I have been a healer for years.
For as long as I can remember I have sought to help people. As a child I wanted to be a storm chaser, a spy, a doctor and for a time a priest.
When I was 14. Almost lost my nephew in a car accident. His mother picked me up after school since I live so far away. The guilt was just... outstanding. While illogical, I vowed to find a way to learn to save lives. To happen apon those on the brink and have the skills and abilities needed to reach out and return them to this live.
This was a childs dream. However, those are the ones that motivate us the most.
I went through a program in my high school called OEC (Opportunities in Emergency Care), I was trained as an EMT in high school. I worked a few jobs as an EMT, even as a Medical Officer, but soon I started working at a Trauma Center.
I have been here for 9 years, I still volunteer my time on some services. However, I have found that the people in the field and in the ER have colored my experiences. Given me a vision of life that at times can bring an indescribable amount of joy, and equally indescribable pain.
I have seen miraculous events performed by my teams. Every time we pull one back from the brink, It is a joyous time for me. When we loose, I know why, I logically understand it, but inside I punch myself a little. Not from knowledge that anyone including myself could do better, but that a life was lost.
As Jedi we often talk about light and dark. There is dark in my life as there is in everyones. My darkness is loss, loss of a life I give my all to keep from perishing. Especially with children, My first patient was a child, while the child lived... when I was done I had the same feelings as I did when my nephew was hit by a car... Fear... anger.... determination.
Over my years as a practitioner, I have worked on children. I do not like to, because who likes seeing children in pain? but I do, because it needs to be done. It scares the living hell out of me each time a critical child comes under my care. However, fear must be met with courage. When fear rears its head, my courage comes from that 14 year old teary boy who swore to protect life. When I froze for a second in my training, or when something frightens me. That 14 year old in khakis steps in front of the darkness and dares to stop it.
That is my light, courage in the face of fear. Brought forth by pure will, by conviction and by the knowledge that what I do may be thankless at times, but I watch the differences I make happen.
One should never felt guilt about what they have done. Why? Mainly due to the fact that one had already made the choice, even if they do not realize that they have. We all make choices to do this or do that. We have to understand ‘why’ we have made that choice, no matter what it is.
I know that there are those categories in stating this will of the light side and this is the will of the dark side. What I have learned that is sometimes is not light or dark. There is only power, and the way that one preserves what is being presented to them. It is also based on one’s point of view and how one is taught and brought up. One can be taught to hate a particular religion because their belief is the only one that is right, while one is taught growing up to except all others beliefs as their own. However, I do believe that there is a philosophical difference in beliefs that the biggest major miss due to they are closed minded and not open to others point of view.
There is and can be a lot of confusion in what has been stated. There is a conscience mind and the subconscious mind. However, there are theories that stated differently. We have our own mind, and there are those alien thoughts that come at us. Those thoughts when one is attempting to be silent in the mind like in meditation, and thoughts keep crashing against us like waves against a shore. We have a mind of our own, and then there is the rational mind that is not ours that always bombards us in ways that do not make sense. That is why that we should follow our ‘gut instincts.’ Sometimes it can be right, and other times it can be off. Depending on one’s point of view.
All things considered, given the on-line nature of our community, we all seem to fade in and out from time to time. And given the nature of the rest of 'hyper-reality' in which we move, the fading out and in of even that, perhaps from (t)here to another (t)here perhaps, in time and on time ...
:whistle:
A lot of it comes down to doing what we have to do, where we have to do it - in any 'here', on-line, in-line, as true representations or representations of truth - telling tales to ourselves in, of and on the information super-highway or the metaphysical motorway.
:silly:
Congratulations on your new flat, V ! Sort your internet amongst the sweaters and socks, type it all out in the tea-towels ...
:cheer:
When you get back in we'll be having a party. ;)
Two bands that I don't typically listen to, but I like the Renholdër remixes.
[video]
Linkin Park - Blackout (Renholdër Remix)
[video]
Evanescence - Made of Stone (Renholdër Remix)
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I'm not worried about being extradited.
You should be. When they want something (or someone), they get it. No asylum status is going to protect you if you're in a country that does't have the guts to say "screw you".
Yes RyuJin well said. I do believe that if they had any real power they would not be so open about themselves in the way that they are. They seem to allow their darkest secrets to unfold like a book. When they speak they do not sound confident. By all appearances they seem to be living out a fantasy but I never assume when I do not know. That is the best policy in my opinion. I am focusing my use of energy working and magic to heal. I want to create and not destroy. I believe that it is a waste of effort to use your abilities, or talents, whatever they may be, to hurt others. When I look at the philosophy of the Sith Academy, and then look at what my philosophy was before, I see that they are similar in essence, but they are both truly pointless. What is the purpose of domination? Conquest of that which already exists, to convert all of reality into your own image, it is a waste of time.
What happens when, theoretically, all reality is under your control? Everything would conform with everything else. Everything would be the same but you are at a dead end. Where do you go from there? If you have nothing left to conquer or destroy then your motives have been exhausted. You no longer have a purpose. Creation however, is limitless, and there is no end to creating. All things that are created in this dimension must decay however, but more is created in place of what has departed, and I believe that most life reincarnates. Those who live only for domination or destruction lead an empty life. By remembering that emptiness I am inspired to keep struggling against my own temptations to fall back into that old life of self destruction.
May have nothing to do with homosexuality. 18 year old "going out" with a 15 year old is paedophilia: An adult engaging in sexual acts with a child (someone under 16). Some parents are going to be cool with it, gay or hetero, some aren't. Either way, if the law says it isn't cool, don't complain when you get caught.
Not sure why they call it "battery" though ?
Rickie the Grey
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If I over think intuition it get's jumbled.
I completely agree. Once you start to think about your intuition, you immediately over think your intuition. Always go with your gut.
Once I learned to trust my intuition, instinct, gut, whatever you want to call it, I was able to become a much better medic. The ability to overcome the egos need to control instinct is a very helpful tool in your Jedi toolbox.
Part of the double-speak paradigm is hiding the underlying ideology and making slogans that nobody can disagree with because it doesn't mean anything. It's like "support our troops"... yeah everyone supports our troops... try saying "support our war" and see what happens.
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