The Cycle

13 Nov 2017 19:00 #305987 by Reacher
Reacher created the topic: The Cycle
Last weekend my Siberian Husky nearly passed away from illness. No one is really certain as to what it was, but he is better now. He stopped eating for nearly three days and vacated just about everything from his insides that wasn't essential. He weakened to such a state that I sincerely thought his time had come - which was okay because he is over fourteen years old now. He couldn't lift his head, so I would push fluids via syringe into his mouth. I took him to the vet on the second day, and they could find nothing wrong with him. The vet explained that, even if they could detect what was wrong...they might not be able to treat it. Also, that if nothing seemed wrong but Eskimo (Mo for short) was in bad shape, it was likely cancer. So for a few nights I laid by him on the floor, listening to his breathing become softer and softer and watch his eyes close as he drifted. On the third evening he accepted some Pedialyte via syringe...then cake icing...then a chicken finger...then canned dog food. By day five he was back on his feet, friskier than I'd seen him in years. My family and I were thrilled.

Then the next day (this Wednesday) I injured my back exercising. Badly. Immediately following, it took me ten minutes to stand from the gym floor. Once I did, I somehow threw myself into my Jeep, drove home, and fell on the floor in my house. On the third day I agreed to let a couple friends load me up into their SUV via stretcher and go to the hospital. Thank goodness it's only a muscular affliction. The ER doc loaded me up with some pain meds and muscle relaxers and sent me home. Today, (Monday) is the first time I've been able to stand since I went down. I've been sleeping, eating, EXISTING on a pallet in my living room since the first day. Each evening shambled out of the bedroom (his usual sleeping spot) and curl up next to me. Every night. He was sleeping with me the way I slept with him just a couple days before. And when a friend came by to drop some books off at the house, he laid down between us the entire time. It left me with a very warm feeling.

As for how I spent my time during most of the last week, if I wasn't actively engaged trying to eat or drink, I meditated. Really, it was just about all I could do. I couldn't even type on a keyboard. I spent a great deal of time breathing...trying to unclench the muscles at the base of my spine. That week was the most helpless I've ever been in my life - I was a complete dependent. I gained so much appreciation for my health and my family. I am still on the floor typing this, but I can stand when I want to, even walk a bit.

It'll be some time before I can fully appreciate this ordeal, but I can already tell my perspective has shifted in a significant way. I came to appreciate the people around me more, sure...but I also examined how I gave my life meaning. I don't have any conclusions yet, but I'm working on it. I felt and feel that, though life meaning is a very personal thing, simply HAVING meaning in life is absolutely essential. I didn't have any negative feeling about mine, only that I need to examine it more closely so as to coalesce with it in a more constructive way. I plan to retool some things and shift focus.

I just wanted to share. :)

"Perfection is achieved not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away"
The following user(s) said Thank You: Karn, Alexandre Orion, elizabeth, Avalon, Cyan Sarden, Skryym, Arisaig, MarVinKra, stark07911

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15 Nov 2017 08:45 #306088 by stark07911
stark07911 replied the topic: The Cycle
Very touching story and one I can relate to in more than one way. Thank you for sharing.

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