Big life choices

  • maynoth
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15 Jan 2013 13:44 - 15 Jan 2013 13:48 #89425 by maynoth
Replied by maynoth on topic Big life choices

Alluvius wrote: oh, and, PS...a single man canNOT build a castle with no help. It isn't possible. Unless you only intend for it to be like 5 feet high. lol




www.bishopcastle.org
Last edit: 15 Jan 2013 13:48 by maynoth.

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15 Jan 2013 13:54 - 15 Jan 2013 13:55 #89427 by maynoth
Replied by maynoth on topic Big life choices

Alluvius wrote: The only way you don't may any progress toward your dreams before you die is to simply give up and not put forth the effort...which it's beginning to sound like you have.


Just to clarify, I can dedicate my life to my dreams and work a part time job and live in extreme poverty.

Or I can pursue a professional career, and pursue my dream as time allows, which means it will never be accomplished before I die.


Those are my options, short of winning a huge lottery jackpot.


I am not asking if I should give up on life and not put forth any effort, both paths will require huge amounts of effort.


What I am doing now; trying to work a normal job, and pursue my dreams is giving the worst of both worlds, I make no money, and my dreams are dead in the water.

Something needs to change.
Last edit: 15 Jan 2013 13:55 by maynoth.

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  • Adservio
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15 Jan 2013 14:49 #89442 by Adservio
Replied by Adservio on topic Big life choices

maynoth wrote:

Alluvius wrote: The only way you don't may any progress toward your dreams before you die is to simply give up and not put forth the effort...which it's beginning to sound like you have.


Just to clarify, I can dedicate my life to my dreams and work a part time job and live in extreme poverty.

Or I can pursue a professional career, and pursue my dream as time allows, which means it will never be accomplished before I die.


Those are my options, short of winning a huge lottery jackpot.


I am not asking if I should give up on life and not put forth any effort, both paths will require huge amounts of effort.


What I am doing now; trying to work a normal job, and pursue my dreams is giving the worst of both worlds, I make no money, and my dreams are dead in the water.

Something needs to change.



I don't know you, your situation or any details about your goals and dreams. I don't need to. Your question is one that no one but you can answer and fishing for advice on life-changing decisions on an internet forum is an indicator of confusion, fear or reluctance on your part and, no matter how well-meaning we may be, no one can properly advise you on such a matter but yourself. In life we sometimes simply must make a choice and accept the consequences. For difficult decisions there can sometimes be no clear answer. That doesn't change that fact that only you can make that decision.

Clearly, you are well aware of the difficulties and challenges of either path. If you are determined to stick to a binary, either/or scenario then I think that you will be disappointed regardless of what you choose. Just remember that you are the architect of your position in life and if you choose goals that are truly mutually exclusive, then perhaps you need to reevaluate your life-planning.

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15 Jan 2013 15:02 - 15 Jan 2013 15:17 #89444 by maynoth
Replied by maynoth on topic Big life choices

Adservio wrote:


I don't know you, your situation or any details about your goals and dreams. I don't need to. Your question is one that no one but you can answer and fishing for advice on life-changing decisions on an internet forum is an indicator of confusion, fear or reluctance on your part and, no matter how well-meaning we may be, no one can properly advise you on such a matter but yourself. In life we sometimes simply must make a choice and accept the consequences. For difficult decisions there can sometimes be no clear answer. That doesn't change that fact that only you can make that decision.

Clearly, you are well aware of the difficulties and challenges of either path. If you are determined to stick to a binary, either/or scenario then I think that you will be disappointed regardless of what you choose. Just remember that you are the architect of your position in life and if you choose goals that are truly mutually exclusive, then perhaps you need to reevaluate your life-planning.


You are right, I've been struggling with this for many years, but recently it's come to a head. I need to make a call.

Either way I give up something really important to me.

I am evenly split in an internal battle, which is why I came asking for advice.

I am going to be disappointed no matter what I choose, as each choice requires a large sacrifice, the middle path I have now also is unsatisfactory.

I am not sure life planning has much to do with it I have an unrealistic dream, something on the magnitude of building a castle by myself, barehanded.

The dream is absolutely and totally unrealistic in our day and age, but that doesn't mean that people haven't done it, just that they are very few indeed, and they gave up everything to achieve it.

My problem comes from the fact I want to have my cake and eat it too, and it just isn't possible.

I want to have the basics for life, and not to live in poverty.
Last edit: 15 Jan 2013 15:17 by maynoth.

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  • Rickie The Grey
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15 Jan 2013 15:34 #89449 by Rickie The Grey
Replied by Rickie The Grey on topic Big life choices

There is a balance, I have it right now. Balance doesn't mean I am getting anywhere fast though


So what is new.:laugh: We are all in the same boat. Welcome aboard. :)

Stay on your path, opportunities will present themselves, stay open.

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15 Jan 2013 17:02 #89469 by Alluvius
Replied by Alluvius on topic Big life choices

maynoth wrote:

Alluvius wrote: The only way you don't may any progress toward your dreams before you die is to simply give up and not put forth the effort...which it's beginning to sound like you have.


