Some mental relief needed.

  • Armadyl
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11 Oct 2012 22:19 - 11 Oct 2012 22:26 #76244 by Armadyl
Some mental relief needed. was created by Armadyl
I have returned after a friend of mine used my laptop and a foot rest in my car . I have struck a troubling time where my stress and nerves are running higher than the national debt. My father just had his fourth heart attack and his 8th stent put in, he is alive and well,the force is with him as always. Along with that I am dealing with my PTSD from the USMC. And to add a nice cherry on top, I have a co-worker who continues to try and walk over me, with yelling in my face, the talking behind my back and now telling me my wife is not allowed into the shop(the first time she's visited me in about a month)(I'm a mechanic) while her husband is here everyday using our equipment for his personal gain. I have been biting my tongue through the yelling, the talking, but bringing my wife into is has gone too far. The mosnter I have mentioned before is just tearing my good sense to shreds and I need the advice of fellow Jedi. I need wisdom unclouded
Last edit: 11 Oct 2012 22:26 by Armadyl.

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  • Asopo
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11 Oct 2012 23:16 #76247 by Asopo
Replied by Asopo on topic Some mental relief needed.
I'm not sure about what advice I can give. I want to get a tattoo, "This to shall pass."

The most I can say is, I am here to rant. The other option is, look for another job. I feel like there is very little we can as employees since we are not the employer. I would say talk it out, but it definitely sounds like your employer would be unreasonable.

What do you do to help yourself de-stress? I game, I do artwork, sometimes I dance for a long time. As much as I love being in the raves (which is most ideal when I am facing lots of stress), it is not always possible, so I plug in my headphones and just dance my heart out. Physical activity helps a lot, but I know as a mechanic you get a lot of physical activity.

I do not know you, have you tried talking to your wife about it? Do you go to therapy? Have you looked into a reiki treatment? I am not sure if that is possible...because I do not know where you are. I like reiki personally. Um, if you are having physical symptoms try and see what the associated chakra would be and see if you can meditate upon a color or use a crystal. It is so new age, but for me it always works.

I dunno if these brainstorming ideas help. I keep telling myself, deep breaths, deep breaths, but sometimes I go downstairs and pound the crap out of the punching bag downstairs.

Anyways feel free to pm me~

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11 Oct 2012 23:39 #76250 by Armadyl
Replied by Armadyl on topic Some mental relief needed.
I am going to try meditating with my crystals, I am a very serious gamer and it's a quick fix but when I work full time, by the time Friday rolls around I have maxed out my bullshit meter. Skyrim is my dirty addiction, I often imagine Lydia is my coworker and shout her off high high high mountains...bwahahaha. Anywho ,I will keep posted with my progress Oh, about the PTSD, I do see a therapist, he is dumb and has no understanding of my issues but I do enjoy filling his head with mounstrous images of war and bloodshed. Thank you for the advice it is dearly appreciated.

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11 Oct 2012 23:53 #76251 by Asopo
Replied by Asopo on topic Some mental relief needed.
Is there another therapist you can seek? I've been to a lot, and a few I just do not "click" with so I changed them when I was younger.

Yeah gaming is a quick fix lol. I've been meaning to pick up Skyrim since I now have a computer that should be able to handle it. I remember all the times I used to go ganking with my guild clans XIII or Condotierri...always left me feeling better.

Actually what I used to do before I quit my job, if someone made me mad, I would imagine them going Super Saiyan...then I could no longer take them seriously.

Try looking into reiki, as an alternative source. I really like reiki and I have finished reiki 1. I wanna do reiki 2 and 3 one day.

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12 Oct 2012 00:46 #76253 by Armadyl
Replied by Armadyl on topic Some mental relief needed.
I decided to fire up my CAD program, and re-design my hidden blade design using the codex pages from in-game :p should help with the stress, I'm a very mechanical and logical thinker

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12 Oct 2012 04:41 #76260 by Reacher
Replied by Reacher on topic Some mental relief needed.
Brother, my heart goes out to you.

My old platoon sergeant underwent counseling for PTSD after our deployment and two of our guys lost their fight with it. A third nearly so. It's an invisible wound.

As far as this woman goes...don't ever forget who you are. I don't know all of the details of your situation, so I can't speak to you uniquely. But there are a few things worth considering.

Respect is a two way street and there are some lines no one crosses. Establish or re-establish those lines while balancing assertiveness and tact.

If there are things going on that don't seem right...have the talk. You'll have to tailor it to you audience, though. There are ways to highlight things that seem wrong without raising hackles. But again, I don't know the people you're working with.

Addressing that which causes you distress is a HUGE step in the healing process. If you don't, it'll fester and embitter and get worse. Even if it lets up for some other reason, part of you will look back and wish you had done something differently. Maybe not even wish you had done something differently, but be a little disappointed with the 'you' that didn't at least address your concerns.

Sorry, man...I just hate to see a guy in a rough situation like that.

Jedi Knight

The self-confidence of the warrior is not the self-confidence of the average man. The average man seeks certainty in the eyes of the onlooker and calls that self-confidence. The warrior seeks impeccability in his own eyes and calls that humbleness. The average man is hooked to his fellow men, while the warrior is hooked only to infinity.
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12 Oct 2012 10:57 #76273 by Phortis Nespin
Replied by Phortis Nespin on topic Some mental relief needed.
Armadyl,

I am a firefighter. There are many instances of firefighters getting PTSD from years of EMS work and from seeing the terrible situations that people get into. It is not as bad as what a military soldier may see, but the effects are the same. We use CISD's (critical incident stress debriefings) to help start the path to heal, but it is a long process.

