Advice

OB1Shinobi wrote: The fear that you face now is only the first manifestation of the struggle that you will face for the rest of your life.

Its not a matter of defeating your oppressor
it is a matter of learning how to be afraid while upholding ones dignity as a humam being

This is the first step to being Jedi

Thats not very specific but its very precise

dont let your mind get boxed in to the idea that youre at oddz with another person

The deeper theme is how you will belive in your own self worth when life puts you in a situation where no one else belives in it


Also remember that no one fights harder than a person who knows that they are in the right. Dont let anyone confuse you. You do not have to submit to the whims of the fearful or the belligerent or the manipulative.

When another person is seeking to dominate you there is no wisdom that will help you unless you have decided for yourself these things
1) that you are worth loving and respecting. You have value and you have magic that will make the world wonderful
2) that you are willing to respect that same value in others
and
3) that you and only you are responsible for belifing in and respecting your value

It doesnt matter if you are afraid. and it doesnt matter if you face this lesson now or twenty years from now but the lesson will remain until you choose to belive in your own value.
when that happens you will find a way to face your fear

PM me if you want

Thank you so much, may the force be with you

Streen wrote:

Exar Qel Droma wrote: What would a true Jedi do if he was being manipulated, bullied and walked all over?
(Apart from not let it happen in the first place)

When I was in school, I was bullied pretty bad, and I just took it and buried it, which I do not recommend. I let my anger and hate build up so strongly in me that I still battle it today, some 20 years later.

WWJD? What would Jedi do... well, honestly, I have no idea. I personally feel it is necessary for people to defend themselves, almost like martial arts, but mentally and spiritually. If you're repeatedly tormented, you have to do what you can to stop it. I know turn-the-other-cheek is a popular philosophy, but when you're living in pain, sometimes you have to do something to show your tormentors that you won't allow them to do so anymore. But as a disclaimer, I DO NOT condone violence.

Everyone has to deal with these issues a different way. Sometimes bullies can be laughed at and pitied, allowing you to shrug it off. That worked for me in certain cases. In others, I wish I had punched a couple of those jack asses. That's me being honest with you, not saying that that's what you should do.

Thank you for the advice fellow Jedi, mtfbwy always

Hello mate,

I found that, to echo OB1, you need to believe in yourself. You are of worth, just as much as anyone else.

If this has been going on for a long time and is proving to be emotionally damaging (possibly physically too) then believe me the best thing is to remove yourself from the situation and surround yourself with people that love and support you, rather than those that bring negativity.

From my experience, I had this with my ex for 7 years and we had 2 children, so it was incredibly hard for me to 'get out' and am still not entirely free as I have to 'deal' with her regularly due to our children and contact etc; it is NOT your fault. You are the victim here and you need help, unfortunately due to the position you are in you feel you are alone and those that maybe should traditionally be there to help you are the ones causing you pain. Therefore, you need to take the necessary steps for yourself.

Firstly, you have your own moral compass, you know when something is right and wrong. Stand up for what you consider to be right. If someone is treating you so badly you can not live by their standards, they will be tainted.
Secondly, you need to look after yourself, because no one else can or will.
Thirdly, you need to protect those closest to you (i'm thinking of children, I don't know if that's relevant, but anyone who can not fend for themselves). Though you should note that this does not necessarily mean you should stay at risk believing that remaining where you are will help them (i did that, it doesn't work like you'd think).
Lastly, you always have a choice.
As mentioned in previous posts, change is not always bad. We fear change because we fear the unknown, but life is constantly changing, and even an initial bad change (i.e. ending a relationship) could prove to lead to a long-term benefit (i.e. new and happier relationship or general freedom).

Be strong, take time to consider what is the right thing given all the information you have available, and pursue that.

However, do not put yourself in some sort of life threatening position, obviously I do not know the level of abuse you are experiencing, if it's anywhere near life threatening then ignore what I said above and call the police the first chance you get and explain everything.

Never give up hope, things will be hard but there is help out there if you want it and are willing to ask for it (obviously we are all here to help should you want, I was meaning something more immediate such as police etc.)

May the Force be with you friend. Feel free to PM me (if you have that sorted now) if you want to talk further.

God is the universe, we are the universe so everything including ourselves is God/The Force

Yep, seek answers within