Just to clarify, I can dedicate my life to my dreams and work a part time job and live in extreme poverty.

Or I can pursue a professional career, and pursue my dream as time allows, which means it will never be accomplished before I die.


Those are my options, short of winning a huge lottery jackpot.


I am not asking if I should give up on life and not put forth any effort, both paths will require huge amounts of effort.


What I am doing now; trying to work a normal job, and pursue my dreams is giving the worst of both worlds, I make no money, and my dreams are dead in the water.

Something needs to change.


I think I've mis-stated what I was trying to say...

I wasn't suggesting that you give up, I was saying that you're throwing out a lot of self-defeatist thoughts and statements that lead (at least) me to believe that you have already decided that it can't be done. That you cannot do both, and from other statements you've made, that you cannot accomplish your dreams. Which further leads me to believe that you're not seeking advice, you're seeking permission to do what you've already done...which I will not give because I'm a firm believer in "where there's a will there's a way" and I will not enable your self-defeatist attitude.

Now...have you misrepresented what you were trying to say? (which would result in me misunderstanding your intention)

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15 Jan 2013 17:29 #89479 by Alluvius
Replied by Alluvius on topic Big life choices

maynoth wrote: www.bishopcastle.org


2 things, for accuracy
1) A castle is a wall, not a house
2) He finished it by himself, but his father put in a significant amount of work with him in the beginning...all he did was take the cabin that he and his father started together, and expanded it to be a large home...a "castle" to continue the misnomer.

I figured you'd come back at me with coral castle, ( coralcastle.com/ ) which we assume was a one man endeavor from beginning to end...but we really don't know how he did it.

And since my sarcasm was obviously missed...I was commenting (in an admittedly "round-about" way), that nothing is impossible if you want to bad enough. ;)

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15 Jan 2013 17:29 #89480 by maynoth
Replied by maynoth on topic Big life choices
Alluvius,

I have a career path, and I am absolutely confident in my ability to make good money with it.

There is no doubt in my mind I can move my way into this line of work and make a successful career out of it.

I've spent hundreds of hours, and spoken with many individuals, and looked at what it took them to get there.

I'll need 10-15 years minimum of hard work, to get into the field.


My other dream requires just as much dedication and perseverance, but offers no money in return.

Right now I am just working a crap job, doing small jobs on the side, and pursuing my dream on my days off.

I am getting no where fast financially, and no where fast towards my dreams.



Alluvius wrote:

maynoth wrote:

Alluvius wrote: The only way you don't may any progress toward your dreams before you die is to simply give up and not put forth the effort...which it's beginning to sound like you have.


Just to clarify, I can dedicate my life to my dreams and work a part time job and live in extreme poverty.

Or I can pursue a professional career, and pursue my dream as time allows, which means it will never be accomplished before I die.


Those are my options, short of winning a huge lottery jackpot.


I am not asking if I should give up on life and not put forth any effort, both paths will require huge amounts of effort.


What I am doing now; trying to work a normal job, and pursue my dreams is giving the worst of both worlds, I make no money, and my dreams are dead in the water.

Something needs to change.


I think I've mis-stated what I was trying to say...

I wasn't suggesting that you give up, I was saying that you're throwing out a lot of self-defeatist thoughts and statements that lead (at least) me to believe that you have already decided that it can't be done. That you cannot do both, and from other statements you've made, that you cannot accomplish your dreams. Which further leads me to believe that you're not seeking advice, you're seeking permission to do what you've already done...which I will not give because I'm a firm believer in "where there's a will there's a way" and I will not enable your self-defeatist attitude.

Now...have you misrepresented what you were trying to say? (which would result in me misunderstanding your intention)

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  • Alluvius
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15 Jan 2013 17:44 #89492 by Alluvius
Replied by Alluvius on topic Big life choices

maynoth wrote: Alluvius,

I have a career path, and I am absolutely confident in my ability to make good money with it.

There is no doubt in my mind I can move my way into this line of work and make a successful career out of it.

I've spent hundreds of hours, and spoken with many individuals, and looked at what it took them to get there.

I'll need 10-15 years minimum of hard work, to get into the field.


My other dream requires just as much dedication and perseverance, but offers no money in return.

Right now I am just working a crap job, doing small jobs on the side, and pursuing my dream on my days off.

I am getting no where fast financially, and no where fast towards my dreams.


And there's the rub. You have presented this problem in a misleading fashion. You have this elusive and mysterious "dream" that you want to pursue. But you also have this career path that has now been identified as another dream of yours. That complicates things and brings you closer to the idea that if you continue to pursue this "either/or" path, you will be disappointed no matter which you choose.

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  • Rickie The Grey
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15 Jan 2013 17:46 #89493 by Rickie The Grey
Replied by Rickie The Grey on topic Big life choices
What field/career path are you in?

I believe your dream is your martial arts?

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