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 Today my fiancée and I got into an argument. I tried so hard to be the better person but because of my emotional nature I was not able to hold back my tears. This argument was over him wanting to use a smaller knife to cut his steak, ridiculous I know and he apologized for it, afterwards we had a great laugh and we actually connected that much more, he even let me know what he has thought in the past a bit, he usually doesn't tell me anything he's is thinking of.Well, when I was in my room crying, I had some time to think about things. Mostly very personal things, but then I started to calm a bit and wondered about the state of Sorrow. The state of sorrow is a very lowly and lonely place. It is where all emotions can spring forth from. Once may be cheered up, made angry, or forgive.But beyond the emotions that lay there-in it is the only place where we may find that we are truly alone. Often we are the only person who is feeling sorrow at the time, they say misery loves company, well if someone is feeling lonely what better way to stop feeling lonely. The world continues to turn and time goes on but for those who are sorrowful time stands still and will not budge until you have come to a place where you feel again or do not feel at all. When I am done I am at a place where I feel nothing at all. I enjoy this place but not by the only means in which I may get there.I understand that threw the Force or the Tao we are never truly alone. Even if we do not realize this we are not alone because there is always something alive around us. There are germs and organisms all around that would make it impossible for any person to be completely alone. But when I am sad, sorrowful I feel completely alone. I suppose if I didn't have attachments to my fiancée I would not worry so much about any of this but for the time being I can not help it.As I have stated other emotions spring from sorrow. After a short while I wasn't really angry at anyone any more but I was just angry and for the first time I just had to let it out. So I molded my hand into a fist and screamed into myself (I have a terrible habit of not wanting the people around me to know how I feel). I didn't feel better, only different. But I felt as though I had betrayed myself. It is hard for me to get mad as is but lately I find myself feeling more and more emotional. I don't understand it but I have been. I am glad I could get this out in a non-judgmental place.Thank anyone who may read this.

May The Force Be With You Always

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