No offense, but...

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9 years 5 months ago #165341 by rugadd
Replied by rugadd on topic No offense, but...
Can I then choose to walk away from an offended person and not accept that what I did was offensive?

rugadd

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9 years 5 months ago - 9 years 5 months ago #165382 by
Replied by on topic No offense, but...
Sure. You always have choice. That won't change responsibility if in fact you are responsible. Now stop being so sensitive,
Last edit: 9 years 5 months ago by .

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9 years 5 months ago #165678 by
Replied by on topic No offense, but...
Conflating PC with that of taking offense or being offended has caused some confusion.

Background

During the 1960's in the United States a variety of social - political - liberation movements arose. One aspect of these movements was Identity Politics. Very simply, these various groups wanted to control their identity by controlling the names by which they were called. These groups wanted to wrest control of their identity from others and be self defining. For example, women did not want to be labeled Ladies; those whom we today speak of as African-Americans, back then changed the reference Negro to Black; persons whose native language was Spanish divided themselves by other criteria than simply language (Hispanic, Latino, etc.). The political issue for each was that they got to decide what they will be called. In the 1990's a conservative reaction to Identity Politics sought to counter the social pressure to address persons as they wished by dismissing it as merely being Politically Correct. Challenging Identity Politics as merely being an empty form of good manners is an expression of a political power struggle that continues today. Demanding that one has the right to self identify is the attempt to gain political recognition and thus also a struggle for power.

PC / Politically Correct is not simply a concept that is to be used in order to find grounds for being offended.

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9 years 5 months ago #165681 by
Replied by on topic No offense, but...
So, in any offense situation there are two points of view: the Offender, and the Offended. If you are the Offended maybe you should stop and ask yourself - did the Offender intend to be offensive, or did I just interpret his words as offensive? If you are the Offender maybe you should stop and ask yourself - did I intend to offend the Offended, or how were my words misconstrued to be offensive?

When my daughter was younger, and was being picked on in school, I told her that words only have meaning if you allow them to, otherwise they are just words. Of course she would eventually use my words against me when she got in trouble for being a "potty mouth" - "Dad, there just words..."

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9 years 5 months ago #165685 by Jestor
Replied by Jestor on topic No offense, but...

rugadd wrote: Can I then choose to walk away from an offended person and not accept that what I did was offensive?


Are you trying to have a conversation?

Or make a point?

With the person you have offended, I mean, lol, not with the post...:lol:...

Are you worried that they will see you as an uncaring, offensive person? Is this a person with whom you will have future dealings? A boss? A subordinate?

Its not so simple... lol, it never is...

Kaverael wrote: So, in any offense situation there are two points of view: the Offender, and the Offended. If you are the Offended maybe you should stop and ask yourself - did the Offender intend to be offensive, or did I just interpret his words as offensive? If you are the Offender maybe you should stop and ask yourself - did I intend to offend the Offended, or how were my words misconstrued to be offensive?


Right...

Like that...:)

On walk-about...

Sith ain't Evil...
Jedi ain't Saints....


"Bake or bake not. There is no fry" - Sean Ching


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Master: Jasper_Ward
Current Apprentices: Viskhard, DanWerts, Llama Su, Trisskar
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9 years 5 months ago #165696 by steamboat28
Replied by steamboat28 on topic No offense, but...

Jestor wrote: Are you trying to have a conversation?

Or make a point?


Intentional offense makes a point quite clearly. It's why the "C-word" is one of my favorite in the English language--because no matter where you are, or what you do, if you shout it in a room it gets people's attention.

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9 years 5 months ago #165741 by Jestor
Replied by Jestor on topic No offense, but...

steamboat28 wrote:

Jestor wrote: Are you trying to have a conversation?

Or make a point?


Intentional offense makes a point quite clearly. It's why the "C-word" is one of my favorite in the English language--because no matter where you are, or what you do, if you shout it in a room it gets people's attention.


Yea, it sends a message...

I know what I would think...

"Who is the crass loud mouth with no social etiquette, hollering profanities across the room?"

Followed by doubt that anyone who needs to go to such extremes has much of value for me... I definetly could be wrong, but history, and various members of my family have shown me that I have a pretty good shot at being right..

Not really my kind of message... I can get the rooms attention without bellowing a profanity...

On walk-about...

Sith ain't Evil...
Jedi ain't Saints....


"Bake or bake not. There is no fry" - Sean Ching


Rite: PureLand
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Current Apprentices: Viskhard, DanWerts, Llama Su, Trisskar
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The following user(s) said Thank You: Gisteron

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9 years 5 months ago #165751 by
Replied by on topic No offense, but...
Through all of this there are some practicalities that haven't been discussed. While, certainly, the notion that intending to be offended and intending offence are personal reactions, which should both be avoided; there are basic communication techniques that can reduce unintended offence. The most basic of these is recognizing the "tone neutral" environment of written communication. Due to the absence of body language and inflection we can only establish tone through our word choice and only after a sufficiently expansive block of text do those word choices establish a "voice" and the amount of text necessary to establish that voice is variable from individual to individual. Therefore its best to assume that your "voice" comes off dry and monotone. Even emoji aren't sufficient to overcome this as a smile can be sarcastic or sinister just as easily as joyful or amused.

From a communication perspective, monotone voices are ascribed a serious, sincere disposition by the majority of listeners and readers unless they have specific reason to feel otherwise. Aim your dialogue on this assumption and you'll find offence taken far less often.

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