Just a few minutes ago the house dog began to bark. He was going crazy and when i yelled to him (i don't yell at him or get mad at him for barking) to stop he wouldn't. I grabbed my fiancee's Bouken (not sure if that is the way it is spelled) and went out to see what was wrong, thinking it was the crazy (literally) drug user was around again, he doesn't like certain people. Well, i went outside and was using the darkness and my familiarity with the surroundings to my advantage. I didn't really think that there was anything there but i wanted to be sure. So i went out and it hit me, am i really prepared to hit someone who may not be armed or at the very least have a knife. I have the advantage as far as distance is concerned but would i be ready to actually hurt someone if needed. I realized something at that time, it wasn't about what i wanted, it was about what i needed to do if i did see someone that was going to attack me. While i was thinking about having to hurt someone i felt nothing, no fear or anger. My mind continuously returned to the task at hand. As you have already guessed there was no one. I can not compare it to what goes on in a real violent situation, i have never even been in a real fight. When i got back inside i was a bit tired, i think my adrenaline was going and that isn't something i am used to. I wonder though, what would have happened. There is a big chance that the person could have had a gun, or was good at fighting. I could have very well lost but while i was out there all i could think about was finding out if there was someone here.

Okay, i know that wasn't the best idea for me to do, but i didn't want the dog to keep barking and he only stops when someone investigates. You can say it was a bad idea but i would do it again if i needed to.

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