American men, American media, and the villification of men by the american media.

you want to draw attention to the wrong...point out? In my life i have seen what kind of things trigger people and this is one. Instead help by educating. teach don't point at show by example... be the right in the wrong world be, the change where its needed, try not to hinder them...who ever it is but add..give...case in point, yes there is a problem, yes my in laws always...always claim me to be chauvinistic... but my rebuttal isnt to say well your wrong i educate them. I take time to show them there is abetter way there is light in a dark world and i am the light. Now i dont directly say these words to them but i live by example. At the dinner table stand when ever my wife leaves the table...a bit old sckooo i know but the level of respect for my loved one is evident. things like that, yes sir to my son, no sir to him when he asks for things,,,, a better way to do things, the example leaves them speechless at times and they have even grown to respect the methods i teach my family to act and have thanked me at times in their own way.

Like all things, this is something to be aware of. I believe the positions of the sexes are seeking balance right now and men are receiving a "tide going out" phase right now. This happened before with The Goddess.

One of the first things that article says is "Media shapes our sense of ourselves." That line itself encapsulates every reason why every assumption made by that article is wrong. If you are so weak minded as to let your entire self identity be controlled by stuff you see on tv, then you need to seriously reevaluate your life.

Oneiros wrote: One of the first things that article says is "Media shapes our sense of ourselves." That line itself encapsulates every reason why every assumption made by that article is wrong. If you are so weak minded as to let your entire self identity be controlled by stuff you see on tv, then you need to seriously reevaluate your life.

I think the main concern is about young boys being harmed.

ren wrote: I think the main concern is about young boys being harmed.

The asumption that young boys are being "harmed" by this is wrong because the basis for that article and that line of thinking is also wrong. The sort of paranoia that that article is based on and promotes is not healthy or helpful to righting any of the imagined wrongs that it claims to point out.

This article appeared recently and when I first read it I thought the term "Alpha Male" could effectively be replaced with Jedi. But there wasn't a thread to which it was applicable until this thread appeared. I edited this version - removing boldface, all capitals, etc.

How to be an Alpha Male

Posted on October 13, 2014 by Go Kaleo

There is a growing movement of men who want to ‘take back masculinity’, to reassert their biological directive to be Alpha Males. It’s easy to find ebooks on ‘Making Any Woman Want to Sleep With You’, ‘Become The Alpha’ etc. There are even yearly conferences where men gather to learn from other men how to be Manly Men, free the inner caveman, dominate women and control their manly destiny.

As best as I can tell there are three main desirable characteristics of Alpha Males:
1.) Alpha Males Get Laid Often.
2.) Alpha Males are Desired by women and Respected by men.
3.) Alpha Males Look Like Men, with broad shoulders and visible muscle mass.

Now, I happen to embody all of these characteristics. I’m happily married and no one’s complaining in the bedroom, if you know what I mean. Wink wink, nudge nudge. I’ve had more than my share of propositions from women, and I have a large following of respectful men. Many a dude bro and low-carb blogger has told me I look like a man. Apparently I am a Alpha Male So, I decided to write a guide to being an Alpha Male. You can thank me later.

Here are some of the keys to being an Alpha Male:

Alpha Males make the people around them feel safe. This is probably the most important aspect of being an Alpha Male. Alpha Males create this environment of safety by defending other people against bullying, aggression and ridicule. If the Alpha Male sees another person being made fun of, he jumps in and sticks up for them. When people feel worried and stressed, the Alpha Male determines how he can help them out, and then does it. This usually means asking the person what would help the most. The Alpha Male is the one who looks out for the safety and well being of the group. The Alpha Male is the one people look to when they are scared. The Alpha Male sets himself up as a bastion of safety by simply being calm and kind and protective of his friends and other vulnerable people.

Alpha Males do not create needless conflict. Alpha Males don’t run around starting arguments. Alpha Males mind their own business and create an atmosphere of calmness and safety for the people around them. An Alpha Male won’t back down from a threat to the safety and well being of a vulnerable person or themselves, but they don’t go out trying to manufacture conflict. Alpha Males also don’t bother with other males who are lower in the hierarchy. Sure, those lesser males will come around thumping their chests and boasting about how manly they are, but an Alpha Male knows these lesser males aren’t a threat and doesn’t waste his time engaging with them – unless they threaten or ridicule another person. Then the Alpha Male will come to the defense of the other person.

