Thank you for responding. This is very tough for me to get through. I feel a lot of guilt over my thoughts and intentions over the past several years. I have never actually harmed anyone though there were times when I would get very angry. I would cast hexes and curses on others. I never found out if I succeeded although there were a couple of occasions where I seem to have. It does not matter if one were to say it was coincidence or if I truly was able to bend the forces of change to my will. The fact of the matter is that I want nothing more to do with that path. I am spiritually sick and I know that deep down I was never truly "evil" so to speak. I can recall that I felt imprisoned and beyond redemption. I was easily manipulated. For now I feel that my destructive nature should be set aside. If there is a way to do good somehow with it, to heal others, or to create, then I know that during this process I will retain some of that. But if that is not a true part of myself then it will depart along with the rest of this negativity.
There have been a lot of tears so far. A lot of people go through their entire lives not realizing that there are forces at work, energies that by their nature will corrupt you if you invite them in, and it truly is an internal struggle. I would not wish this upon anyone. I feel that this negative energy is the essence of what some would consider demonic although I do not believe in biblical demons as such. I do however believe in duality and in energies. The Universe does not inherently have a dark or light side. It simply exists. But there are some such as we who have discovered a way to attune ourselves to the Universe. When you are aware of these energies you can choose to create or destroy. Those who chose to destroy invited negativity into our world. I believe that it has been here since then. We create "evil" and only we can banish it. The Universe will not force us. We must open ourselves to the will of the Universe, to the will of the Force, and only then can we heal ourselves.
Try doing some random acts of kindness. Small simple things that are helpfull to others, makes someone smile or feel better. Situations will present themselves, you will act kindly and move on. You'll feel better for it.
I'm not worried about being extradited.
You should be. When they want something (or someone), they get it. No asylum status is going to protect you if you're in a country that does't have the guts to say "screw you".
Yes RyuJin well said. I do believe that if they had any real power they would not be so open about themselves in the way that they are. They seem to allow their darkest secrets to unfold like a book. When they speak they do not sound confident. By all appearances they seem to be living out a fantasy but I never assume when I do not know. That is the best policy in my opinion. I am focusing my use of energy working and magic to heal. I want to create and not destroy. I believe that it is a waste of effort to use your abilities, or talents, whatever they may be, to hurt others. When I look at the philosophy of the Sith Academy, and then look at what my philosophy was before, I see that they are similar in essence, but they are both truly pointless. What is the purpose of domination? Conquest of that which already exists, to convert all of reality into your own image, it is a waste of time.
What happens when, theoretically, all reality is under your control? Everything would conform with everything else. Everything would be the same but you are at a dead end. Where do you go from there? If you have nothing left to conquer or destroy then your motives have been exhausted. You no longer have a purpose. Creation however, is limitless, and there is no end to creating. All things that are created in this dimension must decay however, but more is created in place of what has departed, and I believe that most life reincarnates. Those who live only for domination or destruction lead an empty life. By remembering that emptiness I am inspired to keep struggling against my own temptations to fall back into that old life of self destruction.
May have nothing to do with homosexuality. 18 year old "going out" with a 15 year old is paedophilia: An adult engaging in sexual acts with a child (someone under 16). Some parents are going to be cool with it, gay or hetero, some aren't. Either way, if the law says it isn't cool, don't complain when you get caught.
Not sure why they call it "battery" though ?
Rickie the Grey
If I over think intuition it get's jumbled.
I completely agree. Once you start to think about your intuition, you immediately over think your intuition. Always go with your gut.
Once I learned to trust my intuition, instinct, gut, whatever you want to call it, I was able to become a much better medic. The ability to overcome the egos need to control instinct is a very helpful tool in your Jedi toolbox.
Part of the double-speak paradigm is hiding the underlying ideology and making slogans that nobody can disagree with because it doesn't mean anything. It's like "support our troops"... yeah everyone supports our troops... try saying "support our war" and see what happens.
I would like to meet my distant relative who fought in the Civil War and was captured by the South...once released they shipped him off to serve at Fort Caspar where he died of malnutrition. How sucky would that be?
Living...I would like to meet Chris Angel and ask him how he looks so young!!! I mean, whatever he does it works well and I wanna know. :P
We all know, violence it's at last end
we need to know also violence exist
hope never happen, but we all can be pushed to use violence
there is always a way to push other to use.
so, now the real question, when happen, and it's time for us to defend ourself, or someone else
what we use
by self defense law, never a weapon bigger in power than your opponent.
to me, use what I need to end up safe in fast and secure way, if that can be accomplish taking in mind my local laws BETTER
lightsabers don't exist, so are not an option
o whatever we use is up to the moment, there is no way to know (can be in the bathroom, when you take a shower, and your best weapon can be your shampoo and a towel)
you can carry a baton (if is legal) or a stunt baton, or whatever.
lightsabers don't exist, can look like, but doesn't work.
your surrounding can provide weapons.... you can be the weapon...
One has to remember, there is no such thing as good or evil, its all about power.
I think you may have misunderstood the intention of my ramblings MurMur, this was never about God as a deity it was my way of breaking down the differences between the ego brain and true consciousness.
I chose to use the mythology as a method of explaining the internal conflict and the transcendence of it.
I think the word "god" leaves a bitter taste in most people's mouths, but in this case, "god" is a word meaning your own, personal "higher self", not a religious god.
Thank you Master, I suppose the use of the term "GOD" is very much misrepresented at times, as you have stated what I meant by god is the part of you that is "GOD" (the force), whether the god is good or evil is irrelevant, it still created the ego self and as such is the true spirit and driving force behind the illusion of what we are.
Though I also suppose that in using the word god I was talking about the mythical concept of a god that is there for our fragile ego to grasp upon until true enlightenment comes through mythological translation of the holy scriptures.