For me, I have found that talking with my fellow firefighters about their experiences and sharing the common bond of sorrowful and depressing scenes, works better than a therepist. I am not saying to stop the therepy, but be honest with it, don't just tell stories, you will never heal. Also remember, you will never forget your past, you need to put it in the right place in your being. To heal means that you can live with the job you have done and that you understand the reasons and actions that you have taken.

As far as your working environment, in this economy it may not always be wise to quit a job or to piss off the boss. It is a employers economy in which they hold the upper hand. (more employable people than jobs available) Buddha says, "You cannot change someone else, you can only change your outlook, your actions, your responses, your inner being. Change must come from within."

Meditate on what you want from your life, plan a new course and follow that path. You must be happy with who you are! With so many troubling areas in your life, you must take the time to re-evaluate the whole of your life, and start one-by-one to realign those troubles with your true path.

In the spirit of Buddhist thinking... "We are here for you, why don't you join us?"

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12 Oct 2012 11:49 #76280 by Barrera
Replied by Barrera on topic Some mental relief needed.
I feel your pain brother. I was Infantry and on my second contract a Medic. Afterwards I became a contractor and I had two bosses who were awful. I mean awful like every day it was a struggle to get out of bed and deal with them. It got to the point where I would just walk around the base in Kuwait to be away from them and on our off time I was just a hermit. Everyone's situation is different, but let me tell you some things that helped me.

First and foremost talk to this woman. Take her asideON A GOOD DAY (Not after a fight) and explain your feelings on the issue in the most non-confrontational way you can. Ask her what it is you might have done to offend her, and explain how she has offended you politely. If this method doesn't work speak to the next guy up, or one above that if you have to. A hostile workplace is unacceptable no matter what.

Meditation and martial arts has helped me a lot in recent months. The more I focus on the present and my feelings the more I am able to save my energy for the things in the here and now and the things that matter to me. To that end I actually recently got rid of my 360 and all my PC games. For a long time I thought it was relaxing me but the truth was it was just stressing me out. I would spend that time playing games instead of doing things that actually mattered or that actually brought me some real enjoyment or peace. (Like reading on philosophy and religion or doing martial arts) Once I sat down and really examined what mattered to me I found things cleared up quite a bit and quickly.

The most important thing is not to internalize that anger until it becomes outward acts of aggression. That serves nobodies interest, and in the long run you'll end up much worse for it.

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12 Oct 2012 12:01 #76283 by Jestor
Replied by Jestor on topic Some mental relief needed.

Armadyl wrote: And to add a nice cherry on top, I have a co-worker who continues to try and walk over me, with yelling in my face, the talking behind my back and now telling me my wife is not allowed into the shop(the first time she's visited me in about a month)(I'm a mechanic) while her husband is here everyday using our equipment for his personal gain. I have been biting my tongue through the yelling, the talking, but bringing my wife into is has gone too far. The mosnter I have mentioned before is just tearing my good sense to shreds and I need the advice of fellow Jedi. I need wisdom unclouded


First, remove what her or her husband do, you have no control over it, and my thinking is you should let it slide off of your back...

The only reason it should bother you, what they do, is if you are jealous that the husband can use the equipment for personal stuff, and you cannot...

See what I did there?

I should have just had you examine your motives for any emotions...

Calling people out, when they deal with me is my way of dealing with it...

I dont like stress, nor uncomfortable feeling in my day to day life, and when they are there, I try to get to the root of it...

Usually, when the motives are questioned, the one causing the stress realizes it...

Have you ask this woman why she gets upset that your wife comes in? You dont call her the owner, so I am guessing she is just a co-worker, evenb if in a position of more responsibility...

Is she jealous? Does she think about you inappropriatly? Is she jealous of your wife's figure? Her car? You and Your wife's loving interaction, and doesnt want reminded of what a miserable old shrew she is turning into, er, uh, i mean what she might be missing out on?

I have found, once the shouting is over, and its time to talk, when you confront the situation, it can be resolved...

But, it may take several attempts, and quite a while to get it resolved...

Use this as a good time to practice your deep breathing, and self control... Why are you letting an outside party control your emotions? With a few words, she has you under her control, and can make you mad in an instant...

My advice, is years of practice, and even for me, I cant control the other players in the game, so there are variables...

But, have a plan... It starts there...

Think about how you are going to deal with it the next time...

Have a game plan going in, and follow through... Even to ask her why she is so mad, is a step in the positive direction...

Just my advice...;)

Good Luck with it however you decide to deal with it...[/color]

On walk-about...

Sith ain't Evil...
Jedi ain't Saints....


"Bake or bake not. There is no fry" - Sean Ching


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14 Oct 2012 23:49 #76525 by Armadyl
Replied by Armadyl on topic Some mental relief needed.
I must really thank all those who gave me their words of wisdom, with meditation, drafting, and working at the local haunted house I have reclaimed my sense of peace and I am now reflecting heavily on it. I focused heavily on the teaching of Patience available on this website. It is good to know that I am in good company here. I would also like to mention on a side note, that my anger problems are slowly diminishing through my studies and by a certain philosophy in particular, and I will leave it here as my final note for anyone who wishes to reflect upon it.

It's easy to have power, but to use it right is very difficult

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