center of which is not nothing but anti-everything.
To explain something, negative emotion vibrates at a lower frequency than positive; something I learned long ago from my studies and practice with healing and directing "light" frequencies. I later cemented this when I began working with more negative emotions, finding them more "dense"... Heavier... Their vibrations more drawn out... Oscellating... Slow.
The Darkness does not fit into this system of frequency; it "vibrates" in the negative.
It destroys because it is like anti-matter to matter; the two can not exist in the same space... They wage a constant battle of annhiliation.
However, the Darkness has a centralized "space"... A "place" it inhabits devoid of all particle... Material... Thought. Oblivion, basically. At the center of this mass of Darkness, no emotion exists but it is not silent exactly. It SCREAMS into your very soul if you happen to find yourself there.
The negativity surrounding its core... Layer on layer... This is what reaches out to touch the material. This is what most feel when they experience "Darkness". It is what the light siders acknowledge and often claim has no power over them... or power in general.
This is the destructive force that moves in waves and ripples, touching all manifestation.[/i]
I dont feel I am being dense, so please further indulge me...
I Looked up 'negative frequencies, but as of yet, from quick glances at various sites, it seems to not exist except as a mathamatical idea... So I am requesting further proof it exists...
I still fail to see the 'dark', I see less light...
Which, as I said, can be proven to be everywhere...
In your first sentence, you said: "Yes, darkness is destruction."
Are you defining darkness as destruction?
When a atom is split, is it darkness, or light that comes out? It is the destruction of the most basic of building components, so I figure it should be represented there as well...
Sith ain't Evil...
Jedi ain't Saints....
"Bake or bake not. There is no fry" - Sean Ching
Current Apprentices: Viskhard, DanWerts, Llama Su, Trisskar
Former Apprentices: Knight Learn_To_Know, Knight Edan, Knight Brenna, Knight Madhatter
As for darkness being destruction, yes it is but that is not all it is. I will not be one to claim darkness is just destruction, as then a volcano exploding could be "dark" and it is not; a volcano exploding is a force of nature. In the splitting of an atom, it is not darkness that is released, though it is destructive in certain instances. Plague is not darkness either, it is illness. All of the above can be as destructive and creative as well. Like how volcanic eruptions shaped the land masses of the world we know today... Like how atoms can be used to heat homes... Like how plague can alter the density of a population, or how cooled magma breaks down to become nutrients for soil.
No natural force is "dark". Such "darkness" is based on something being creative or destructive and in this, there is it's flaw. So then what is darkness? It is a word I am using to define what I glimpsed through personal experience. It is something I steadily work to understand and one day I will have put it into words, even if I obstruct and veil the definition at that time so others will have to find it on their own.
My understanding of physics tells me this is slightly implausible, because isn't vibration oscillation? and wouldn't a negative oscillation put forth some form of, y'know, positive kind of evidence of itself?
Mortose wrote: The Darkness does not fit into this system of frequency; it "vibrates" in the negative.
Maybe I'm wrong, but that just seems logical to me.
the effects are experienced as . . low vibrations, separation, destruction, loss, depression, etc.
the more it is valued as reality . the more real it seems . .
the more spiraled out, manifested . . . the more steps and more work to peel back . .
it is possible . . and it is doable . . . the mind that desires to free itself is far more powerful than the perceptions of collective consciousness. . .dark energy is a movement that comes from within . . a movement from without is created from within a mind that sees it as such . . . there is no dark force, there is negative fearful emotions . . there is me . . . not a victim . . nor powerless . . . . .
I am splitting hairs, defining and redefining "darkness"' all in effort to keep a word. Yet why do I go through so much drama just to cling on to a word meaning "the absence of light" or something unpleasant to human sensibilities, such as a "dark thought" or action. In part it is because it was under the label "dark" that I came on the understandings I have.
So let me make it clear, many years ago I had this idea that there was "something" beyond energy. Originally, the insight to exploit further came to me while I stared at my own hand with fingers spread and extended in a low light environment. As I gazed at my aura and the very energy that mace up my hand, I realized this same energy made up everything else. It made up the LCD computer monitor on my desk... It made up the desk! It moved around the room, it floated freely in current.
The next time I meditated, it was in near darkness (as in the absence of light). There I was centered on the stone floor of my room, starting at the yellow glowing light that was the wall control for the touch lighting. I first observed the molecular structure of the plastic encasing the small light, then to the current of energy moving through the wall control itself. I watched it move in circuit, then decided to test my ideas that there was "something" beyond energy.
I pushed my awareness beyond the emerge movement that made the circuit and then, something truly strange happened. I saw a void, something that was so unusual that the experience of it physically threw me backwards two feet! It was not a massive force, more of something that caused me to stumble from my seated position, falling over mostly and ending up two feet from my original position.
The void I felt seemed alive, organic... Somehow "alive" yet it felt wholly empty. After this, it was some years before I tested this idea again, and when I finally did it changed me. See, I had been speculating that black holes were symbiotically similar enough to what I experienced that perhaps meditating on one might provide me the answers as to what this force was. This idea proved devastating!
When I mediated on the black hole, (once again physically seated in the center of my room... a different room mind you), I felt physically cold, crushed... My physical vision ceased soon into the exercise and the cold soon became so wretched, it felt like the room belonged in the arctic! This type of cold was ridiculous, considering it was the middle of summer and the house had no air conditioning. Regardless, I continued.