A true Alpha Male does not need to tell anyone he is an Alpha Male. It is clear from the moment he walks into a room that he is an Alpha Male. He brings with him an air of calmness and peace. His presence puts others at ease and makes them feel safe. The men running around making noise and aggressively telling people they are Alpha Males are not Alpha Males – and everyone knows it. There is no bigger clue that a man is a beta (or lower) than bluster, chest thumping and ridiculing others.

An Alpha Male makes women feel valued and appreciated. He does this by listening to them, showing an interest in their lives and their interests, defending them against ridicule and aggression, and being kind to their friends and family. Oh, and also by not raping them. The Alpha Males who make women feel valued and appreciated are the ones getting all the tail. Want to get laid regularly? Be the kind of man a woman wants to sleep with every day for the rest of her life. Women don’t want to sleep with beta males who run around making fools of themselves telling everyone how manly they are. Women see right through that shit. And if you have to rape someone to get laid, you are most assuredly not an Alpha Male.
Alpha Males put the well being of the group ahead of their own interests. That is the Alpha Male’s job: being the leader, the protector, and the rock. If a man’s primary interest is his own penis, he is not an Alpha Male. If a man is more worried about his appearance or his public persona than he is about the happiness and safety of those around him, he is not an Alpha Male.

An Alpha Male does not ridicule or denigrate women. It belies an insecurity and deep fear that women pick right up on. Women do not want to sleep with men who are afraid of women. It’s just not manly.

Alpha Males are incredibly appealing, to both men and women. I am enormously fortunate to know several Alpha Males. I hold them in considerable esteem. And they are, as one would expect, successful in both vocation and their relationships with women. These men get laid. A lot. And they get paid. A lot. Because they move through the world in a way that makes the people around them feel secure, valued and safe.

If you want to be a true Alpha Male, stop listening to the clowns thumping their chests and making all the noise about how manly they are. They are fools, and they will drag you right down into their nonsense and bluster...

These are the real Alpha Males.

(Source: https://gokaleo.com/2014/10/13/how-to-be-an-alpha-male/)

Kohadre wrote: It's too long to copy into a post, but is a very informative read I reccommend for members in the US and following US affairs.
http://www.boyslearning.com.au/articles/men/How%20the%20Media%20Portray%20Men.pdf

I'm not sure why the word "American" is used three times in the thread title or US used twice here, when the book the synopsis summarises was written in Australia about US, Canadian, British and Australian culture. It is, in other words, about all western, English-speaking cultures, not specifically America.

Nor is Feminism an American movement. Mary Wollstonecraft, British, is frequently cited as the first feminist, and the term was coined and developed in France, then first brought to fruition in New Zealand and Australia in the form of suffrage. Funny how ideas only ever emanate out of the US, isn't it? :dry:

Feminism itself, which it's important to distinguish from some types of radical feminism, promotes gender equality, not about the superiority, repression or misrepresentation of any gender. Given the huge and obvious advantages being born male still represents in each of the western English-speaking cultures listed above, I find arguments like those this book is presenting pretty disingenuous. The conflation of that certain type of radical feminist like Solanas and Dworkin with feminism in general is particularly inflammatory (and stupid). I might as well suggest the beliefs of Silvio Berlusconi or Jeffrey Dahmer represent those of all men.

Looking at the mass media, any reasonable person would conclude that men are monsters on the rampage.

Uh, no. Any reasonable person would conclude TV requires drama and supplies fantasies, including the fantasies of people frequently treated as a kind of secondary underclass for overthrowing those who still hold the balance of power (see: angry dads). And that TV is just TV, not an adequate basis for all of our beliefs and opinions. No-one lives hooked to a TV 24/7 and if people choose to spend the majority of their time doing so, they have only themselves to blame when they turn out thick as... mud. I certainly agree there are a lot of these unreasonable people out there, but statements like the one above demonstrate that this book is pandering to them.

My point really is this is not in any way an exclusively American debate, nor is it an exclusively male debate. It's a western cultural debate about the shifting position of gender roles which has been ongoing since the industrial revolution some 200 years ago.

I realize I'm not old and therefore don't know how it was in the olden days... However:
-I have been disadvantaged at school because of my gender my entire life
-I have been disadvantaged in employment because of my gender my entire life (though I must say I only ever saw a job advertised --on a government-owned website-- as women-only in the UK)
-I will be disadvantaged with my pension because of my gender, assuming things remain as they've been my entire life and I actually reach pension age.
-Assuming someone ever manages to sue me, I will be at a disadvantage in a court of law because of my gender.

I am constantly told that the evil patriarchy of the past was oppressing women by forcing them to stay home, whilst the men clearly had a great time doing hard labour at the mine, or hard labour in the fields, or hard labour at the steel works, or being dead from either work or war.

I am absolutely sick and tired of seeing my gender or its attributes being vilified at every corner for things that it clearly it isn't responsible for.

I am the primary carer for my child (who has a mental disability). It is by far the easiest occupation I've ever had. It's easier than going to school/college/uni, easier than my hobbies, easier than finding jobs, easier than any job I've ever had (and I've made my fair share of easy money). Like an idiot i believed the feminist rubbish up until the point I started taking my kid to the park. In the day it is filled with women who do nothing all day besides sit at the park. Then there's Costa (fancy coffee place), filled with women who stay there all day. And then there's virgin active (fancy private gym) filled with women showing their bums to the gym instructors all day. And these are the people I know because their kids go to the same school as mine. One of my neighbors, single mom, smokes weed all day, every school day.

It is men who have been oppressed all this time. What they call patriarchy is in fact very much matriarchy, but with a typo. Do not ever believe anyone who complains about childcare or home chores. Those who do it are in fact living a luxurious, privileged lifestyle (and depending on gender can also walk out of any relationship at any moment for any reason with all the valuable stuff and future income). And I know it because I live it (oh and still manage to make money).

I believe with all my heart that the problem lies in the fact that what we need is not masculinity but maturity and responsibility. Regardless of gender period if we as a nation were more proactive to realize the actual need..... which is not being wht we think a an should be but being what a person should be...responsible and more filled with ACTUAL CHARACTER... YES.. THATS IT.!
If you remove the gender label what is the problem??? What are we talking about? people missing character and responsibility. So, when you see the actual need, FILL it, change iit from where you sit. Where you live

ren wrote: I realize I'm not old and therefore don't know how it was in the olden days... However:
-I have been disadvantaged at school because of my gender my entire life
-I have been disadvantaged in employment because of my gender my entire life (though I must say I only ever saw a job advertised --on a government-owned website-- as women-only in the UK)
-I will be disadvantaged with my pension because of my gender, assuming things remain as they've been my entire life and I actually reach pension age.
-Assuming someone ever manages to sue me, I will be at a disadvantage in a court of law because of my gender.

I am constantly told that the evil patriarchy of the past was oppressing women by forcing them to stay home, whilst the men clearly had a great time doing hard labour at the mine, or hard labour in the fields, or hard labour at the steel works, or being dead from either work or war.

I am absolutely sick and tired of seeing my gender or its attributes being vilified at every corner for things that it clearly it isn't responsible for.

I am the primary carer for my child (who has a mental disability). It is by far the easiest occupation I've ever had. It's easier than going to school/college/uni, easier than my hobbies, easier than finding jobs, easier than any job I've ever had (and I've made my fair share of easy money). Like an idiot i believed the feminist rubbish up until the point I started taking my kid to the park. In the day it is filled with women who do nothing all day besides sit at the park. Then there's Costa (fancy coffee place), filled with women who stay there all day. And then there's virgin active (fancy private gym) filled with women showing their bums to the gym instructors all day. And these are the people I know because their kids go to the same school as mine. One of my neighbors, single mom, smokes weed all day, every school day.

It is men who have been oppressed all this time. What they call patriarchy is in fact very much matriarchy, but with a typo. Do not ever believe anyone who complains about childcare or home chores. Those who do it are in fact living a luxurious, privileged lifestyle (and depending on gender can also walk out of any relationship at any moment for any reason with all the valuable stuff and future income). And I know it because I live it (oh and still manage to make money).

Ren, first of all I would like to say that I am genuinely sorry for any injustice you have suffered because of the prejudice of others. Just because women were mistreated in the past doesn't mean that anyone should seak to right that wrong by mistreating men. Feeling that in order to gain equality the other side must be under the thumb (so to speak) for a while is completely missing the point of equality and undermines healthy relationships and social growth.

That being said, I don't feel that the article posted has the answers. It is paranoid and misleading. It does not accurately represent the situation and instead portrays a world where everything is now against men and that is simply not the case. You have to try to see past the biased, alarmist views put forth in that article and find the truth.