For over an hour I moved through that black hole, and then finally I got what I came for. The cold stopped and I passed beyond the singularity. It was agony to get to this point, yet it happened. The "reality" on the other side was like nothing I could understand. Silence was deafening, temperature did not exist yet it did (cold to the bones of the soul, the flesh feeling nothing now). Thought also was unusual, as if I was "aware" in one instant and then not in the next. "Breath" seemed to exist all around me, yet there was no standard "presence" near to breathe. Time also was effected, as if it ran not forward or backward but in multiple directions at once. There was no emotion, yet something was"staring" at me. There was no form as I know form, yet the seeming emptiness was shaped into a beast... Rather, glimpses of a beast... A dragon like entity that shifted from existing to not, add much as I shifted from existing to not and then... Blink... Existing.
The "vibration" overpowered vibration of my being, much as the "sound" of this reality overpowered "sound" creating a silence that screamed. When I finally was pulled out if this meditation from am unknown source... and when my vision returned to me, it was bathed in indigo ambience. Reality itself was distant seeming, almost less dense... Everything felt so alien. When I fully came out of this, I lost all touch with my psychic abilities and belief itself in anything for a full year. I also lost a feeling part of myself, a part that allowed me to care about others.
Mortose wrote: A Closer Examination
I am splitting hairs, defining and redefining "darkness"' all in effort to keep a word.
What if it is I who gave it all the meaning it has?
What if it is only I that gave/gives it life, meaning and power?
Are we soldiers? Do we march in long lines for those things we believe in? Do we believe in anything enough to hold up it's banner and proclaim it to the sleeping world? What do we fight for? I write here of the "Lords" and the "Masters" of the dark path. What do we march for? Do we march? What do we fight for? What would we die for? I can only answer these questions for myself, as this path takes different turns and is traveled differently for all who walk it.
Do I march? I can say that yes... I do. I do carry a banner and march through the sleeping wastes of what claims itself dark. I do seek to prove to those I see as fools that they are wrong... and there I have said it. "Wrong", as if I know the sole "right" on this path. How utterly arrogant of me! So... Now, yes I still march but I do so to my own destination and for my own answers.
What do I fight for? Answers. I fight for my answers, to understand all I have experienced. To understand it so I can better use it. For what though? What can I better use it for? I can better use it to grow and accomplish those things I desire to accomplish. What do I desire to accomplish? Everyone wants personal power... Power over others. Well... Most do. So I want that but I also want this to be my last time around, my last existence as an incarnated being. That is a more difficult goal though, so I begin with understanding the dark. I crawl before I walk, then... I run... and then, I leap.
What would I die for? I would die in the attempt to get those things I desire. I would die following my passions. But for? Nothing! There is nothing that moves me enough to die for it as of yet. Now... Am I a soldier? No. I am not. I am an agent, one who uses deception, stealth, cunning and other facilities to get what I desire.
Man supporting man in an embrace of brotherhood, fighting for the values of the group. Fighting for honor... For freedom. Fighting for... Expending themselves for goals they did not design. Goals like building an empire, a grand army of "darkness", a new order of... (insert name of malevolent sounding organization here). Goals that are formed by the leaders of their cult or even all of them as a group. Goals that might lead them to individual power but rarely do so, as the power is spread too thin among what has now become a herd.
The weakest follow the strongest and the blind follow the blind... and the man with a single eye is king, whether he can see reality unobscured by personal perception through it or not.
What is honor to one of the dark? What is freedom? Can brotherhood even exist in such a path?
Honor... When I think of this I think of not letting someone else down, not breaking a promise... Not becoming so weak I can not fend for myself. I think of those who have value systems... Morals, and those morals dictate a "code of honor". A "code" by which one must live by, lest he lose his honor. Honor might be giving your life for a clan, tribe or family member if their endangerment was your fault. Honor might be not stealing from those of your group. It can be many things, none of which I find present in myself.
I see honor as motivated by guilt and guilt is something I just do not have. Me aside, can there be honor in the dark path? Is there a type of "honor among thieves"? Only the readers can answer this for their own walk, as for me honor has no place and no importance.
What of brotherhood? Does brotherhood have a place in the dark path? Sure, as a useful lie to tell those following you off the cliff. Beyond that, "brothers" on the dark path are rivals, each struggling to rise higher than the other and using any means to do it. There is no "brotherhood" or sense of "family" on this path, only endless competition. Only endless attempts to usurp, defame, sabotage, befriend in order to betray... and then betrayal itself.
What is freedom? Freedom is different to different people. For example, some see freedom as a family, a house, a car and no debt. The "American dream". Others see freedom in being able to do exactly as they please, to live their dreams... their fantasies. Considering most people can do all of the above this very moment, what stops them? The law, most times. Various other non legal consequences, during most others. Like a man who has children and is raising them himself cannot generally go live his dreams as a deep sea crabber, as he has the guilt of overseeing the growth of his children.
Freedom to me is the breaking of chains. It is removing what hinders me on any level including psychological bindings. To be free of those however is not possible, as new chains always form in place of old ones. Sometimes they become like the Hydra, multiplying in their place until they overtake the very body they cover in their thick coiling metal bodies.